DD school asked about "gender" - what shall I say?

[loveyouradvice]

Just a form... Gender: Male/Female - sent to me by one of Deputy Heads as DD singled out for special thing.

I am keen to write to them... they see themselves as a leading mixed secondary, and are a Stonewall school.

At the moment, Im saying this - but I think I could improve it dramatically - any thoughts? My goal - is they at least talk about it - and ideally start to think about what they are doing!

^I have amended the form - I believe you want to know my daughter’s sex - which is female. Gender I understand is a social construct - and with teenagers often very fluid. I do not think it is appropriate for a school to ask my daughter about her gender, and I see it as an invasion of her privacy unless it is something she cares to share with you.

I know that sex and gender have become conflated in our current society - with many unintended consequences. As an institution that values learning and reflection, I do hope you reconsider your approach. I am sure this is something you have talked about internally and I would very much like to understand your reasoning.^

Darn ... those were meant to be italics... what did I do wrong? I thought that was what the little hats ^^ did!

I don't see what's wrong this asking for her gender? Even with all the stuff going on in society recently about gender, everyone has some opinion of what they are whether they are male/female/fluid/non binary so what's wrong with asking as most people have an answer. Even if that person doesn't know their gender that's an answer in itself 'I don't know'

Genuine question btw^
Not trying to cause offence but not fully understanding this

👌

“Even if that person doesn't know their gender that's an answer in itself 'I don't know'”

But they do know their sex. So why not ask for that? Or just don’t ask.

Unfortunately for women I don't think 'gender as a construct' is constructed by an individual woman either - it is imposed on us as an sterotype about what we are like based on our sex. Not something I would expect a school to be asking about at all.

whatisausername

I think it's more useful to know the child's sex than some random aspects of their personality. Gender doesn't seem to have a single meaning - sometimes people mean sex, but think 'gender' is a more polite way to say it.

loveyouradvice
if you want italics you need to put a ^ at the beginning and end of each paragraph. Your note to the school looks fine to me.

I don't know . That just about sums up the full nonsense of it...

Knowing what sex you are is perfectly adequate.

Honestly, I think you're wasting your time, and many forms and surveys use gender simply to mean sex. I think it's almost a prudish wish to avoid writing "sex".

Choose your battles I reckon.

What's the difference?

I have amended the form that asks about gender. I believe you want to know my daughter’s sex - which is female. Gender is a social construct; sex is a biological reality.

I know that sex and gender have become conflated in our current society - with many unintended consequences. As an institution that values learning and reflection, I do hope you reconsider your approach.

loveyouradvice, I agree with you.

The important, basic thing is - what sex your child is. Which you point out clearly in your reply. Rightfully so. A matter of fact.

"Gender" is a vague social construct that varies and has varied and continues to vary over different areas, times and ideologies.

Stick to your position!

It would be useful for a school to know her sex in the event of a medical emergency.
I don’t see how it would be useful to keep any information about her gender on file.

I don’t conflate sexuality and gender identity but a lot of people and organisations do - because of the LGBT umbrella afforded it. So I would play dumb and ask if they are planning to also ask details of her sexuality too.

What are they holding this information for?

I doubt they'd see your point. They'd probably take it as constructive criticism and add "if you're not ready to disclose your gender, that's totes ok #woke" to their form or something.

I think it's good, but as OohMavis says it could be worth pressing home the point that they need to know your daughters sex for medical and safeguarding reasons. They have no need to know her gender.

if the options are male/female then they are asking about sex, but they are using the word gender because it is more 'polite' I don't thnk they have got as far as thinking about kids 'identifying' as one thing or another.

they just don't want to see this-

Sex: male/female (kid answers- 'yes please')

So I think I would just put 'female'