Giving up shaving

[Foxpyjamas]

I'm sure there are women here who have given up shaving their body hair, or never started?

As I approach 30 I am finding shaving more and more of a hassle. And I know that the only reason I'm doing it is societal pressure. I'm not one of those women who 'likes the way it feels' or whatever. I'd honestly rather not bother and I only do it when the body parts in question are going to be seen in public. But the societal pressure is pretty intense, as I feel it. I go swimming a lot and whilst I've been with stubbly legs/pits I have never been with 'full growth' and the thought makes me a little nervous - I'm pale-skinned with thick, dark hair so it would be very obvious.

What happened when you gave up shaving? Did you feel liberated, was it difficult? I imagine it's one of those things that gets easier if you just take the plunge? I think it would be all right if I had never started, like I never started wearing makeup or wearing a bra because I found those things to be too uncomfortable. I felt a little shame at these things when I was a teenager but not enough to make me do it (and zero shame now), but the shame of being hairy got me and now I feel like I'm a bit trapped by it. Logically I know that nobody's going to attack me for being hairy in public but it's just a bit scary.

I'm like you, pale with black body hair. Quitting shaving my legs was a mixture of liberating and difficult. It made me realise how conditioned I was. It made me feel self conscious and had to make an effort to get over that. At the same time, it was liberating not to have to remember to check for stubble and waste time shaving, and I prefer the way it feels.
The only thing was, I was ashamed of the hair on my toes, so I had that removed.
I still shave my armpits in the summer, but thats for hygiene so I dont stress about it.

I stopped shaving a few years ago.

I actually did do it to make a statement tbh.
It infuriated me more and more that it was expected of me to remove something natural, normal and healthy.

I questioned it more and more and in the end decided I would stop.

I have olive skin, but very very thick dark body hair, so it does stand out!

Like you I was roughly 30 at the time, and it coincided with a massive gain in confidence to be who I am.

I also shave my head and covered in tats...so I'm aware I come across.....ummm.....interesting...especially swimming

Be prepared for comments though.

Most people don't give a shit, or don't notice (or pretend not to?) but I've had lots of "loudly whispered" comments about me in swimming pools etc (always from women, never from men ) but I'm at a point in my life where I see that sort of shit as more indicative of their socialised attitudes, and see it as a compliment that my appearance disturbs them so much they have to make snidey comments.

I see where you're coming from with this. I am another pale yet dark haired person and shaving is definitely a massive pain in the arse.

Just do whatever you're comfortable with. It's your body, your choice. Maybe try it for a while and then if you're uncomfortable, whack out Mr Razor then? Can do no harm :)

Meant to add I find it incredibly liberating actually.

Just so nice not to have to deal with it.

I also find it's a fantastic "wanker" filter.
I don't hide it, still wear shorts/sleeveless tops etc, still swim.
So any guy or woman I might meet is either disgusted/put off or doesn't give a shit.
The disgusted ones aren't worth my time anyway...so it's win-win right?

Let your hair flow free!

You loose it as you get older.

In winter I shave nothing. However, Sydney summers can be humid as well as just hot, and armpit hair holds sweat, so yep, I shave the pits 'til weather coolsdown.

I used to shave my armpits. Never my legs or bikini line. But I was never very hairy, so perhaps less obvious that I wasn't doing it than it would be for many women. Post-menopause, I've not bothered with underarm hair either. There's only a little bit of fluff there so it hardly seems worth it.

I don’t shave my armpits any more and I’ve actually come to prefer it as a look (as well as the feeling, the hairs are lovely and soft).

I’m pale skinned and dark haired as well, and fairly hirsute (get a lot of facial hair) though I am on the pill and it does noticeably reduce both the amount and the coarseness of my body hair. I still have to pluck a couple of facial hairs out pretty much every day though.

I shave my legs up to the knee - I experimented with not shaving my legs one summer, but I found the cognitive dissonance too hard to deal with sadly. Bare, hairy legs with a skirt or shorts just didn’t look or feel “right” to me, however much I rationalised that it was all cultural conditioning. I don’t shave at all in the winter though, and do it as little as possible in the Summer (once a fortnight if I can get away with it!).

I don’t shave my thighs or remove any pubic hair unless it’s actually sticking out of my swimsuit!

One day I will let the leg hair grow again and see if I can come to feel the same way as I do about the armpit hair, without just resorting to trousers and maxi skirts...

I stopped when I was pregnant with DS1 (now 7) - for obvious bump-related reasons..

I have dark, moderately hairy lower legs, and lovely soft armpit hair, and a standard bikini-line

For the last couple of years, I lived in a mediterranean country, I went swimming, and no-one gave a single fig. No-one even looked (mind you, I was in a substantial swimming costume, not some high-leg thing)

The only place I remove hair is my moustache/chin (because I fiddle with the stiff hairs until they get infected otherwise!) and eyebrows, just because I stopped plucking and couldn't get used to how my face looks - I don't go crazy over it thought, just take out stragglers whenever I find myself looking in the bathroom mirror.

Since splitting up from my abusive ex last year who constantly commented on the state of my body i havent bothered and its so liberating. Ive also cut all my hair short which is something he hated me doing. I feel like me again after 10years of misery.

I have never shaved anything except for underarms on special occasions (e.g. a wedding with a strappy dress) where I felt I would embarrass others. I am pale with dark hair so it is noticeable. It's all I've known though and I'm used to it. I have seen people looking aghast at me, but it's always been my quiet act of rebellion. I keep meaning to dye my underarm hair blue or green but you have to bleach it first so it will be quite a faff. I think it will look nice and make more of a statement, middle aged woman with colourful armpits :)

Now that I think of it, my mother didn't shave either. But in her case, I get the feeling that it wasn't expected within her generation that women would have hairless pits and legs every day of their lives, as was the "vibe" when I was aged 14 onwards

She had normal adult human body hair and it never occurred to me that she should be any other way. I'm kind of happy about that, looking back now.

If you read the other thread this week about someone's 12 year old DD shaving it will come as no surprise that I don't shave at all.

I used to...then as I became more of an engaged feminist I realised what a load of bullshit it is.

Interestingly I find it one of the most ingrained internalised misogyny 'things' I've come across.

No-one has ever commented and I guess I don't care if they do...I would take it as an opportunity to tell them what bullshit it is

Yes, I suppose it's something that I could easily experiment with and then change if I couldn't handle it. I do WANT to be able to handle it, though. I know it's such a stupid little thing but I do think women who don't shave are quite brave. I resent anything that causes me discomfort/hassle that society says I should be doing as a woman, but which men are not expected to do.

I remember quite clearly an incident when I was a young teenager who hadn't given these things a moment's critical thought, but obviously well conditioned into society's expectations, feeling shocked and a bit disgusted when I saw a woman with all her natural hair. I'm sorry I ever felt that way now (not that I reacted outwardly), but I did and I know a lot of people just don't think about it ever and continue to have that reaction all their lives.

@AnotherQuoll - The point about your mother jumped out at me. My mother did and does shave (or rather, she has an epilator), but she doesn't wear makeup, and I credit her for the fact that I've always felt (more or less) that there was nothing wrong with my face as it was and that I didn't need to use it if I didn't want to.
Now I have a daughter (currently too young to notice or remember my personal grooming habits) and I do want to show her by example, not just by my words, that women shouldn't be ashamed of the way their bodies naturally are. I think mothers can be very influential that way and also that what you DO is usually more influential than what you SAY.