BBC internet article about being a surragate

[Melamin]

Or wanting to be one - it is a pipedream

www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/article/427e42d2-fbcc-46aa-8996-16634612be53?intc_type=singletheme&intc_location=bbcthree&intc_campaign=bbcthree&intc_linkname=article_surrogate_contentcard12

Wrong spelling

I don't think I believe this account is genuine.

I am wondering whether this is in fact a troll who has decided to get a bit of propaganda out there about how some women really want to do this. But it reads like a male fetish fantasy. 'she' wants to have her belly swell etc. The motivation isn't even the altruism, it's the pregnancy itself, and the baby will be disposed of to someone else once the ride is over?

All sorts of alarm bells are jingling here.
Not buying this one.

Not buying it either, had seen it and also immediately it seemed a 'male' thing to me,

What does the author expect the parents to tell that child when it’s older? “Your mother knew she really wanted to feel a baby growing inside her, but she didn’t want it once it was born. It’s okay, though - she used another woman’s egg so she wouldn’t end up bonding with you by accident!”

Its not just me then.

I thought it sounded bizarrely weird but couldn't put a finger on it. I just thought it was someone who was extremely naïve but it was waving flags at me.

Usually you get a little bit of something like this followed by a few accounts with some experience behind them.

It does seem a little strange. Surrogacy makes me uncomfortable anyway though.

It's a very romantic view of pregnancy too. All cravings, backache and tiredness. Not crippling spd, haemorrhoids and prolapses.
Or forceps/c-section scars which will leave a lifelong impact. This person needs to read some of the women's health and childbirth pages on here.

Their mother’s voice is one of the first sounds they ever hear when they’re in the womb, so the bonding process starts even before birth. Which is partly why I would want the surrogacy to be gestational only – that is, we’d use a donor embryo implanted from the mother, rather than my egg

So the baby isn't going to bond with the mother because it isn't her egg?

I know that orphans survive and many go on to live happy and fulfilled lives, but...

It made my skin crawl to read that. How utterly selfish.

Horrible horrible article.

Very peculiar article.
No idea if it's genuine or not.

Mmm...sounds a bit...fetishy....

It seemed to me that she is in denial of the fact that she desperately wants a baby. Like her logical mind is telling her a baby is too bigger commitment and her carer is more important. But her heart tells her she wants one. So she's trying to tell herself that she just wants to experiance being pregnant then she can just carry on with her life.

But now it's been said, it could be a publicity piece. But then why put in the depression bit?

If its real I think she is a very confused woman. Do they do a psychological profile before you can surrogate - or can litrially anyone do it with no mental health check?

I think she needs mental health support to help challenge her False Beliefs

I don't necessarily disbelieve it. It sounds odd because it's an 'as told to' story - and not a very well- written one at that (reads a bit like a police statement)

Another one thinking mental health or male. Doesn't ring true. Like the idea of woman being peddled by the other cult, is this the start of another appropriation?

Yes MH or male.

Dissociation of thought from reality; fine we all have out there moments, but its another thing to dwell and embellish and have fantasies get out of control... and then we get people who think that we actually should have dissociation of action from reality and consequences for the child. Scary. And so selfish.

Hmm - this is why surrogates already need to have their own children - because (and I know some people will disagree with me) I don't think you can know how you'll feel until you're there.

I always wanted kids, but I wouldn't describe myself as maternal, I didn't know how I'd feel once my children arrived, and I wouldn't say that I felt the rush of love, or in love with them - but I did feel materially connected to them - they were me, little detached bits of me - and previously I might have been very cavalier about the whole thing, but once I'd had one, I knew exactly how serious it was, I could never be a surrogate now.

I know all about the negative parts of pregnancy, physically speaking: the back ache, tiredness, cravings, the sickness, all that stuff

Also this. Yeah. No clue there. I had an easy pregnancy, and that doesn't even start to touch how affected my body was throughout it. 'Back ache' ffs - try all over ache so you have to fidget in bed every 10 minutes, walking at a crawling pace because you have no lung capacity etc.

if I know that they’re not biologically mine.

What? Of course it's biologically yours, not genetically, but every part of that baby will have been supplied by yours, doesn't get more biological than that!

I know all about the negative parts of pregnancy, physically speaking: the back ache, tiredness, cravings, the sickness, all that stuff. And I know childbirth itself isn’t exactly a walk in the park. But the pain and discomfort are all part and parcel of the experience. Even though I don’t exactly relish the idea of throwing up in the mornings, for example, I know it’s just what some people have to go through. So in that sense, I’m looking forward to all that stuff too

Clearly, she admits to mental health issues, and if she is in the process of trying to become a surrogate she is clearly not male these sort of threads don't help any cause as they make us look paranoid.

As a pp noted this woman has a very very very limited view of pregnancy if she thinks the negatives are backache or throwing up in the morning Not hypermesis, or SPD, or yes, prolapsed vagina. do people really think morning sickness only happens in the morning?

She also has no idea if she will bond with it or not as she's never even been pregnant, and certainly not been pregnant for nine months then had the baby taken away and given to two strangers.

I'm not trying to 'help a cause' or hinder one.
I'm simply saying I doubt the credibility of the article. That I am filing it under 'doesn't ring true'.

Your mileage may vary.

Speak for yourself. We're just reviewing a shoddy article about female experience on the website of an institution that is much voiced as the top end of trusted journalism.

must be metal health issues coupled with extreme naivety. The whole thing reads as extremely immature.

It is a shoddy article but when you say it must be a man it makes you sound paranoid.

When you say you believe everything you read is entirely genuine it makes you sound naive and gullible.

I don't believe everything I read. Do you?