Sex

[madcatladyforever]

I am now single for life. I have no further interest in men after my life experiences. I am horrified by what I read on this forum.
My sex is mine alone to offer, I see it as a flower that I choose to offer to someone I love.
It is not something that can be demanded, bartered, required, used as a bargaining tool or something I "have" to do to keep the peace or keep a man. It is mine.
Men don't understand how wonderful a thing is when it is freely given and as I have never had a relationship where it has not been a bone of contention and demanded non stop whether or not I want to give it I just decided to give up relationships and I am not sorry.

i miss sex sometimes. DH is disabled and hasnt been able to for years. hes not a touchy feely person so hugs are out too.

But id much rather be where i am tbh The dating threads are a horrific read and i couldnt "afford" some of the entitled men who like to troll these boards. Too many misogynists about and DH has my back in important ways Hes TOTALLY behind the way i campaign on social housing and this subject is very important to me.

I went off sex some considerable time ago (I'm mid fifties now). Looking back I think that I only really did it because it was expected. Magazines would always have articles about how much you should be doing it and how to keep your man happy.

I'm in a LTR and DH says he isn't bothered any more. I know some will say he is getting it elsewhere but I don't think so.

I am pretty sure I just started going out with men because that was expected. I am envious of women in relationships with other women.

Namechange

I swore off men decades ago. Doesn't mean I can't have sex.

Sex has to feel inspiring, deep, and really good. Men can't give me that. Some women have, but no men.

I'm approaching 50 now and I don't miss men at ALL. I've got everything I need.

I'm glad I'm not the only one. Sex has become a stick to beat us with.

I'm a widow who would love a sexual relationship. But my standards are high.

Such a shame this thread was not popular, because it makes good points, but maybe the subject heading was not quite right.

Maybe "Do the majority of women (not trying to conceive) really need/want sex, or do most just go along with it because it's expected?"

I realise NOW that I started having sex in my teens because I was bullied, cajoled, persuaded, by males and by society and my peer group. One thing I can tell you for certain: I felt absolutely NO physical desire for it emanating from myself. I had sexual relations for 6 yrs before I had an orgasm.

Through my 20s 30s, 40s, sex was something that you had to give a man in return for a relationship. Again, I didn't consciously realise that was what I was doing, what I unconsciously believed, until recently.

I am now celibate. When I play with the thought of getting into another relationship with a man, my heart sinks at the thought that he will want to have sex at frequent and fairly regular intervals. I no longer have any desire for it at all and the thought that I would be under the constant siege of expectation from a man repulses me.

the constant siege of expectation from a man

This phrase really resonates with me. I loathe the kind of duty sex that co-habitation typically involves. I don't like living with men or the endless emotional, physical and sexual labour it entails.

But I do like sex, when it's uncoupled from all the drudgery. My plan, if ever I manage to leave my unhappy marriage, is to find a young, ever so well-built male with whom I can have an extremely shallow and self-serving relationship!

Such a shame this thread was not popular

Maybe because not that many people think the same thing.
Many women do enjoy sex and even if I didn't, there's no way I'd hook up with a woman like one of the other poster, I just don't fancy them.

I imagine lesbian couples find their sex lives become less exciting over a long relationship too. It takes strategy to keep eroticism alive - and the right partner.