Feminism and STRESS

[NameChangedForThisQ]

My eyes have been opened quite recently on feminism and the oppression of women. By Mumsnet

I am having a bit of a hard time now as I am seeing how much is wrong. I am seeing misogyny everywhere. Double standards. It goes on and on and on and gets to me a lot. Everywhere you look it is there...

I had this realisation many years ago about racism and that was a very aggravating experience too.

Do I have to just wait this out?

Maybe my circle will change. Friends etc. I put some feminist posts on FB yesterday and scared myself a bit. It feels like I'm coming out of an illusion into reality and my whole view on EVERYTHING is changing.

As often quoted here

The truth will set you free. But first it will piss you off.

I think what helps is when you start to realise all the stuff you have internalised because that you can work on and solve without anyone else. And that sort of raises you above all the sexist shit that surrounds you and you can look objectively, to a degree, without it stressing you so much.

Altho realising the amount you have internalised will scare and frustrate you in equal measures.

Its quite liberating too.

I no longer listen to men drone on. And on. And on. While my designated role is to stand there and be impressed. When I was younger I used to smile and listen and ask questions (I almost always knew the answer to) to make them feel good. Now I just leave. Its great.

And I challenge things now no problem.

Embrace it.

Unpacking a lifetime of conditioning is hard work. Be as kind to yourself as you would be to someone else.

Oh god, he’s is it liberating. Annoying but liberating.

And the glorious feeling when you are among people who get it and you can speak freely.

Sadly i dont think ive ever been with other women and been able to speak truely openly and honestly about it. The socialization is still there, I've been shamed for doing woman wrong to many times to keep trying and I can't keep hearing NAMALT.

I am quite radical and capitalism crital so I get i'm off putting

OP, you’ve just described me. I’ve learnt so much over the last few weeks and I’m full of rage and fear and anxiety. I’m hoping it’s going to level out into an I won’t take any shit and I won’t torture myself for it kind of assertiveness.

I’ve become steadily more of a radical feminist over the past ten years or so, and I often (only half-jokingly) remark that feminism has ruined my life.

So many of the books, films, TV programmes and music that I used to love - ruined. People I used to admire - idiots. Jokes I used to find funny - not so much.

Welcome to the club.

It feels like I'm coming out of an illusion into reality and my whole view on EVERYTHING is changing.

Yep it is very confronting and hard to bear at times - it's like waking up in southern USA 100 years ago and realising I am one of those black female slaves - except no one else seemingly sees that and can't see the oppressive system at play nor it's impact on me. It's very discombobulating.

As Bewilderness said - be very gentle with yourself and do lots of self care - the unrelenting shock can be too much sometimes.

The good news is you're now part of a great courageous group of women globally who are the contemporary suffragettes - and whose collective wisdom is awesome in its depth and profoundness- this is what men are afraid of!!

The day you wake up and realise that Pretty Woman is not a feel good film.

Not sure about the slave comparison. I’m pretty sure that was a hell of a lot worse.

oh yes Pretty Woman - which my year 9 school class all watched together in the classroom at the end of the year. WT actual F is what I now think about that.

I'm trying to think of good feminist shows/books/websites I can post for you.

open.spotify.com/user/katyworley/playlist/6jL7wLNsqJVbDhdCfjXw0k?si=P4W7Q_wAQUS-JD41qCfTRg

Here is a Mumsnet radical playlist that you can have a nice shouty sing along to.

guiltyfeminist.com/episodes/

Here is a comedy feminist podcast that I LOVE. It always makes me chuckle and go - yeah - me too, I thought that was just me!

Will have a think of some more things - are you on Netflix/Amazon OP?

Anyway - Welcome to the club!

THIS show. It's not out in the UK yet even thought it's made by BBC. It's written by Phobe Waller-Bridge who also wrote the comedy Fleabag and it's the best TV show I have seen in years.

Killing Eve brings a new energy to the well-worn game of cat-and-mouse staged by many a murder mystery: this time, both the assassin and the spy are women, the former played with savage wit by Jodie Comer, the latter by a keen, unwavering, and often very funny Sandra Oh

www1.watch-series.io/series/killing-eve-season-1/season

MrsTerry

DJ thanks for this! Music is something that has really been pissing me off especially as where I live only plays music about shake your bum bum ffs so this certainly helps