ManFriday, thank you! Yesterday I.....

[LightofaSilveryMoon]

I walked in straight lines instead of moving over for men as I walked through town. It was interesting.

I disagreed with two men whom I know, twice, on political matters. They seemed a bit stunned, and changed the conversation.

Not huge, but a certain amount of personal growth and confidence in identifying as a Chap on a Friday!

I don't like talking over people - so I have started saying to them "please stop talking over me". Stops them in their tracks and they can't argue back without looking like a monumental idiot - especially once I've pointed out that I didn't interrupt them when they were speaking, so it would be polite to afford me the same courtesy.

I started walking in a straight line after that Verve video. And I'm quite chunky with a low centre of balance so I think the other person might come off worst

Try saying "It'll be in the last place you look" if asked where things are

I have for some time wondered as I negotiate my way through a mass of people down a city centre main street, what would happen if I just followed a straight line and not move out the way for anyone? How many people would I bump in to? And out of everyone I bumped into how many would be man/woman?

Is there a name for this "game"?

I am going to walk in straight lines from now on.

Last week I spoke with someone who is in the loop about a 'what's on' type guide. The 14 pages depict 19 men, a further 8 figures (well known entertainment group) who are men but they are wearing hats at such an angle that it's not immediately obvious, 4 fictional characters (no idea what sex) and 1 woman. She shares her picture with one of the 19 blokes. Person I spoke to gave me some useful insights into how this guide is compiled and encouraged me to speak to the (man) responsible. I will be doing that this week. Another man was present for this conversation and had the decency to look stunned.

I shall of course politely swerve out of the way of women and children

What do two men do when they meet on a path, is it like a staredown?

Last summer in central London I saw a white man and a black man walking towards each other. Both business people. Something about the black guy made me suspect he was playing the no diversion game. The two men crashed shoulders and wobbled sideways. Black guy keeps walking (did not apologise). White guy is utterly outraged and starts commenting loudly about how that man just walked right into him while turning to stare in outrage. He was spluttering to other people on the street. It genuinely had not even occurred to him that actually he had walked into the black person just as much as the black person had walked into him. It was very interesting to witness.

Since then I've noticed how POC move out the way just like how women and small people move.

I base my swerving on age and frailty. If they're old or frail I swerve. If I'm older I expect the same respect from the youngins. Teenage girls always accommodate. Teenage boys sometimes get caught of guard, but all accommodate, I've not been knocked over since the fateful time I learned this lesson. Passing two men on narrow pavement next to passing cars, I'd presumed one would step aside to let me pass but instead I was actually bumped into the road. Never again. Those in my age bracket get eye contact and if they seem nice then we mutually negotiate, most people are nice but my trick for managing those who aren't is to touch them. People hate this, so if you're oblivious to your surroundings and about to walk into me I will put my hand out to your shoulder and say "woops!" in the English way that means you're making a mistake there fella - I. E. a little patronising, parental or teachery!

Rabbits, that is interesting! I thought men might size it up depending on whether another man was bigger than them.

Good tips

I learned my lesson the hard way, stepped to the left automatically, Off the kerb, into a pothole and broke both legs. To this day DH doesn’t understand why I did it.

Now I stop dead and don’t move. It’s very hard not to give way automatically.

Since that incident I've noticed it a lot.

Yes, women tend to move. POC tend to move. Smaller people too. Individuals yes, pairs or groups, no.

Broadly though most people seem to do it based on normal sensible things like assessing the others around you for speed of movement, available space for a side step, if people are in a group, apparent awareness of surroundings, how overtly aggressive the other people are, etc.

Most people are not dicks. The women and POC diversion is an expectation I see a lot though.

If they're old or frail I swerve.
Yes, of course. Also if they're encumbered with small children or the like, obviously.

Bishop Desmond Tutu was walking by a construction site on a temporary sidewalk the width of one person. A white man appeared at the other end, recognized Tutu, and said, "I don't give way to gorillas." At which Tutu stepped aside, made a deep sweeping gesture, and said, "Ah yes, but I do."

All these tales remind me of the video for Bitter Sweet Symphony

m.youtube.com/watch?v=1lyu1KKwC74&feature=youtu.be

I walked in straight lines instead of moving over for men as I walked through town. It was interesting.

I have done this. It is really fascinating. They just look at you. They don't know what to do.

I've also stopped moving out of the way for men, who don't speak to me, instead 'guiding' me with a hand on the waist/shoulder.

And, maybe somewhat contradictorily, also now guide men out of the way similarly.

Also interest.

I have also adopted the "straight ahead walking" where sensible to do so (I don't always want to draw attention to myself). I also agree that people tend to pass each other on the same side of the pavement as the side of the road that cars drive on - I learnt this the hard way when I moved to the US. Ditto standing on escalators

This Friday I used the gents loo in all my manliness. (Next door cubicles, one door has "Man" the other has "Woman" written on, both open out into a shared space with a wash basin). It was smelly

I find the walk in a straight 2thing fascinating. I live somewhere where people make eye contact * smile/nod if they walk close by so i really notice the not giving way in bigger/busier places but i find that if you do manage to make eye contact then the avoid each other dance is mutual.

Should i not be guiding my children to give way to others? When do boys learn to be men who dont give way? (Having typed that i realise that i am pretty sure DH gives way...)

Now I stop dead and don’t move. It’s very hard not to give way automatically.

Stopping dead in your tracks is a very effective strategy.

I've started doing that don't swerve for a man thing. I hadn't even noticed it before it was brought up on here < feminism fail >

I'm doing it quite a lot now and it's both amusing and liberating.

I've never tried this ... my next trip to town is going to be interesting....

Hello, all! Loved reading your posts!

I was inspired to walk in straight lines, instead of ducking and dodging around men, by a post I read on here a short while back, but cannot remember who wrote it, sorry. But the idea suddenly lit up in my mind on Friday as I walked through town.

It seems such a small thing, but it really is interesting, when you try it!

Did not encounter any hostile responses - just some men looking a bit puzzled before they swerved to avoid me.

It was a very refreshing experience!