Can we not pretend this is something "new".
I've been on the side or touch lines of club rugby in Ulster for over 40 years (argghh) Brother, Father and Son play(ed).
"Ladies" were always asked to leave post match drinks after a while back in the 80's when things got bawdy, and the veneer of the gentleman's game was about to be somewhat tarnished. Brother attended another big rugby school in east Belfast allegedly a cut above, an all male preserve and the following Harry Enfield parody about sums them up, I have strong memories of my youth with blokes like this about:
I never got around to worshipping at the altar of the first XV, but I had a giggle at the comment. Many friends did, some treated well others like an accessory. Wandering hands at that age were par for the course, so I'm not going to blame rugby players alone for that.
It was ever thus, rugby players and "totty". It may have become more polarised of late, but the seeds were certainly set back in the day today's blazer wearing administrators were playing.
Rugby is a big deal in NI, it's a society thing too. Rugby is old school, and hasn't moved on really (with the exception of women's rugby - Heifer comments anyone ? www.bbc.co.uk/sport/rugby-union/43214108 ) There is still a play hard , drink hard, party even harder element to it. Practical "jokes" that would make your eyes water are endemic and are tantamount to bullying. From putting deep heat in each other's jock straps through to debaggings and far worse it all leads to a culture where the bigger the jape the funnier it allegedly is but often there is some poor youngster going home and crying on his Mum's shoulder trying desperately to fit in with his new team mates. "I'm hard", "I play rugby" is a macho sign of respect in the all male circles. We need and God I don't know who "we" in this case is need to make these lads see that actually now pissing in your mates beer glass in public does not make you man, it makes you a bloody idiot and stop turning a "blind eye".
How? I have no idea where to start. You think you've tried to bring kids up to respect women, you think your brother too will treat women with the same respect as his family. They then meet this culture, are drawn into it, and really I haven't a bloody clue who they become then. I've seen the carnage in a rugby club bar at closing time, it's not pleasant.