Finding/ starting radfem groups

[Merchfach]

I'm just back from a long weekend away with a group of women, most of whom would call themselves feminists, whom I've known for several years. I didn't see Genderquake so when some of the younger women (30s) started talking about it I stayed out of the generally pro-trans conversation until one of them said that Germaine Greer ought to be silenced. I piped up to say that she held a valid point of view that represented many women and that I found it worrying to hear women trying to silence other women. One of the younger ones said: 'You'll be saying transwomen aren't women next' and I agreed that I would. It was downhill from there. At some point I was accused of misgendering someone and two young women walked out shouting that I was hateful and should be ashamed of myself. I asked a third party to mediate so that we could see if we had any common ground that we could build from and was told the young women would not discuss this subject with me. So, no debate. There's a surprise!

Most of the other women don't understand why what I said was so offensive but assume I must have said something dreadful to warrant such a response from educated and on the whole pleasant young women. I don't imagine I'll be invited to participate in this group again which saddens me.

I don't feel bad for saying what I think but I do feel battered and there's a tiny part of me wondering whether I've got this all wrong. I know I'll bounce back and there are a couple of people I'm in touch with on line who'll help me do that. But what I could really do with now is a local radfem group: women whom I could meet up with for some eye contact and a coffee and a reassurance that I'm not the nazi dinosaur the handmaidens say I am.

I've googled for radical feminist groups in my area and found nothing. There's a feminist group at a university some distance away but I have a suspicion that it'll be full of handmaidens. If you're a member of a real rather than virtual group, how did you find each other? What should I google for? Any ideas on how to start something up?

It might be that there are GC groups near you but they're wary of openly identifying themselves as such. I go to exactly such a group - we don't discuss it much on our FB page because of the student/libfem contingency but once we get together in person, the gloves come off! Oddly enough, the libfems seem to have little interest in getting involved beyond sniping at other people online, so we tend to get left alone.

I managed to connect with an awesome group of local GC/radical feminists when I attended a 'We Need to Talk...' event. Before that, I'd searched online but found nothing. We mostly discuss in a very secret online group, but meet up occasionally - I can't quite put into words how empowering (not in a libfem sense!) it feels to be able to discuss issues face-to-face, to share information, ideas, tactics & strategies etc.

I've lost (in some cases abandoned) quite a few former friends due to my GC views, but over time have been able to be increasingly open about my concerns with a couple of my closest friends, and while they're not (yet) willing to publicly 'out' themselves as I more or less have, they're privately outraged & completely support my perspective over self-ID etc. (Rather than 'telling' them why I think as I do, I suggested they google a few terms such as 'TERF is a slur', 'cotton ceiling' etc, asked them to let me know what they thought about what they'd read, and left it at that - seemed like a better strategy to allow them to discover for themselves, rather than trying to convince them of my position...)

Guess I'm just trying to reassure OP & PPs that it is possible to build a GC support network over time, especially as more & more women are now beginning to realise the implications of self-ID.

Thanks, that's reassuring. I'm practically back to myself again after my pummelling. What really helped me was looking at the stuff on suicide figures. One of the women said that if I could ignore the terrifying suicide statistics for trans people then I couldn't possibly expect anyone to respect my views: I was contributing to trans deaths by my hatefulness. Having been socialised to be horrified at the thought of being hateful, I was really worried that I was missing something. But the Transgender Trend commentaries and some of the other research (all of which has question marks hanging over it, I realise) don't support her statement at all. That reading took me off in the direction of exploring other research into the mental health issues that many trans people also suffer — and also autism, particularly in girls. So I know a lot more than I did and feel firmer on my ground.

Will still be looking out for or trying to create a real-life group, though. Nothing better than being able to say what you think without fear in RL.

If anyone else is from the Brighton area, and are interested in forming a local radfem group, please DM me.

(Have NC’d).

Manchester rad fems I started a thread...
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3251279-Manchester-Feminists-Wanna-meet-up

Hi Merchfach, I've sent you a PM

Merch, a bit far away for a meet up, but if you're near the capital, give me a shout :)

I'm based in Guildford. There doesn't appear to be a single feminist group here, even at the university. Would love to meet up in RL. We could even use my house if pushed. I say pushed because my house is tiny and very untidy. And I smoke. Even if I don't smoke during meetings the smell will remain.

OP, meant to add that I really feel for you. What a crap experience.

Swansea in South West Wales is convenient for me.

In light of recent developments on MN, feeling that maybe getting together in real-life, if that is possible, may be useful.

Attending the Cardiff WPUK meeting, back in April, certainly inspired me.

You don’t have to wait for WPUK to hold a meeting - start your own. :)

I'm in Bath