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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

I contacted my MP now I'm not sure what to say

12 replies

speakingwoman · 03/07/2018 17:41

It's all so complicated. I know it's hard to get a simple point across.

My background is that I only know one trans woman and to be honest she is great and has become a friend to women. But that's because of her. Her specific character. I think of her as a woman but I absolutely know she isn't one despite her having removed her male genitals. I'm happy to share a room, etc with her but that doesn't mean I'm happy for the decision to be taken from me wrt other trans women.

I am also a mother and l also work parttime with children who are vulnerable and I notice that "ordinary" reasons for vulnerability in girls (poverty, family, undiagnosed SN) seem to be neglected in comparison with "being trans"

I'm very concerned about the influence of the charity Mermaids. It's wildly inappropriate for a mother who has to justify an act illegal in this country to have any influence, no matter how well intentioned she is (my best guess is that she acted as she did out of sheer fear)

I'm convinced that it's very dangerous to say that wanting to play in ways/with things associated with the opposite sex makes you trans.

I also think parents are being manipulated by the implied threat that if they don't go along with things their child will kill him/herself and it will be the mother's fault.

I recognise that transphobia exists and that pretty much ever trans person is vulnerable. But it affects girls too.

And lastly I agree that women's rights were recent and vulnerable.

How's that? Too much? Do I avoid talking about stuff like the plight of lesbians as I can't really speak to that? Do you stick to what you know?

OP posts:
Ereshkigal · 03/07/2018 18:09

I think that's great! Don't pack too many points in, concentrate on a few key ones and do them well. Other people will bring up other issues.

speakingwoman · 03/07/2018 22:42

Thankyou

OP posts:
loveyouradvice · 04/07/2018 00:16

I agree... make it REALLY personal.... you work with vulnerable children... you see their issues every day ... you are the expert in this... and this is why you are worried.....explain your concerns about how it will affect them....

as well as being a mum and a woman!

speakingwoman · 04/07/2018 10:45

ok cheers. have made contact now so I'll just get it done, tick it off and move on.

OP posts:
R0wantrees · 28/07/2018 12:06

OP update:
"I started by clearly saying that my concern was women’s rights and described my own personal journey. Praised parliament for the relatively recent coercive control/domestic violence legislation.

I brought up the “people with a cervix” cancer research piece and said my concern was about ordinary women and girls.

I stuck to saying we needed to uphold the equality act and said we’d made a mistake by not defining woman as the female sex earlier and keeping it separate from all the debates about gender.

He said he’d reflect."

thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3319818-I-went-to-see-my-MP-today

speakingwoman · 28/07/2018 12:16

:)

OP posts:
Indierockandroll · 30/07/2018 10:41

A good result. Can anybody please link to the cancer/cervix story?

R0wantrees · 30/07/2018 11:21

CRUK and 'people with cervixes':

fairplayforwomen.com/cancer_research_drops_woman/

womansplaceuk.org/cervical-cancer-is-a-womens-issue/

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3277806-Cancer-Research-anyone-with-a-cervix

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3280430-Trans-rights-supporters-can-we-please-unite-on-the-cervical-cancer-issue

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3265653-At-your-cervix

See also incident (December 2017) which demonstrates conflict of rights & also raises a number of serious concerns re good practice;

'NHS trust apologises to woman after ‘nurse with stubble and deep voice’ tried to take smear test'
(extract)
"The NHS has apologised to a woman who was left “embarrassed and distressed” after a nurse with stubble and a deep voice was going to carry out her cervical smear test at hospital. The woman requested a female NHS nurse to perform the intimate procedure but was dismayed when a staff member with “an obviously male appearance” greeted her. When the patient pointed out the mistake, the nurse replied: “My gender is not male. I’m a transsexual.”

The woman declined to go ahead with the examination – given to women aged 25 to 49 every three years and every five years for women aged 50 to 64 – and complained about her treatment. She stressed her complaint was not about the nurse’s appearance or gender status.

It is understood the nurse self-identified as a woman but had not been employed on that basis. He saw the patient only because of a clerical error. “[It was] weird where somebody says to you: ‘My gender is not male’ and you think: ‘Well, what does that even mean?

You are clearly a man’, the woman told the Sunday Times. “[The nurse] had an obviously male appearance . . . close-cropped hair, a male facial appearance and voice, large number of tattoos and facial stubble.”

The patient said it was “bad enough for a fortysomething mother”, but the effect of such an incident on her 17-year-old daughter would have been much worse." (continues)

inews.co.uk/news/health/nhs-woman-transgender-nurse-smear-test/

merlotmummy14 · 30/07/2018 11:47

Skip the "I'm friends with a trans woman" as it basically sounds like a different version of " One of my friends is black so I can't possibly be racist." Who your friends are is irrelevant. The rest seems fine.

Indierockandroll · 31/07/2018 09:18

Thank you. Feeling a bit overwhelmed by what to discuss as this spans so many areas, will just focus on a few key points that might have relevance locally and to me.

R0wantrees · 31/07/2018 09:39

I think someone made the point Indie that its better as you say to focus on a couple of points and encourage the MP to start asking questions.

Most are unaware.

The James Kirkup article is a good one to leave them with:

blogs.spectator.co.uk/2018/07/labour-and-tories-finally-see-the-truth-about-the-gender-debate/

or an earlier one,
blogs.spectator.co.uk/2018/05/why-are-some-mps-trying-to-shut-down-the-transgender-debate/

Indierockandroll · 31/07/2018 09:43

Thanks R0wan

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