'lady dentist'

[Toadsrevisited]

Just had the primary school newsletter for this week and it refers to the visit of the 'lady dentist'. Dint want to be a difficult parent but don't think that is acceptable. How would you word an email? Or would you ignore it?

MrsJayy. Said

"Gentlemen nurse sounds like a nurse for men"

You surely must have heard of the frequently used description male nurse.

Ooo, I can’t get my head round this.
Professionally, ie talking about jobs, or seeing a gynaecologist the word lady is just wrong. And as pp has pointed out has a belittling/ undermining/ deskilling effect.
However it also has an ‘honorific’ tone. I’ve noticed in prisons women are called ladies and tbh, when you’re talking about locking and unlocking people, ‘can you unlock the young lady in B52’ is much much kinder than calling her by her number (which I’ve never heard btw) or ‘the woman in B52’
The ‘Dentist in school’ is a bit similar, they were trying to soften the impact of the Dentist visiting. Using her full name would have been better, (although my Dentist has a female name like me! We’ve discussed it along with small hands, she says it’s a 50/50 profession now and that money to buy into a practice is the biggest factor rather than sex).

No one says "gentleman nurse" Childrenofthestones - no one mentioned the phrase "male nurse".

@Etino I'm curious as to why you feel that using the word "woman" is somehow less kind than saying "lady"?

Assassintaed - yes

"I’ve noticed in prisons women are called ladies and tbh, when you’re talking about locking and unlocking people, ‘can you unlock the young lady in B52’ is much much kinder than calling her by her number (which I’ve never heard btw) or ‘the woman in B52’"

i agree that saying "that woman over there" or whatever feels, sounds wrong, impolite, in a way that saying "that man over there" does not.

I think it's because in our society, sexist as it is, lots of people when they say "that woman" it's in a sneering / angry tone, "bloody woman" type thing. "Woman" itself is interestingly not a neutral word in certain speech in the same way "man" is.

Saying to a child "ask the woman over there" doesn't feel as polite as saying "ask the lady" while "ask the man" fine. I'm not saying this is right by any means, but it is a real feature in our speech (at least where I live).

"Woman" is a bit dismissive and maybe insulting - which is a sign of entrenched misogyny if ever there was one.

I think lady dentist is an unacceptable term for a school to use as it presumes a dentist is male.
I accept being called a lady doctor by my elderly patients as they mean well and women in medicine were a rarity when they were young.
School children however should realise the word doctor refers to people of either sex and doesn't need a prefix

@SardineReturns sums it up well.

The terms 'lady dentist' or 'lady doctor' annoy me as much as 'woman dentist' or 'woman doctor' etc because there is better adjective to use - female.
Then, of course, it really should only be used if we need to know the sex of the person.

So, in this case, perhaps if a male dentist was making a visit too then stating a visit from a female dentist would be reasonable.
My DD's primary school comes out with unintended sexist shit too.

Interesting about lady v woman. I use "woman" with my children, I try really hard to not use "lady" even though sometimes I do because it's such a social convention. I don't know if my tiny little effort will ever contribute to shifting attitudes, but at least I can try!

It's as bad as "lady doctor", which many of us have been battling for decades. If they aren't referring to my male colleague as "man doctor", or even "gentleman doctor", why the hell should I put up with being the "lady doctor". Same for dentists.

In my case I think there is a distinction between woman and lady.

If I hear ‘lady vicar’ (which I do frequently) it’s often probably meant as a compliment, albeit a patronising one, eg ‘oooh that nice lady vicar’ or ‘that lovely blonde lady vicar’ (Grrr!)

The term ‘women priests’ or ‘women vicars’ is normally used by men who disapprove of our ordination all together and in the church it feels like a very derogatory phrase.

@Southfields "feminists are just as bad"
Feminists are not a hive mind. It's a general term which applies to men and women who believe in gender equality of opportunity. Sometimes they even disagree with each other about how this should happen.

It's giving a message very early on that the default gender for a dentist is male.
Why they just can't say dentist is a puzzler.

Southfields
Dr Greer is always called Ms Greer or Germaine Greer.
Professor Jeffreys, or Dr Jeffreys is always called Ms Jeffreys or Sheila Jeffreys.
Not really (as in the accusation that their titles are not used by feminists), I have used their title of Professor on a number of occasions. Primarily to make a point, and again to make the point, omit titles for men (the latter, because I like being mean!)

The consensus is correct though, it is assumed the default in these professions are male, so 'oh gosh, a female one' seems a surprise. As someone noted, the only exception seems to be in nursing, with male nurse (but not a 'gentleman nurse').

I guess OP, you could write to the head teacher and request clarification on whether the visiting dentist was of peerage, and would any special protocol be required of the children.

But do address them as a Male headmistress... ;)