How to talk with narcissists

[JellySlice]

This is interesting. I've just stumbled across it. Opinions?

I'm lucky that I have few narcissists in my life, so haven't had to deal with them. I'm a little bothered that the article is mostly Don'ts, rather than Dos. Maybe because the best thing to do with narcissists is to disengage. But when narcissists are driving political and cultural change then we have no option but to engage with them.

Interesting - I have had several in my life and have learnt how to deal with it (most of the time). You're right that disengaging helps, but maybe not here. This new situation is tricky.

Same rules for those in power I think but with one difference: it isn't enough for you to decide they are loons to be ignored, you have to convince other people too. Influential people in power can only have an impact if most people go along with them.

Disengage from narcissist, engage with normals to help them narcissist behaviours for what they are.

engage with normals to help them narcissist behaviours for what they are.

Like ManFridayy*.

Disengage from narcissist, engage with normals to help them see narcissist behaviours for what they are.

I’d add to this that as soon as they succeed in getting you angry enough to lose control, you’ve lost. They have narcissistic rage and you will never match it. Your anger is emotional and to them it’s a weakness to exploit and doing so gives them pleasure. Walk away before you lose it. They’re trying to make you look like the irrational one.

There’s nothing you can do with a narcissist apart from refusing to engage. They’re rather like the terminator in that they just don’t stop and keep going and going until everyone they turn their rage against is destroyed.

All you can do is hope they either find another target or die.

ugh, Narcs. One of the good things about getting older is you get a bit better at spotting them once you have recognised your first one! I thought the article had some good points.

Just talk about them and how great they are. Then leave.

That is an excellent guide.

Great guidelines - they could do with expanding into specifics e.g. if TIM says this, this is the rebuttal. Actual examples are needed.

Cluster B (NPDs etc) are black and white thinkers and are deluded, they will never accept they are wrong in their assertion they are a woman. So a TIM will argue to the death and attack & destroy anyone who threatens their delusion (as we have seen).

That's why it's better not to get embroiled with their assertions - as they are rabbit holes of delusion.

What these guidelines are saying, I think, are: use the law as a basis for arguing the necessity and imperative for women only spaces. And challenge TIMs about why they are not willing to respect women's boundaries and the law - give examples - use their words back at them. Why they won't let women's perspective be heard? Why do they condone violence against women as legitimate and legal? Why are they silent when they should be condemning violence? How is the use of a pronoun equivalent to a physical assault? Why are they, a minority of TIMS and not representative of all TIMs, ignoring the voices of "established" TIMs who say they do not want to encroach on women's spaces. Why are they not fighting for their own spaces? etc

Been thinking a lot about this and I agree with all of the above. It has already changed how I engage.

Excellent article - agree that specific examples would be good.

Good article.

And challenge TIMs about why they are not willing to respect women's boundaries and the law - give examples - use their words back at them. Why they won't let women's perspective be heard? Why do they condone violence against women as legitimate and legal?

Excellent questions, womanformerlyknownas.

Another salient question: why do self-professed 'transwomen' have so little empathy with the group of people they claim to 'identify' as?

@DonkeySkin why do self-professed 'transwomen' have so little empathy with the group of people they claim to 'identify' as?

Nailed it - they will of course ague that they have, but not with Transphobes such as ourselves……….

My suspicion is that TRAs hate and fear women because we are what they will never be.