"Boys can like beautiful things, too!”

[TheFallenMadonna]

I read this and thought of MN...

www.theatlantic.com/amp/article/562232/

"not every boy who puts on a dress is communicating a wish to be a girl. Too often gender dysphoria is conflated with the simple possibility that kids, when not steered toward one toy or color, will just like what they like, traditional gender expectations notwithstanding"

"When school officials and parents send a message to children that “boyish” girls are badass but “girlish” boys are embarrassing, they are telling kids that society values and rewards masculinity, but not femininity. They are not just keeping individual boys from free self-expression, but they are keeping women down too."

Yes, bang on. Gender stereotypes hurt women and men!!

I remember taking my young DS with me into Laura Ashley (it is quite a few years ago, obviously ) and they were into their late spring/early summer season. We walked down the stairs into the clothing section which was a sea of flowered dresses in pinks and greens and yellows, grouped together with their coordinating colours. DS (who never, ever gives an unsolicited opinion) looked down and gasped in amazement and said "Mummy, it looks beautiful!" It was pretty stunning. He was old enough to realise he wasn't going to wear any though although we have him on film in a Laura Ashley dress as Hermia in his school GCSE English project

I've read this article before; I really like it. It does reiterate to me though, as the mother or both a daughter and a son, that to some extent we really do include men/boys in our feminism. Not only do we need to raise our daughters to know that stereotypically male behaviours/jobs/preferences are open to them, we also need to teach our sons the reverse; or that which is stereotypically female will continue to be seen as of lower value, and both men and women will continue to be bound by the damaging patriarchal hierarchy of gendering.

My youngest son when he was little used to tell me off if my shoes didn't match my outfit ! Even now as a grown man his sense of style is way better than mine. He used to love dressing up in my shoes and jewelry etc. He has grown into a lovely sensitive bloke even though I say it myself!

we really do include men/boys in our feminism
But it is in direct conflict with feminism to include males because of their typical demands of feminism.

(If feminism doesn’t cure all men's problems what's the point in it)

There is absolutely a gap in the market for a gender equality movement that can discuss openly why women and men are treated so differently. Feminism is highlighting this gap but not filling it.

Most young transitioned such as JG and PL were sent strong messages by their parents that it's wrong for males to like anything perceived s "feminine" and they were abused (toys taken away in both cases) by the parents.
If it were more accepting for boys to like typically feminine things or if indeed there were no such thing as typically female or typically male anything, then maybe no one would need to undergo irreversible medical lifelong "treatment" when there's nothing physiologically wrong with them.

theinconstantgardener

But it is in direct conflict with feminism to include males because of their typical demands of feminism.

I'm not saying we do what men want, I'm saying we address the problems women face and sometimes the solution requires our solving a problem that hurts men too. It may be what men want (to be free of the rigid stereotype of masculinity), but it is what women need - for our emancipation - so if that means taking action which helps men achieve this I think I'm game.

A good time for this I think...

THAT is brilliant!!