I'm in my prime

[dudsville]

Anyone seen Hannah Gadsby's "Nanette" on Netflix? I saw this a week or so back. I'd never heard of Gadsby and I was generally gripped and moved, such a powerful performance. In particular though I can't get this line out of my head. She builds up to a point in her delivery where she absolutely shatters the old notion that men are in their prime when they're older and women are in their prime when they are younger. Obviously "prime" is defined differently for men and women but both definitions suit men. I've never thought about this before. I've had such a boost from hearing her and can't get it out of my head this thought, I'm in my prime.

I stumbled across it on Nextflix and thought it was a tour de force. Amazing, powerful, perfectly balance humour with genuine searing observations on patriarchy and general attitudes to women and mental health etc. Almost made me cry. I am in my prime.

I watched it last night after I saw it mentioned in a Hadley Freeman article. Like you I hadn't heard of her before. It was brilliant. Had me in tears a few times.

Yes the bit about being in my prime was deeply significant. People of both sexes are at their peak of physical beauty and fitness in their late teens but it takes a few decades of maturing mentally, intellectually and emotionally (during which there might be the addition of a few extra pounds and a few more wrinkles as well as a bit less muscle tone) before they become fully "themselves". It is part of the endemic sexism in our culture that for females this mental/intellectual/emotional development is seen as unnecessary and less important than the simultaneous physical degradation so the "prime" is placed at the physical peak, whereas for males the mental/intellectual/emotional development is appreciated and valued enough that the wrinkles don't matter.

Challenging this sexism isn't new. See "The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie"

Posting here to remind myself to watch it

Hi you both, I'm glad to come across others who have seen this, thanks for posting. After sitting with it for so long, and then waking up this morning to that statement, I really wanted to connect with other women in their prime, I. E. someone to be reckoned with.

I watched it yesterday too. It was brilliant and searing and moving. I’m going to be recommending it to everyone I know!

I love your final comment, dudsville - “someone to be reckoned with”. Yes!

Such a wonderful performance. "There is nothing stronger than a broken woman who has rebuilt herself"

It's sad that she's cancelled her visit to Edinburgh but having watched Nanette I can see that the level emotional energy that her amazing performance requires must be draining. Such an inspiration.

I will watch this later but definitely agree with the sentiment outlined above.

I finally (at 38) feel like I am in my prime and feel more than a touch of sadness and regret for all those years 'wasted' feeling so shit about myself.

Thanks for reminding me to watch this! Also posting here so that I don't forget.

Yes it was incredible, this line has stayed with me too. I am in my prime.

Thanks for the recommendation OP really enjoyed this last night.
('In my prime' might also sort of refer to The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie by the great Muriel Spark)

I’m 33 and I’m pretty sure I’m not in my prime yet. I don’t feel like I’ve quite made it, nor do I feel that anything I’ve done thus far suggests I’ve already peaked. It’s quite cheering to think that I’m still on the upslope. But it’s hard slog becoming yourself. I’m looking forward to a glorious Table Mountain summit and then a tranquil freewheel down the otherside with the warm breeze blowing in my hair, my arms up in the air and a grin on my face 😁

(Apparently I’m feeling unusually optimistic today...)

Thought Nanette was absolutely stunning. One of the most powerful things I’ve seen/heard.

Love love loved it. So many things to think about from it. The bit about being self-esteem deprecating when you don't have power being humiliation rather than humility really struck me.

Self deprecating! Not sure where the esteem came from! I obviously text about self esteem a lot!

Yes, I loved that bit too!

I'm 35 and definitely 'hitting the wall', as the manosphere so charmingly put it . I don't feel that I've yet entered my prime. I still have a helluva lotta shit to sort out, but I like ImpYCelyn's idea that I'm on an upslope.

I still haven't got round to watching Nanette but I agree with being in my prime.
Im 38 and only within the past 2 years have I thrown off all the shackles and thought, "you know what, just fuck it". I'm not beholden to all the bullshit anymore and the feeling is just pure liberation.
Yes, im fatter, got the odd few wrinkles and grey hairs but I just dont give a damn. Life is on the up!

.

I found turning 40 to be a great point in my life to stop giving a shit.

Becoming invisible to men has some definite advantages

Love this thread, though I’ve not yet watched Nanette.

I finally (at 38) feel like I am in my prime and feel more than a touch of sadness and regret for all those years 'wasted' feeling so shit about myself.

Similar age, and feel the same. I think when women reach their mental/emotional/confidence prime is just when the patriarchy is discarding them as past it. It’s clear to me that this is my prime now, because I’m finally no longer riddled with insecurity. Yet society would have said I was in my prime at 17-22, when I was conventionally beautiful but crippled by low self esteem, body anxiety, need to please men etc. It does make me sad to see all this so clearly now.

I actually feel grateful to have a phrase for this time in my life. It shifts my perspective in a positive way. Now when I look back at my gaingliness and insecurities I just see "youth" and am much less self critical about it. Those years were the price I paid to be in my prime now.

Not seen the program, but I am mid 40s and loving it, since I turned 40.

Agree with PP that being inviisble to men has it's advantages, I'd go further and say that I am absolutely fucking loving it. So relaxing! the other day I was thinking, so this is what most men feel like most of the time is it, to be able to walk down the street, no eyes on you, up and down, no awareness that any second some random bloke might say something or stop you for a chat or whatever. I have started looking around when cars beep again like a normal person! It's great. And I think this is the reason for feeling much more confident and comfortable - it's a natural reaction to not subconsciously knowing you are being scrutinised / watched / etc all the time. It's brilliant!