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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

How can I call down from my rage today?!

36 replies

Pomeranio9834 · 07/03/2018 19:01

After an absolutely infuriating day at work being belittled and possibly disciplined and being told I don't have the right to voice my opinion on a subject because I AM A WOMAN I have come home and ripped poor DP to shreds about how frustrating it is being a woman surrounded by balding middle aged men with the opinion that I am a lesser species I have got myself so worked up that I am shaking with rage.

How can I calm down enough to actually eat my leftover Chinese food.

But seriously, bollocks to fucking everything. And bollocks to all the women at work who giggle and take the blatant discrimination and sexism and fit into the little box cral2eated for them because it's the easy thing to do.

Bollocks bollocks bollocks and fuck off.

OP posts:
Pomeranio9834 · 07/03/2018 19:28

A 92% male dominated engineering company, private investor owned (investors are all of the same ilk).

I desperately need a new job but they're few and far between at the moment ubfortunatly.

I have kept all the emails, and noted the comments made but short of getting myself sacked by leaving the diversity, inclusion, discrination policies on all their desks with highlighted bits I'm not sure what else to do!!!!!

OP posts:
Itscurtainsforyou · 07/03/2018 19:37

I would love to know who you work for! I'm in a similar industry and our lot wouldn't dare to behave like that. Looks like you've got yourself a bunch of dinosaurs...

FatBallsontheBirdFeeder · 07/03/2018 19:40

OP. - I feel your rage. I'm currently working in the most sexist environments I've ever worked in over my 30 year career - surely it's supposed to be better now we're in the 21st century.

I've had the same, and different, but just as bad.

I Told my boss (AGAIN) on Monday that I felt uncomfortable with his constant commenting on my appearance - and then when he whined that "he was only giving me a compliment" reiterated that my appearance has no bearing on my ability to do my job Angry

I'm keeping a record - which includes the number of times I've asked him not to get changed in front of me - I'm not sure if I'm ever going to do anything with it (maybe a blog?) but it makes it easier to control the red mist.

Pomeranio9834 · 07/03/2018 19:42

74% of our staff base are between 51 and 65.

Horrific ageism but I must say I don't get it from the younger guys. And also never the engineers actually ... it's just the "management". Is that a common theme I wonder?

OP posts:
Pomeranio9834 · 07/03/2018 19:43

@Fatball

GETTING CHANGED IN FRONT OF YOU?!

I exercised great restraint today but if any of them tried that in front of me I actually think I'd lost it and throw a stapler remover at them or something

OP posts:
LonginesPrime · 07/03/2018 20:17

Another comment made today by a male senior manager "that I just be on my period and that's why I've taken it so personally"

Fucking hell, OP. I would leave and explain why.

Unfortunately, given the type of place you work, I don't hold out much hope that they will change any time soon. I don't know what the answer is for that workplace, but the answer for you is definitely to leave and go somewhere better where they know how to treat women with respect.

swivelchair · 07/03/2018 20:20

which includes the number of times I've asked him not to get changed in front of me

I've worked with 2 managers who would cycle in and strip/change in the office while talking to us all - in both their cases it was pure obliviousness, and they were perfectly nice people so I just averted my eyes... it's different when they're arses though isn't it.

I'm one of 4 people in a startup. The (technically) second in command is a total bumwipe, who spent 20 minutes the other day trying to brow beat me into giving him administrator access to a system he has no business administrating (especially when we need him to do his actual job) - I had he kept banging on about how his degree is in engineering, how he managed teams of eight people (eight! What a God! I'm running a team of 8 in another job too... of course they all have teams of their own below them...), I had attempts to pull rank, I had "I don't know what you have against me, but when it comes out, it's ugly", I had passive aggressive, and downright rude comments when I was trying to establish why he needed this access, and what I could do to facilitate that, without opening all the security to him - I maintained professionalism, the closest I got was to say that I was disappointed that he felt it was necessary to talk to me this way.

Now, I know the CEO has my back, but, if this guy keeps trying to assert himself as my boss, I will just quit. and it's not me that will suffer.

Set the line, and if they've crossed it, you just have to start looking for another job, and stuff them, feel no regret, no obligation, just leave.

Badgerthebodger · 07/03/2018 20:59

Fucking hell OP I’m appalled! Your restraint is commendable, I ripped into my MD the other day for a thoughtless few comments on how pregnant women basically just become shit at their jobs. Actually, those two pregnant employees you just badmouthed? They’re the best performers in my department. As a recent returnee from mat leave I can testify that if you allow mums some flexibility they will work their fucking arses off. Thankfully his wife must be quite a feisty sort because he laughed, said I reminded him of her and apologised.

Want to come and work with me OP? Women outnumber the men in senior positions, it’s great Grin

Branleuse · 07/03/2018 21:00

id consider leaving and claiming constructive dismissal

Alexkate2468 · 08/03/2018 12:38

That's beyond horrendous! I'm speechless. Absolute morons!

jedenfalls · 08/03/2018 19:00

And also never the engineers actually ... it's just the "management". Is that a common theme I wonder?

Yes. In my experience engineers dont give much of a fuck what people look like, they just see a person who can either a) help them b)hinder them or c)rocks.

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