Agrona
Thank you for your support and kind words.
The deleted post wasn't shocking to me as it is a belief I have seen expressed before. I have engaged with a couple of other trans women posters who have also seemed keen to align their experience with women who are childless due to infertility or neccesary medical interventions. They also talked about their pain and seemed oblivious to the impact their comments and claims would have on others.
The lack of empathy was and is striking.
I was shocked the first time that I saw this (it was a few months ago and I was also new to the nature of the debate),
I was also upset the first time I heard someone (Rebecca Root on Victoria Derbyshire?) make the argument that some women didn't have uteruses, because they had hysterectomies, and so trans women who also don't have uteruses (because they are born with male reproductive systems) are also similarly women.
My upset was two fold:
- it touched a personal raw nerve. LIke some other younger women I have met, having a total hysterectomy did really affect my sense of self. In other situations I would be (and have been) happy to discuss this in terms of body confidence, sexuality and self esteem. It really can help if women share these experiences, if they are able to. There can be overwhelming feelings of isoloation.
It seems at the moment this isn't a safe place, some people are pouring over posts, trying to score cheap points.
The Gyny Cancer charities all share women's stories, they are important voices.
- and for me, this is the strongest reaction, perhaps surprising for other people who have been so supportive and understanding:
IT IS REALLY, BLOODY POOR LOGIC & CRITICAL THINKING!
Its frustrating that on this basis alone such statements aren't shown up to be nonsense and de-bunked. Perhaps we won't have to hear them repeated then.
So, I think this is best challenged.
I do understand that this was a difficult call for MN to make.
I have had some good communication wth the Mods, who are incredibly busy dealing with reports. They do understand how I feel.
There was a poster who was, they have determined, trolling. The troll tried to provoke and goad other regular posters and showed a complete disregard for the talk guidelines and the spirit of Mumsnet.
I am going to start a thread about how important Ithink it is that women's experiences of hysterectomies and infertility are not appropriated and why this matters.
(not straight away though)
I know other women feel similarly. @Munchausenslovelyhorse already has some great ideas.
Hopefully in sharing this together we might feel more empowered to express our truth and assert our right to challenge heartless appropriation of uniquely female experiences.
I don't want to give the troll any more power, so its better, as MN have agreed, that a separate discussion is started.
#sex matters
#we need to talk about women and girls