Just watching towards the end - Jossy and Fay, I'm a bit discombobulated (don't think you're here on this thread but just posing the question). You're pretty much on board with people with penises = shouldn't be in women's only spaces.
But one of you in particular - because you hadn't had your surgery at 21, but were presenting as a woman (debatable what that means if you take away gender stereotypes) you should be in women's only spaces because it's dangerous for you elsewhere, even in a hypothetical third space.
This is the problem. How do you square the two? You don't feel safe around people with penises. At the time you still have a penis. So you want to be in women's spaces (cos third-spaces aren't safe and attract the 'wrong kind' of people).
But you have a penis. Therefore, as you acknowledge, many of the people around you (females) don't want to be around a penis.
Round and round - I get why it's a problem for you, but it presents a problem for females too.