I'm just so bloody outraged

[LanguageAsAFlower]

Walking into town with my baby in his pram today as I rounded the corner by my house a man in his twenties nearly ran into me, as he was riding his bike on the pavement this exchange ensued:

Me: you should ride in the road.

Him: I'm riding on the pavement.

Me: I believe the law states this is a footpath. You're an adult on a bike.. in future please ride on the road.

Him: I'm riding on the pavement

Me: (nothing Walks on)

Him: I like your bum

And I'm posting this because yes, 8 hours later I'm still pissed off, but also I thought in some ways I was immune with a pram. Since becoming a mum I've felt pleasantly invisible to the average street Neanderthal and I've enjoyed that. How fucking dare bike Neanderthal try to silence me by sexualising me.

Anyway. Outrage,

You don't get to tell a woman how she can react to sexual harassment.

I'm not telling her how to feel. Just giving my opinion - as I said the man gave a pathetic response and acted like a petulant child. The OP, imho, should let it go after 8 hours of being pissed off. He was a twat and she told him what she thought ....

Yes. Women, when face to face with sexist confrontation, under no account should you think of your own distress in the matter, and certainly don't let it affect you for longer than ten minutes, tops.
You should distract yourself with thoughts of all the people in the world who gave it much harder than you, and, if at all possible, see the aggressive sexism as a compliment that shows you are still a viable sex partner, and therefore still have worth.

That's not what I said though is it @FloralBunting. I said he was a twat and a petulant child. I think the OP put him in his place, as I have said, and he resorted to name calling like the idiot he is. It would irritate me but not bloody outrage me. By stewing on his stupid comment he has 'won' by taking up her headspace, whereas in my eyes the OP 'won' when all he had to fall back on was 'I like your bum'. He was a dick. But I personally wouldn't waste my time stressing about it.

pieceofpurplesky, can you not @ me please. It's quite adequate to just bold if you want to draw my attention.

It's nice that you are confident enough that you are sure you could shake this kind of thing off. Not every woman is the same as you though, and they are perfectly entitled to feel exactly as strongly as they like about this kind of knobish behaviour.
I don't understand the need to chastise the OP, particularly in the sanctimonious way you have done. But yes, I conflated your comments and the comments of the other less-than-helpful poster in my comment.

All these things are like mosquito bites. One mosquito bite: no biggie. Two: irritating. Three or more: really putting a downer on your day.

A lifetime of multiple mosquito bites / micro-aggressions / instances of casual sexism:
BLOODY OUTRAGE.

I feel you, OP.

What does the former president of the USA have to do with British men riding their bikes on the footpath and then commenting on women's bums?

(Awaits words of bollock-y wisdom.)

Nice post OrdinaryGirl.

Interesting viewpoint into catcaller’s psyche as the bum comment was most definitely not intended to be a compliment as so many claim it is when women complain.

Another here who gets your outrage OP. It’s so much more than a “petulant comment”. That incident highlights how ingrained sexism and male power is in our society. Which is outrageous.

I still get riled when I think back to a time I was cycling around some residential streets in London and got shouted at “ooh that’s a lucky saddle!” by a bunch of builders. They said it twice in case I hadn’t heard the first time. Twats.

Have a nice troll house cookie the both of you. Criminy!

The disdain showed for the safety of baby 👶 and mum speaks volumes about the bum on the 🚲

The rage is a normal response to being bullied and verbally assaulted

I have things I do with a veg knife and pumpkin/marrow to get residue dickhead shit out of my body

The mosquito bite analogy is very good. On Friday, just before the storm broke, I took my dog for a walk and wasn't wearing a bra because it was so hot. A van drove past me twice slowly - I thought it was looking for somewhere to park - and the second time, the driver leant out of his window leering and gave me a thumbs up. He was in his 30s, I'm in my 50s. He made me feel ashamed so I went home.

So shit

I don't know really that debating "bloody outrage" as compared to "annoyed/miffed" is really a thing, it was how I felt for a time, my being outraged doesn't invalidate anything else that's going on in the world. If we did things by that logic no one should be annoyed by anything because there's always someone worse off.

I thought it was worth a post, because I know it happens to so many people every day and it really shouldn't. But I also think that anger is a fair reaction. I can't get on board with seeing someone reducing me to an object as a compliment. It's all about context. If I was in with my partner, in our house and he told me he likes my bum, that's a compliment because I know him, I'm comfortable in the situation and I also know he respects me in many other ways. When a bike riding youth says it to deflect attention from being told off it's different, it's meant to draw attention to my vulnerability as a woman, it's meant to objectify me and it's meant to stop me telling him off. I think that's a disgusting way to behave and believe it's worth getting angry about - don't get me wrong, I went about my day and had a lovely day out and it certainly doesn't affect me the way such things did twenty years ago, nevertheless, I think if we stop being angered by this sort of thing that it is sad. I wanted to say more to him and make him realise how ridiculous his reaction was but he rode away.

I don't even think PPs who think I should "get over myself" or take it as a compliment are necessarily trolling- I know quite a few women Irl that would take that stance. I think they are wrong and they are normalising aggressive sexual behaviour. I would be so disappointed if my son spoke to anybody in that way. It is ridiculous and somewhat trivial but I think it has darker undertones... and really PPs who think I should calm down/get perspective/take the compliment only further confirm that for me.

Oh I I love the mosquito analogy. If only there were bug spray for misogynistic twats.

I completely understand why you wanted to post and why you feel the way you do.

I am also outraged every time this happens, even if it is just a silly comment. You feel like you can't walk outside of your house without being targeted by some moron and made to feel in some way vulnerable or humiliated or scared... or even just irritated and inconvenienced!

It’s such a giveaway when men do this. It shows that this behaviour is often nothing whatsoever to do with attraction or compliment: it’s about putting you in your place and reminding you that your actual purpose is sexual and ornamental so why the hell are you daring to cross a man?!

Last time I had it was from a Microsoft spammer. I told him to go away and stop trying to steal from me and after a few feeble attempts to pretend that he didn’t know what “scam” meant his last sally was “You have a very sexy voice”. I agree with you OP - there’s something specifically infuriating about it.