Other people's kids

[MashLover]

Do you feel like your the only one who bothers to teach your kids about feminism?

Fed up of trying to teach my daughter that she's not restricted by her sex and she can like whatever she wants and achieve anything a boy can. But then she'll come home and tell me that one of her friends have said she's a girl so she can't. Or some other stupid comment. She had a new black 'nightmare before christmas' hat. She was asked 4 times why she's wearing a boys hat. Luckily most of the time she doesn't listen and does her own thing which I'm so proud of her for but occasionally she does listen, she does get upset.

My son is 4 and goes on about girls things and boys things and what girls do and what boys do ect. I can't get through to him because he hears all these things from other kids at school.

Do you ever just feel like you're fighting a loosing battle?

One of my friends once apologised for not having any “girl toys” for my toddler daughter to play with at her house, as she only had a son. Other friends then chipped in with how interesting it is that all the girls just want to play with dolls and pink and being quiet and the boys like cara and monsters and running round and being noisy, even though we’ve all brought them up equally, just goes to show doesn’t it etc etc etc.

Sigh.

It definitely feels like a minority pursuit. My DD (4) said was refusing to play with her brother, only me, yesterday because she insisted the game was only for girls. I said there no such hing as boy or girl games, just games, asked her (at preschool, of course) who said that to her and she named one of the boys. She's said before that the boys have said she can't play whatever-it-was because it was a boys game. It's so sad and like you I feel it's an uphill struggle. She's a defiant little thing though so I'm fairly sure if push comes to shove she'd stand her ground and join in anyway. Once my French is good enough (I'm in France, obvs.) it's the kind of thing I will happily mention to the teacher!

I’m keeping my sons away from grandparents at the moment because they insist on buying them ‘boy clothes’ or ‘boy toys’. Ds1 (2 years old) wanted to play with his cousins doll and was told no, so I bought him his own and have kept them at a distance ever since. They’re 1 and 2 fgs!

Husbands parents shroud my niece in everything pink and dolls and won’t let her play with the bin truck they have at their house and it’s just cringe. Can’t be around it.

Btw I’m not ungrateful, they are lucky to have grandparents that buy them things and love them and want to see them etc. But my eldest loves his toy vacuum and his dolly and I don’t want them projecting on him right now.

Andcim a bad mother because I let DS1 load the washing machine. I can’t take it anymore!!!!

breathe

Andcim a bad mother because I let DS1 load the washing machine. sorry but that is very very funny from a distance
My mother thinks my DH should be sainted for pushing a vacuum

The boys v.s girls stuff is one (of many) reason(s) we home ed. Council swimming lessons seem to be full of it though!

Waddle we are thinking home ed also. I can’t stomach the boy/girl pink/blue stuff. I just want them to be children for a while.

Hehe will he be receiving his invite from the queen for a knighthood any day now?!

I dont think its the same everywhere and its not just the other parents I think the schools have a big responsability, ultimately you will have the biggest impact though so just keep pushing it.
Where we are now you are just as likely to see a little boy with long hair in a dress as you are a little girl but in the kids old school 'you run/throw/catch etc like a girl' seemed to be an appropraite insult that not only did the teachers allow but sometimes joined in with.

you run/throw/catch etc like a girl

One of my nephews said that to the other in front of my DD, who was two at the time. I gave the two boys a quick lesson on sexism then called my BiL out on it (he's a mysoginist twat and they're hearing that exact shit from him, I've no doubt) - and my sis backed me up, bless her. Losing battle with the Dad but my DD is mad about her big boy cousins so this aunty will be making sure they do better!

My boys are at a single sex school and one of the interesting things has been the total lack of talk from them of “that’s for girls” because they get to do everything. Dance is the most over subscribed after school club, they all love gardening and cooking lunch clubs etc

I assume that girls schools are similar.

The school is going co-ed and it will be interesting to see if clubs and options split along sex lines.

Not all the schools are the same. Ours just celebrated International Women’s Day and the children’s thoughts, who the most inspiring women were for them was really interesting. They examined what phrases like ‘throw like a girl’ means. Put this with a picture of Jess Ennis-Hill competing.

I try to show by example and keep saying ‘you can do whatever you want’.