Critequal I agree with your post. I don’t think the Tories are woman friendly particularly more than the other parties at all, their female PMs have tended to rise when there is economic and social shit to clean up after.
On the other hand I have hope that having a female PM is a great inspiration for girls. If not always great (dependent on that female PM’s policies..) for the adult women affected by the ruling party’s policies day-to-day in her life and work.
But then what a risk to a female PM it would be for her to be seen as putting in policies that are too pro-woman or pro- mother or pro-family. It would be her Emperors New Clothes movement- ‘but you’re noting but a woman!/mother!’ and she’d be out. Hence they always seem to have very male cabinets behind them. So the woman at the top is seen to have men’s agreement and backing.
I think anyway actually what we are talking about is the difference not between women vs men necessarily always, but often the differences between mothers vs everyone else.
I think being a Tory attracts a mix of political tribes, not all mutually exclusive.
These include those with a sense of alienation from the left from what they feel is its constant political personal policing, the libertarian side. IME these Tories are not less sexist at all in general but they can be happy to concede where an individual woman has proved her worth in terms of the job.
Just not at all happy if she then also wants any systematic protections or recognition of the systemic disadvantages she (and all women) faces from well, sexism. You know the type who dismiss women complaining of sexual harassment, assault and even rape of ‘well, that’s just bad sex that she regretted the next day’.
They are so obsessed with the political ideal individual freedom they are blind to the realities of oppression per class (of eg women.) and they also can’t see their own privilege and think everyone else is as free an actor as they feel and know themselves to be. So bad consequences (like not being able to get a job for example) are the just punishment of bad personal choices. Shrug shoulders.
Then there are those with a sense of history via their expensive public school education who venerate the ‘Virgin Queen’ model that Thatcher kind of transformed herself into. Those with a strong Christian religious background who gravitate towards the Tories will also appreciate the iconographic aspect of a singular woman leader who is not like other women, who has qualities that shine out above the mass of women, existing on a weird, special non-venal plane. Both of these groups also recognise today’s Queen Elizabeth as a hero which legitimises that idea somewhat and I worry what will happen when she, and her symbolic example has passed on.
I mean, think of a prominent Tory like Jacob Rees Mogg. Would a woman who has had that many kids ever have a cats chance of making it in politics, Conservative or any party? Fuck no.
She’d be shot down as a shit mother for not being at home and ignoring the demands of her kids’ and probably secretly hated for having said yes to sex that many times too, or something. There is not and can’t be any female equivalent of someone like him. Because the view of what (particularly) mothers should do and are for, is so rigid.
When I see the male politicians bigging it up about how much they love their families and how they sneak off from their powerful jobs to read their kids a bedtime story (I think Obama said he did this in the White House) they all get loads of love from the media for being fantastic human guys and making it easier for modern families and encouraging men to be dads and breaking down barriers and generally being bloody amazing heroes for taking a bit of time off to do something fun with their kids. (They never seem to say- ‘I always make sure get home in time to shop for and cook and clean up the kids’ dinners every night’’ [hmmm]).
I just look on this and just feel depressed because I know even me making similar claims or admissions about ^my own* job (not senior/Board level, not elected) would be looked at askance like I wasn’t doing my job properly, let alone being feted as some kind of Uber parent. You must be joking. And a female PM/President could never go anywhere NEAR that kind of talk.
To be fair to Tories I don’t think I have seen this superdad claim much from hard right wingers. That’s more a Cameroonian seeking to be seen as centrist position, But it seems pervasive among powerful left-wingers. And they even like to hint (or boast if they are Tont Blair) about themselves as loving husbands and sexual beings too- good luck doing that as a woman in politics.
The hard right don’t tend to make claims about being ‘hands on’ while they do often publicly put their wives and families on a pedestal, which often fits with the further right-wing’s being very open about their appreciation of rigid gender roles. (And often seeking to enforce them on others).
I just can’t see any female president or PM being able to boast about sneaking off to have special time with her kids or spouse (she couldn’t not be married) as being lauded. It would be used against her an example about how she was fucking up her kids by putting her career first, and to make her out to be mentally unstable: ‘female PM’s secret tornent at separation from her kids’.
I’m not normally cynical this many times before breakfast, but I really feel that how a lot of people see political leadership and motherhood have it so stacked against anyone that wants to combine both in a visible way. Sorry for the massive essay but it really fucks me off because if a woman PM or President COULD do that and tell us about it freely, with no punishment to follow, it would be absolutely revolutionary for other working mothers.