Just to say goodbye

[imnolaidee]

There are some lovely people on here. I've enjoyed my short time with you and I thank those of you who work to get feminism taken seriously (and all that means).

But it feels very toxic on here after I've tried to speak about a thread I posted that was pulled: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/3198553-Censoring-threads

Just nasty people and I haven't got room in my life to allow toxic and nasty people in, had too many of them over the years and I'm too old to deal with it anymore.

So, a short time, but wanted to say thank you and best of luck with everything you're doing for the cause.

p.s. I really am a single poster but i am damned if I am going to put up with this sort of nasty shit

I haven't read your thread.

I am going to back away too.

The debate has now started. We will win.

What have you got planned to do? I am looking for ideas to fill the void myself.

I don't know. I loved the camaraderie and support here, but there is a real nasty element on here too.

I really don't know what the option is. Maybe Twitter? It's not really ideal though, not cohesive enough.

I suppose I'll try and get to The Women's Place meetings but I'm a bit rural.

Thank you, felt like I was back in the playground there for a bit

On both sides there is a spectrum of characters. None of us are perfect.

I am reading a book at the moment, it may help you understand the dynamics and not take things personally. I started a thread if you want more details.

Maybe try Reddit? They have some decent feminist groups.

It's hard not to take it personally when you have a group of people attacking you for just asking about censorship.

If this was in person I could defend myself really well - no one dares to bully me in real life. As an ex-bullied person for a lot of my life into adulthood, I know exactly how to handle bullies now. But I tend not to engage online much so don't have the experience.

But yes, it'd be interesting to read that GabeIsShocking thank you.

I will likely leave MN soon though as life is to short to get upset by eejits who are there just to goad

Take a break, you don't have to go.

Or stay on this thread and we can ask that your boundaries are respected here?

I think you're being a bit dramatic, I saw your thread and for MN it was tame. Maybe this isn't the site for you.

DamnDeDoubtanceIsSpartacus and GabeIsShocking I'm probably menopausal and overreacting (seriously, I am menopausal).

But it was a shock to see suddenly loads of people go on the attack and accuse me of stuff. I know that they don't know me and I might have been a 'sock puppet' but they made no attempt to even check

AND the fact they even went as far to look at my IP address and resolved it to those accounts (the other person works in this office) it beggars belief they'd go that far - crikey what terrible deed had I committed?!

It was a crazy over reaction on there part as much as mine.

I noted MN have pulled the thread - ironic.

BTW thank you

GreenSeededGrape maybe not - some people are not cut out for online forums that's for sure

They're the admin of a large site that is targeted by trolls multiple time a day. Of course they check people's IPs! It's really a very minor thing, not at all shocking.

They probably didn't even check it. I expect for admin the IP of each poster shows in every post and they just saw it when they clicked on the thread.

imnolaidee To a certain degree I a share your views but for different reasons. I learned and continue to learn SO much from these threads. I've now stopped posting here as my political affiliation is not as welcome as perhaps it should be seeing as I'm a very concerned woman.

Anyway, if you're anything like me, you'll keep reading as I feel it's vital we stay up to date with what's happening and what we can do to support this vital cause.

I don't plan on leaving Mumsnet at all. I'll just post elsewhere and keep reading quietly here.

I won't bore you with the details of IP collection - I'll just say it's my job to watch out for stuff like this. I work in the online privacy arena - I'm a software designer.

But look. I am obviously not cut out for MN. I'm going to delete my account in a few hours once the people I've privately messaged have had a chance to read those messages.

Then i'm off.

Good luck to you all, you are a tougher bunch then me. I know my limitations. I am very grateful to you all however. I had to say that rather than just slope off in a sulk

To you all

I didn't see your thread but sorry to see you go,
I don't agree with all the opinions here but I guess that's the beauty of it!
all the best

I’m not sure what happened in your individual case, but I do understand the general issue you’re talking about. It’s very difficult to have an opinion here that may slightly differ. So I mostly use this place as a source of info and a place to connect to suit my activism elsewhere.
WPUK are doing some fab work btw and so do reach out! Best of luck.

I didn't see your thread op but I think I was on one of yours Yippee when a poster swept in like they were the head girl and gave us a dressing down for getting it all wrong. I thought it was quite funny (especially as there was at least one other thread having the same conversation) but then I wasn't on the receiving end and, if that's the thread that distressed you, I'm really sorry I didn't give you more support.

I lurked on here for a long time before I started speaking up. It's always been robust but I think the dynamic has changed. But these are strange times and we're under fire, not just by obvious trolls but by the ones who pretend at first to be here in good faith. Plus a lot of posters are out there getting shitloads of abuse on Twitter. So I make allowances and most of the time I'm in awe of posters on here, who cottoned onto this long before I did.

I hope you'll both hang around - it gets boring when everyone agrees.

Hi, another one saying please hang around and lurk. I go through phases of lurking and posting. There's always something going on...