Are parents of trans-presenting children; being manipulated?

[speakingwoman]

At one point in my past I formally refused to allow my son to go through a diagnostic process for ASD. By that point I was pretty expert and had the support of school. Nonetheless I had to withstand some pressure from
-the paediatrician
-the SALT

• other parents of children who were going through the diagnostic process.

I kept making sure I had a plan B for if my d3cision was wrong.

can’t help thinking I would struggle to resist now though if threatened with child’s suicide.

Thoughts?

Damn is OP wanted to be manipulated and given justification for child abuse then your recommendated site was spot on.

Ah yes - national curriculum - my DDs were learning to read in Y1 when they brought in whole class teaching, oversize books etc. They did not learn to read properly until Y5 when the teacher made them do Silent Reading whilst she sorted the register (and caught up with a whole load of other stuff ). Meanwhile, we had to buy our own books and do our own thing - it is amazing how far you can move on in a week with the right books.

Loving and caring and listening to your children is what is needed - they need to learn how to stand up to this week's orthodoxy in the outside world.

thanks for the charitable responses to a clumsy OP. You've shaped my thinking and used much better words than I did and this will really help me in future.

Yes, I think I need to read another chunk of books.

Brunskill-Evans -thank you. Library job I think!
Also a recommendation on my other thread today about Women's words and what men do with them.

Off to work.... thanks all good to connect with you.

Off to work.... thanks all good to connect with you.

Have a good day, lovely!

Loving and caring and listening to your children is what is needed - they need to learn how to stand up to this week's orthodoxy in the outside world.

Absolutely this.

It's really hard to stand against a prevailing orthodoxy even though it feels desperately wrong at a gut level, even about yourself.

^^This.

My parents tentatively suggested dyslexia for DB an myself educational problems to get shot down by the teachers so never pursued it.

Years later DM after our diagnoses saw a lot of those teachers in course of her work and mentioned it again - all of then turned round and said oh we always though that. She was left feeling guily, angry and let down as they'd have looked into for us with even the slightest psotive reponse.

Lesson I learnt from that is what ever experts say – it’s you that has to live the consequences.

I will listen to experts but in my life have come across a few with clear biases and agendas – and done my own research.

I suspect the biggest problem is unbiased resources for parents of trans-presenting children – from both sides and a distressed child you're trying to say no or wait to or we need to do research to check this is right especially if surrounded by people undermining that and telling child what they want to hear at that moment.

Lesson I learnt from that is what ever experts say – it’s you that has to live the consequences.

Exactly.

I spent 7 years trying to persuade professionals about my concerns about aspects of my DC's behaviour and presentation. I was told 'It's all in your head', or 'you are too strict' or 'you are too soft'. I am a child care professional btw.

Then change of school and that school picking up on my concerns. Diagnosis follows - though the only advice CAMHS, child psychologist and could give was 'we have no practical advice but keep on doing what you're doing as it seems to be working'. Social workers continued with 'you need to be less strict' or 'you need to be more boundaries' depending on which one it was.

So, after 13 years of being on the other side of children's services I have no confidence in them knowing what is best or having the capacity to understand and act on children's best interests. I am officially that 'difficult' parent for going against the often changing orthodoxy.

Fortunately I was not open to manipulation but many, many parents are.

Autistic parent often automatically = difficult parent as well.
Or parent who lacks capacity.

There is a huge overlap between gender non conformity and autism so I think autistic parents and parents of autistic children will be disproportionately affected by the snake oil merchants and their 'training '

SpartacusAutisticus - that about sums it up. Mental healthcare is as vulnerable to fad, fashion and ideological poor practice as anything else.

Exactly SpartacusAutisticus,

Having concerns about our children's mental/physical/emotional health is so often disregarded, minimised and used as supposed of evidence of our dodgy parenting.

The current approach re children and young people who are struggling with their gender is the only situation I know of where the professionals are told to immediately affirm, jump in, support and make special provision for. My DC has had many struggles and life has been very stressful but I'm so grateful the difficulties aren't around gender, I'd be terrified.

No other similar area where people call the police and invoke and try to set the law around a particular viewpoint, either.

Mossandclover
Damn is OP wanted to be manipulated and given justification for child abuse then your recommendated site was spot on.
I recommended that she should go to the NHS for unbiased information and to a highly-regarded charity that specialises in supporting the families of trans kids for support.

Are you accusing the NHS of manipulation and child abuse? Because if so, I really think you should be reporting it to the police, not having a go at me. But I suspect you really know very well that is not the case.

Refusing to seek medical advice for a child because you are afraid that she/he might have a treatable condition ... well that could very easily be construed as abuse.

Mermaid

WichBitchHarpyTerfThatsMe
The current approach re children and young people who are struggling with their gender is the only situation I know of where the professionals are told to immediately affirm, jump in, support and make special provision for. My DC has had many struggles and life has been very stressful but I'm so grateful the difficulties aren't around gender, I'd be terrified.
An excellent example of how someone has fallen for the anti-trans propaganda, has no idea of how the gender clinic system actually functions or what it does, and is understandably terrified by the completely false picture painted by the anti-trans cabal.

Having concerns about our children's mental/physical/emotional health is so often disregarded, minimised and used as supposed of evidence of our dodgy parenting.

Indeed.

I recommend not rising to any baits, by the way.

This is why this critical forum is so necessary.

When the rest of society is saying that only a bigot would not subject their child to major medical treatment when they question their gender and that puberty blockers are innocuous, what arms does a parent have to defend their child's health? There are always exceptions who are natural born critical thinkers, but the rest?

Oh and Damnthat thank you for the great laugh you gave me on the other thread, having laughed so much in years.

Ha ha Damn you are so funny!