breastfeeding advert inNorhtern Ireland, gives me the rage

[Badweekjustgotworse]

Ok I know its coming from a place of good intentions but honestly every time this ad comes on it gives me the rage.

I've been trying to unpick why and I think it boils down to the fact that the message seems to be, you shouldn't apologise for breastfeeding... but the only way they could get that message across was to contrast it with all the ways that it IS ok to apologise. FFS women are so socialised to apologise for fucking everything and heres an advert that appears to sanction that culture when it should be empowering women to stop apologising for being female.

Rage.

If I was in any way tech savvy I'd love to do a pistake version and youtube it to highlight the stupidity of the delivery of the message. any suggestions for a takedown?

I’m torn on this. On the one hand, I completely see your point about this ad and parenting/mothering and women being socialised to apologise; on the other, I quite like sorrys and use them liberally as I go about my business.

I think the problem is largely in the delivery, in this case. Vigorous, cheery sorrys from a diverse range of people doing non-parenting things would’ve made a better contrast, imo.

It’s a shame, I agree, because its heart’s in the right place.

Sorry, I like it

Agree the delivery of the message is woeful. That wish washy girl irritates me no end.
Anyone had Catherine pop up on their Instagram feed, not clear if she's an actual breastfeeding mum now or was, I'm sure she's doing a great job but the women portrayed are not the type to reach the mums they probably want to encourage to breast feed surely.

I do take your point but I think the message of the ad is that she says sorry over the tiniest little thing yet doesn’t apologise for breastfeeding. She’s meant to be a bit wish washy with all the apologies because then it has more impact when she doesn’t apologise for breastfeeding.

It’s not perfect, but I don’t think it’s awful either.

There is a particularly low rate of breast feeding in nothern ireland ...and also a tongue in cheek culture of the Irish constantly apologIsing ....

Maybe it only translates here...I didn't find it at all strange...glad to see we have actually started to publicly advertise breastfeeding after all these years..

I also wonder if the context of NI makes a difference. Low rates of breastfeeding, religious fanaticism and emphasis on modesty, Ireland's relationship with the formula industry etc. Having lived in England and in NI, I see a lot of differences wrt breastfeeding. I'm in NI now and none of my colleagues breastfed (professional women aged between 25 and 45) nor did my mother, any of her 5 sisters or 5 sisters in law. I don't know what message would get through here.

It's a really difficult one.

I get your point that it shows how much women / mothers apologise for even existing. On the other hand it flips it over to this is the one thing you mustn't apologise for - but so many feel they must.

A film that came up next by joey salad (social experiment) was quite shocking in how vocally disgusted people were when a mother in the US bf near them in public, and she apologised profusely.

I wonder if it shines a light on how much women apologise as it emphasises it. It made me think, actually, I need to cut back on that generally!

That simpering voice makes me want to throw something at the tv. I couldn’t care less what they’re advertising, she’s just really irritating.

Well on that note ..I'm sure she'll feel the need to apologise for her simpering voice too...

And women wonder why women feel the need to apologise???..

Irony there somewhere...

And women wonder why women feel the need to apologise

Catch a grip. Not liking an irritating advert because the character grates on me, has fuck all to do with women apologising. 🙄

Ironic however that it's a breastfeeding advert of a women that grates on you...

Any male adverts that grate equally??

Anything that normalises breastfeeding has to be a good thing.

Looking at all the occasions when she apologises, I think a dad pushing his baby would likely do the same. She's not really apologising with any sincerity, it's just a custom, people do say sorry a lot. I don't know, maybe I'm wrong. Sorry!

That Joey Salads video...I wonder how long they spent filming that to find those outrageous responses. They were also being a bit ostentatious about it didn't you think? I have fed three babies everywhere you can imagine and in several countries and haven't had any bad reactions - not openly shared anyway. She was being a bit "are you seeing this? It's my breast - does it bother you? I hope so!"

I suppose it depends where these experiments take place. A cafe in a middle-class part of London or a sleepy mid-western town in the US.

I do agree with you @Tommytucked.

If you look at the profile of many third world countries that have been targeted by formula companies at the point of social development thenvironment northern ireland fits that profile..

My mother still has my hospital card which is printed by cow and gate in the 70s...a time of political discord war rationing and poverty...

