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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

How to challenge blatant misogyny in a situation I cannot leave or disrupt for others.

27 replies

Stormwhale · 10/03/2018 07:58

I am attending a physio exercise class at the hospital due to a back problem. There are 6 others, including one man who clearly hates women and thinks he is big and clever with his disgusting comments and behaviour.

The first day I met him, he was bragging about his friends young girlfriend. Apparently IT is fit as fuck and he asked his friend how many paper rounds IT had done. Angry.

He makes stupid fucking comments all the time and I have to listen to his misogynistic comments for an hour and a half twice a week. He also takes every opportunity to make mocking comments towards me, such as telling me I shouldn't be in the class because I'm too flexible (I have a hypermobility syndrome, it's why I'm fucking there) and giving me suggestive looks, making comments on how I do the exercises, commenting on when I decide to have a drink, apparently I'm not allowed to have my drink until the end!?

He is an utter cunt, and he comes across as a woman hating Billy big bollocks. It's making me so angry. He also tends to follow me around the exercise circuit despite me moving away from him so I have to hear his endless drivel. He goes on about how he was staring at the hydrotherapy instructors boobs, how it was nice to be up close with her in the swimming pool and sexist comments about every woman he meets. These comments are not to me as I have just given him a cold stare and walked away when he has tried to brag to me.

Most of the others in the class are taking it seriously, and the physio staff there are fantastic. I am hesitant to make a big fuss (socialization clearly has done a number on me!) Because it feels unfair on the other patients in the class and especially the physios who are working so hard to help us.

It seems as though most of the other patients think he is funny and don't seem to have a problem with his behaviour, but I just can't stand it. I have 4 more sessions to get through. What would you do?

OP posts:
Stormwhale · 10/03/2018 22:33

I have to admit I am new on my journey as a feminist and I'm struggling to stand up to this sort of behaviour. I was raised in a family where my dad was the head of the family, the one who disciplined us and I was scared of him to be honest. I ended up unable to stand up to men, even in some horrific circumstances. In the last year or so I have done a lot of work in therapy to try and find my way as a feminist, rather than accepting the values instilled in me as a child. I really appreciate the help with this.

My concern with raising a proper complaint is that I wouldn't want it to negatively affect the physios. They are so good, and are working so hard to help, I wouldn't want them to get in trouble because of this twat. Also, I don't actually know twats name. I have never bothered to ask. They do call out names in the sessions though, so I could find it out. Do you think I need his name in order to raise it with pals?

OP posts:
lougle · 11/03/2018 10:02

No, you don't need his name. They would find it out.

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