Just when you thought it couldn't get any more batshit, Qantas bans using 'Mum' and 'Dad'

[AssignedPuuurfectAtBirth]

In order to be more 'inclusive'......

#stoptheworldIwantoff

www.independent.co.uk/travel/news-and-advice/qantas-gender-neutral-language-flights-lgbti-manual-cabin-crew-training-a8240191.html

Hmm, not fantastically bothered by " parent" rather than "Mum and Dad". Quite happy for no one but my DC to refer to me as "Mum".

Do really like them advising staff to avoid " manterupting" : that thing that some men do when a woman is saying something at work .

I'm not married to my partner, we have two children. Pretty much always he is referred to as my husband, or I'm referred to as his wife, in any situation where we're together as a family. It's not exclusionary, it affects me not at all when this happens. I don't bother to correct people unless it's relevant to the situation. When did it become so necessary to make sure that people's language is policed so tightly?

Parent instead of mom and dad looks innoculous but it must be seen in the context of the elimination of clear sex distinctions in language and the stiffling of debate about the effect of this on women's rights.

I'm referred to as his wife, in any situation where we're together as a family. It's not exclusionary, it affects me not at all when this happens

That's great for you, but asking a child where his mum or dad is does make a child who has two mums, or might be gay themselves feel like an other in a heteronormative society.

Assuming that everyone is in a heterosexual relationship and using language to suggest that this is the norm makes people who fall outside of those categories feel excluded and different.

It's the same for kids in single parent families - people asking where their mum or dad is can make children feel there's some deficiency in being raised by a lone parent, but 'parent' is neutral.

It's great, I particularly like the bit about colonisation/ invasion, settlement.

Parent instead of mom and dad looks innoculous but it must be seen in the context of the elimination of clear sex distinctions in language and the stiffling of debate about the effect of this on women's rights.

What deleterious effect do you think using inclusive language has on women’s rights? I am gender critical, and I think this is an excellent move. As PPs have pointed out not assuming that all families have a mum and a dad, not assuming my partner is the opposite sex to me, is a good thing. Banning staff calling me ‘honey’ or ‘love’ because I’m a woman is a good thing.

I don’t understand why as feminists any of us would have a problem with what’s described in this article.

The world’s gone insane. I’ve flown with Qantas a few times. The extent of my interactions with the crew have been restricted to such niceties as ‘Can I get you a drink’ and ‘The chicken or the beef?’
I do not recall any of them crouching next to me in the aisle and declaring ‘Right, this is the point of the journey that we discuss colonisation.....here’s your landing card’.

@LonginesPrime I didn't mention anything about "Mum & Dad", my post was about using "husband and wife" to refer to a heterosexual couple. I don't know why you used a quote from my post to talk about upsetting children?

Parent is fine, for the reasons you outline. I wouldn't dream of asking a child where their "mum and dad is". Having had more than a decade's experience of teaching, I am very well aware that many many children have different home lives to the norm, and always tried my absolute best never to make assumptions. I also never assumed anything about the adults that I met in relation to the children I taught, having had plenty of experience of carers who are not mum or dad.

I think (forgive me Longpines if I have this wrong) that they were answering your post because it came across as “I don’t have a problem with this, so none else should”. You probably didn’t mean it that way but it could be read like that.

Perils of the internet.

I don't know why you're so outraged, quite honestly. 'Parent or carer' rather than 'mum and dad' has been the norm for a while you know. Many children only have one parent, or two of both, or none. Language can upset.... not just adults.

“They also suggest employees should try to refrain from “manterruptions”, whereby a man interrupts when a woman is speaking.”

This bit is awesome!

Asking a child where their Mum or Dad is isn't offensive in a heteronormative world as the child would have at least one mum or dad wouldn't they? Asking where mum and dad are might be more of an issue. Wiping out words is becoming irritating.

Oh come on, it doesn't take a genius to remember that some kids really do have neither parents in their lives and when already distressed would becoming deeply upset at being asked if they know where their mum or dad is.

I think it's a step forward for a 'parent' to be considered in charge of a child - because so often when it is gender-specific language it ends up being 'mum'.

It doesn't matter how much we tell DDs school or GP that DH is the main carer, or put his name as first contact, I generally called first, as 'mum', even though I work FT and might be driving half way across the country. So anything that encourages considering carers to be gender neutral is a win to me!

Ah, apologies Assassinated (and thanks Cwenthryth) - yes, I interpreted your post to be saying that you weren't offended to be called your partner's wife when you're not, so you couldn't see why others would be offended by assumptions being made about them.

In any case, I don't get the impression that the staff have been told never to refer to someone as someone's mum/dad/wife/husband/whatever when they know that's what they actually are - it sounds like it's more about using inclusive language so as not to make assumptions when they don't know.

What phrase would you suggest we use, hummosscot, to avoid inadvertently upsetting an orphan?!

As I've said multiple times- 'parent or carer'. I've worked in schools and with kids as a childcare provider in my city for the last four years and that's always the letter heading. This isn't a new thing and it's pretty easy to pick up.

It is really not the biggest deal in the world and threads like these make you look more ridiculous than swapping a word does. I really do wonder if threads like this are started by people who have nothing better to do than to see if an argument comes out of it. No bloody common sense.

Parent would presumably upset these hordes of mythical children without either parent in their lives

I'm responding to your earlier post, humm, you suggested that because some kids had neither parent in their lives we should stop using the term parent...

Being asked where your carer is makes you sound like an inmate.

just ask who is looking after them? (might be aunty gertrude, or gran or big brother... or their friend's mum.... )