AIBU - women are totally U to not want boys in the women's changing room

[ShotsFired]

So apparently it IS completely U and on women to not go swimming anymore, use cubicles, cover up with towels etc, if they express a desire not to get changed with boys in single sex female changing rooms. They have nowhere else to go (the men's being a seething pit of danger), we are denying them their rights and are being outright prudes and weirdos for saying politely that we'd simply rather not be naked with them standing there with their naturally curious young eyes. Also because girls and lesbians or something.

There seems to be no comprehension that their grudge should actually be with the venues' poor provision of safe and/orfamily-friendly facilities, so instead they just #NoDebate their fellow women and expect us to just make ourselves ok with it instead

We do have changing rooms. But they are usually within a room with communal changing. And I don't want cocks in the communal changing area.

But under eight year old cocks are ok because they're not really cocks in any significant way.

HTH.

Sorry for the detail. I posted to the wrong thread twice. Probably extra weird as my post was distantly related to the topic. Apologies once again!

OP if you are seriously complaining about boys under 8 being in the women's changing room in case they make comments about your body then yes you are beyond unreasonable! I'm actually astounded!

Surely you can see that banning boys under 8 from women's changing rooms would make it pretty much impossible for women to take their young sons swimming alone? What you want is anti-feminist as it would limit women's movements. You're only thinking of your own ridiculously fragile feelings. I seriously doubt children of either sex are queuing up to comment on your body anyway.

Slothface - Nice for you that you feel comfy in a state of undress around random men. Most women don't. There are more of them than there are of you, so they win in terms of what the general rules should be.

In terms of mothers who have to take their male children with them into some changing rooms - if there are cubicles then the little boy should use one. Why would you even suggest that the female majority should exile themselves to cubicles if available when the far easier solution of the little boy using one instead is available?

(With kids under say 5 I personally don't care, but 8 is pushing it, and we have to remember the little girls who're also in the room who may feel uncomfortable around boys their own age.)

@AngryAttackKittens I certainly don't want random men in the changing rooms! I agree with the general feeling here on self ID i think. But the poster is afraid little boys are making fun of her body and that's absurd, I'm afraid.

And 8 isn't pushing it. Jesus. Have you seen an 8 year old boy recently? 8 is a perfectly reasonable cut off. It has to cut off somewhere

Angry I think I agree with you about everything really. Also that if there's a cubicle the boy should use it. That's fair. I think the OP is being ridiculous by taking exception to small boys being in changing rooms with their mothers full stop. This is the kind of nonsense that will absolutely lose the public argument re: self ID. It's a totally different thing and honestly a non-issue and to start focusing on this sort of thing is just silly

I meant you post about flatmates, Sloth. Most women are less casual about that than you are, and I think this is a clear case of majority wins (though you are of course free to continue not being bothered).

I don't think it really matters why most women are uncomfortable if they are. My personal feeling is that up to the age of about 5 or 6 I'm not bothered, but if the majority or even a substantial minority is then into the cubicles the boys should go. The suggestion that the women for whom the room is primarily intended should be the ones to make adjustments is absurd.

(Ideally all changing facilities would have family rooms big enough to actually fit a family, but that's not always the case, and I've jammed into a small cubicle with family when I had to.)

The real issue that this thread is getting at though is just that, the idea that in any case where there's a clash between what women want and what anyone else wants it's women who should budge up and shut up. That's why it's on the Feminist board.

@AngryAttackKittens Ah sorry, I'm actually not @slothface - hadn't seen her post about flatmates. Just saw the word sloth and assumed your post was meant for me. Yes I also don't like the idea that having boundaries is "prudish"

Sorry for the confusion then! I was getting you mixed up due to the similar start to the names.

Both our local swimming pools have unisex changing facilities. There are only individual changing rooms, a couple of family changing rooms. This solves all the problems of parents taking their young children in of any age.

That's why I don't feel particularly concerned about self ID, I think pervs will be pervs whatever the rules, and if we'd historically been a unisex society where women weren't hidden away, perhaps we'd see less instances of voyeuristic sex crimes anyway.
This argument that predators will prey on us so it doesn't matter if we make it as convenient as possible for them, and if men could masturbate while they watch us undress there would be less voyeuristic sex crimes because it would not be illegal, is irrational nonsense.
As an example, please consider legal prostitution. Everywhere it has been legalized human trafficking and sex crimes have skyrocketed. Would you like to argue those are all countries full of prudes, also.

Depends what you mean by boy. There's no way my under 8 year olds will be changing on their own in the men's changing room if I take them swimming without their dad. Quite apart from anything else the youngest is too young to do his own clothes and the 6yo would get distracted and possibly a bit worried about being on his own. A young boy is not going to ogle you. Nor would a young girl getting changed with her dad.

I do sort of get the point you are trying to make about whose rights trump whose. However I do think I’ve a right to take my son swimming and I can only use the facilities available. I’m Not suggesting that the men’s changing room is a terrible place but just as I won’t let my five year old wander off round the shops alone I’m not sending him into the men’s alone. It’s all very well suggesting I campaign for better family changing but our leisure centre hasn’t had any investment in the last 15 years so unlikely to reconfigure the changing rooms because I’m hypothetically concerned about my child looking at a naked women and commenting when he’s never actually done this before