A distasteful debate has been raging in the UK recently about ultra gay men's rights. What should be a given in today's progressive times is now unfortunately up for debate. For those who have been living under a rock recently here are some definitions:
ultra gay man: a gay man who is exclusively attracted to women. Although he may have the sexual orientation that has commonly been associated with a straight man, he is a gay man
cismo(sexual): a gay man whose sexual orientation corresponds to what has previously been thought of as homosexual
Recently, ultra gay men have had yet another cross to bear. Some so-called Gay Men's Rights activists have not been tolerant and welcoming to those who have been broadening the bandwidth of what it means to be a gay man. Cismos like Oliver Carver have tried to deny ultra gay men's very existence by stating, "There are gay men from all walks of life, and along all the spectrums of looks and fashion sense. Ultra gay men are reinforcing stereotypes of the foppish preening gay man. Some gay men are like that and some are not. What makes us gay men is the fact that we are men who are sexually attracted to other men."
Although, I feel uncomfortable giving a platform to such a bigot as Carver, in the interests of a balanced article I put this point to ultra activist Dune Hamlet who noted that lots of gay men are actually doing gay all wrong. "Lots of gay men now look no different to straight men. Ultra gay men look far more fabulous. No doubt that is why they hate us."
Another hateful opinion from (a very small and bigoted subset of) cismos is the assertion that ultra gay men are not more marginalised and oppressed than gay men. Oliver Carver continues his hateful diatribe by saying, "Straight men are the ones who have been beating us for generations and now we're meant to call them gay men and welcome them in our gay clubs? Straight men are free to dress and act in whatever stereotypically gay way they want. What they should not be allowed to do however is to demand to be called gay men and given the rights of gay men because they are not gay men. It's not ultraphobic. We don't want them because they are straight not because they are ultras."
Such sophistry is no match for intellectual giant and astronomically successful columnist, Joan Owens who opined, "As a lesbian, I am all too aware of the discrimination that minority groups face. There are shades of Section 28 here all over again. Ultra exclusionary cismos will be on the wrong side of history. Can the ultra exclusionary cismos not see that they hold the very same hateful beliefs that the Alt-right hold? Ultra gay men are gay men and if you say otherwise my Mum will tell you off."
The ultra gay poster boy and rising political star, Liam Pettikin adds, "Are not black gay men gay? Are not disabled gay men gay? Then surely it is only ultraphobia to state that ultra gay men are not gay. Ultraphobia cannot be tolerated and must be eradicated. When I feel down I am often reminded of Martin Luther King. I want to be accepted as a gay man for the content of my character, not for who I sleep with. I don't understand what this obsession with who gay men are sleeping with is in aid of. To be honest it's all a bit rapey. For years cismos have been arguing that their sexual orientation should not be a barrier to employment, marriage rights etc and now they reduce what being a gay man is to his sexual orientation. Such a reductive attitude is no good for their cause. It's tragic really."
Ultra exclusionary hardliner, Dave Hill, has been trying to deny the existence of ultra gay men. His offensive blog states, "We are not bigots. Gay men have known oppression for a long time. Gay men have a shared experience of wondering what harrassment we will face when we hold a man's hand in public for the first time, wondering how we will be treated when we come out to family and friends. Ultra gay men do not have the same lived experiences. They are a distinct group, worthy of the same human rights as everyone else; just not gay men's rights. It is nonsensical for an ultra gay man to state he is gay. Being attracted solely to women and not to men is the very definition of the opposite of being a gay man."
This old-fashioned and some would say childishly pedantic view of what being a gay man means was roundly refuted by Sebastian Fabiscle of UltraNet. "From a very young age I have loved fashion and had an impeccable grooming style. Who is anyone else to define who I am? Cismos have grown up with cismo privilege. Imagine knowing you're gay but being told by every dictionary and person alive that because I fancy women and not men that I am not a gay man! It's literal violence. Studies have now shown many similarities between the brains of cismos and ultra gay men. I know I am a gay man and bigots who do not understand the new science that is being looked into all the time are not going to tell me otherwise. I hope they enjoy their erasure."
There is some hope on the horizon. Brave ultra gay men have finally been given a chance to speak and are making progress in representing gay men in gay men's charities, awards and sporting events.
There is still a long way to go, however. As one ultra gay man dolefully told us, "There is still a lot of ultraphobia. When I tried to organise a female stripper in the Gay Bar for my stag do, a lot of the cismos were very mean about it. They suggest homoerotic literature in my Gay Book Club which makes me feel excluded. Some gay men find the idea of being sexually involved with a man a real turn-off and I don't see why they can't choose books that don't ever mention the sexual aspect of gay men's lives. Real gay men's activism means including all gay men, not just those who are sexually attracted to men. There is also talk of cismo history. That is not all gay men's history and should be banned. We can't feel comfortable in the toilets of gay clubs as the gay sex that goes on there is triggering - a blatant reminder that no matter how gay we are, we were born with brains telling us that other men aren't sexually attractive to us.
Ultra gay men have to worry about being beaten up all the time. Although crime statistics show it is heterosexual men who have committed all these crimes, we know it is the cismos with their non-acceptance of us that is causing them to act like this."
Hopefully, we will be able to draw a line under this sorry business next year when a new law comes into force. Hate speech such as "Straight men aren't gay men" and "Gay men don't fancy women" will be illegal and all cases investigated by Hate Crime Squads. This sort of "debate" will lie in the archives along with other shameful moments in human history.
There are of course also ultra lesbians but noone's interested in them.