This is not the most important thing ever but what do you think ? Re dress codes

[BasiliskStare]

This is my second foray into the feminism boards . I am sticking my courage to the sticking post and saying something.

DS ( early 20s ) now has to go to some things where there is a dress code) . Not terribly many but he does. The thing he said was " it is so much easier for men - because things tend to be described as in " dinner jacket " " lounge suit & tie " - so whatever you think about those dress codes - you know what to do. , He said it is harder for women to know what to turn up in. I know this is probably a very trite post , but Ds did just say , it makes it harder for women . Because they have to make a judgment on what the men are wearing ( unless they have been given specific instructions)

So in the grand scheme of things not the most important , but just a thing he made me think about.

I am not going to lose sleep over this , but something Ds & I were chatting about and made me think

Lass you are strengthening my resolve to wear a trouser suit to an upcoming wedding. I do wonder, if it will be seen as trying to make a point though. I don't want to use a relation's wedding to make a point.

lass

We just went out for dinner

No idea why she wanted the women to wear dresses in particular

Work want me to wear a dress as well...im not bloody doing it their either

(Although i could be tempted for the right dress )

I don't possess a single item of formal wear which fits any of those categories.

Haven't you posted before about having clothes specially tailored? I know you've posted about your personal style and the quality of clothes many times. For those of us on a much smaller budget, stuck buying things off the rack in primarni, lot's of women's clothes are uncomfortable, or poorly made, lack pockets, are restrictive or have weird cross over straps there are a nightmare to get into and get right.
This is one of those cases where budget - and time to look for the exact right item - really can make a difference.

Plus - the amount of enjoyment women get from clothes will change the way they see this. I like elegant or pretty clothes, but I hate shopping, and I hate putting on makeup and I hate doing my hair (plus I'm crap at it). What is a joy for some women (and good luck to them) is a right pain in the arse for me. Men - on the other hand - whack a suit on, bit of hair gel, and they're done. Every. Single. Time.

rogue

Last wedding i went to i wore 'trousers" and a nice top

They do have some lovely weddingy jumpsuits at the moment in Phase 8

Lass you are strengthening my resolve to wear a trouser suit to an upcoming wedding. I do wonder, if it will be seen as trying to make a point though. I don't want to use a relation's wedding to make a point

I never wore it to a wedding but one of the few pairs of trousers I owned was a fake St.Laurent "smoking" trouser suit- namely a dinner suit for women. I used to wear it with a black bow tie, white shirt and cuff - links.

It was probably a bit outré for a wedding (although having said that a couple of years ago I was staying in a hotel in Switzerland where a wedding of what seemed to be very arty/media types was going on and one female guest was wearing a tuxedo)

I don't see any reason not to wear a trouser suit to a wedding.

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 Thank you so much. I’ve never heard of phase 8. I’m in that stuck in between age. 50, but hate the flowery middle aged stuff, but have the floppy arms of a middle aged woman. I’m a size 10/12 but everything is in a different place now, thank you gravity. 😬 Thise jump suits are beautiful. Just one question. Do I have to take most of it to go for a pee?

Men -on the other hand - whack a suit on, bit of hair gel, and they're done
Women can be 'done' in exactly the same way, if they choose. There's no law saying women have to wear make up or 'do' their hair, or do anything else, unless your job has a dress code that specifies it, and then presumably you know that before you take the job.

Any of these would be perfectly fine at a wedding.

Shop Jumpsuits | Formal & Casual Jumpsuits | Phase Eight
www.phase-eight.com/fcp/categorylist/garment/jumpsuit

Or this suit
Rodeo Jacket Tailored Blazer - REISS
www.reiss.com/p/tailored-blazer-womens-rodeo-jacket-in-white-black/?category_id=1129&gaEeList=W%20-%20Suiting

Rufus , Rogue and others , I have been to a wedding in a women's version of a tuxedo - all fine - although yep , probably adhering to mens' dress. But I feel happier in trousers .

I have no problem with what anyone wants to wear

My point was describing a dress code in purely men's terms. ( and again sorry said before ) Ds said it to me ( he is 21)

Ha ha Thanks Can I borrow it !

Rogue Many years ago a good friend & my SIL both wore trousers to my wedding - they looked great and just like themselves but celebratory iyswim - that said - we had not specified a dress code so not directly relevant to my post - but do it - I am sure it will be fabulous.

Upstartcrow - yes I think you see my point - - yes to get a dinner jacket / suit does take some up front investment ( although a friend of mine got her son one in Primark at modest expense , - also a plain black suit will get by with a bow tie , so yes , it needs doing but then it passes muster. ) My son's point it once you have your black tie thing - it's easy. Or a lounge suit ( which may be your interview / 6th form college suit) .

And his female friends can wear their interview suits etc but sometimes you do want to wear things appropriately. Of course or indeed not go at all if not your thing. - I suppose what he had highlighted to me was that an invitation normally expresses dress code in the sense of what the men will wear. That's my point. And Thank you PP's - good for him for saying it. Won't change the world , but I am grateful he does think occasionally like this.

Right - I have been brave. Probably time to get back to more important matters

I think it's interesting that your son said that, and I'd agree with him for many women. I worked out my own methods for dressing for these things and wear what I want and like to buy things I know I'll wear again.

One thing I've noticed is many men (Dh and others) I know hate the tie idea and get annoyed about the strictness for them, whereas actually in reality I think it's becoming more flexible for women as style is so varied.

( I have an art background and that environment definitely trains you to be subversive in your dress codes from early on aka not give a shit/ avoid mainstream)

One of the young girls who came to my wedding (7/8) wore a Tux :)