The Irish were seen as backward and under developed...formula companies took full advantage of this ....goes back to the victorian era of science equating to superiority and nature belonging to the peasants...

Northern Ireland by most westernised standards is only in the infancy of womens rights...

I personally know a lot of timid women who have been hindered in their development and put off breastfeeding for exactly the comments expressed above...

The context in NI? For reference I’m in Northern Ireland born here and grew up here and returned after uni and a few years of travelling /work, so to clarify I’m Northern itish and I think it’s awful. There is a culture of being apologetic here.... but from my experience it’s women not men who apologise and this only reinforces it, there’s nothing diversity about the message in this ad. It’s not saying, oh look at this typical northern itish mother apologising for being a mother, Fuck that, the message is, of look at this Northern Irishwoman apologising for everything, that’s fine, but just don’t apologise for breastfeeding.

nightshade if you’re looking for irony in a comment I think this one is a better example from coyocan sorry, I like it
(I really hope she was being sarcastic though)

And the more I think about Ymir the more irritated I am by their choice of disapproving person at the end. In my experience (and I breast fed... in Northern Ireland) middle aged women were not the ones who ever gave funny looks.

On the flip side, all the stuff she’s apologising for us stuff any childcarer could be doing, man or woman.

The one thing she isn’t apologising for is someone only women can do.

I quite like it.

nigjtshade there’s plenty of things that grate me, but I posted about this particular one in the feminism board because I feel it’s a feminist issue, that women are socialised to be apologetic in general, moreso when it comes to motherhood and that this advert supports tha socialisation by normalising that behaviour. It may we’ll be attempting to normalise breastfeeding but it’s normalising the culture of women apologising for imposing, apologising for taking up space, apologising for existing. That’s my issue and it’s a feminist one, hence posting here....

Not gonna disagree with you @badweekgotworse

What decade were you born in nI and what was your social background ( that's a rhetorical question)!

Those who are comfortable with breastfeeding will breastfeed..

The adverts are usually aimed at promoting it to women who aren't or are too embarrassed to try it for whatever reason...

Lack of confidence poor body image and worrying about social norms are all up there in the reasons not to..

I imagine that's why the advertisers have chosen to go the route they have...

And to clarify I also have longterm breastfed in ni...am from ni ..have social worked in ni and been previously very involved in la leche ni...the la leche philosophyou would be one of support and encouragement to develop confidence and understanding..

Absolutely @badweekgotworse

I totally agree that it is a feminist issue...

Which needs to be understood in the context of the women and the historical background of their country. .

Which is why your post has brought forth strong views...

I can't speak for NI but in central Scotland it's always been middle/older women tutting and sharing their disgust . Not often 4/5 times in 4 years. That was the one thing that surprised me as I genuinely thought women would not give two hoots.

I agree if they had maybe mixed it up a bit and had others doing things to the main character that required a sorry then the message would be better and not just cementing the women should be sorry culture.

Do you think it will appeal to bf mums that are struggling with public feeding though? I think it might 🤷🏻‍♀️.

I say sorry for everything and it annoys the crap out of me.

Lol @mustang27

It must be a celt thing!!..

I even apologise for things that I havent done....maybe it's a subconscious self preservation ...developed at times in history when you needed to watch your back!!

nightshade

What’s your problem? I already stated I didn’t care what the advert was about. You know nothing about me and my attitude to women and breastfeeding. Get off your high horse and think about how you’re judging me a fucking radical feminist, that has probably done more for women in my 50yrs than you’ll do in a lifetime, over ONE comment. I’m permitted to dislike an advert without having to justify myself to you. You are the one with issues.

@positivelyperf

Not judging u at all....had no idea you were a radical feminist until you chose to tell me so..

Only expressing my own point of view which I presumed was the whole point of discussion..

But so as not to offend you...

I apologise...

Get it?

I don't see an issue with it. It shows a person generally apologising in day-to-day life in case of offence/irritation (I do it all the time) except for the one activity that they feel absolutely doesn't require apologising for. The person happens to be a woman as the activity is breastfeeding; I don't see it as making any assumed statements about women or mothers otherwise.

I don’t accept your disingenuous apology and you weren’t just expressing your point of view, you were making a personal attack. Big difference.

Get it?

Definitely a Celt thing.