Feminists - do you think it's bad to be a man and want to watch women in sports, at the beach, etc. because you find them attractive?

[LilacBearberry]

I'm a feminist. I also had this conversation with my mum and dad this evening. I flippantly said I'd prefer to watch the male divers, gymnasts, etc. over the women because of the way they look. My mum quickly jumped on me and said I can't think like that with my views. She said that she thinks I'd hate it if a man said that and I said no, actually, I wouldn't. My dad then said he'd rather watch the women because of their outfits, etc. I honestly didn't think that was that bad, as I had just thought it about the men. Apparently this makes me a bad feminist. I'm genuinely curious if other feminists find this bad?

I don't object to people admiring others physically. I only object if it is done in a disrespectful, demeaning way.

Goodness knows what she meant by 'bad feminist'.

It’s perfectly normal and entirely acceptable to find fit young members of your preferred sex with great bodies attractive.

That’s why teenage girls scream at boybands, middle aged women swoon over George Clooney, men avidly watch beach volleyball and gays drool over Tom Daley in his micro speedos.

I think if you had absolutely no interest in the sport at all and had just gone to watch a match of whatever, to perv on the people playing then that might be a bit of an issue. But finding people doing a sport you are actually interested in, attractive is pretty natural I think. I guess its all tied up anyway, you end up attracted to people because of their skill at something your interested in as well as their physical appearance. So Id understand being more interested in the sex you are attracted to playing the sport you like.

I do think it would make me uncomfortable to think of people with absolutely no interest in the skill of the sport just standing their drooling at peoples bodies. Its a bit disrespectful to the sportspeople. Id find it uncomfortable and would not be able to preform as well at the sport if I thought I wwas being judged on how sexy I was rather than how well I was playing. So I wouldnt condone it being done to anyone.

I think it can be disrespectful if someone is completely ignoring the actual sport and just lusting after the players. If it's too blatant and too many people have that attitude then of course it's demeaning to the athletes.

I’d think watching the people rather than the sport is demeaning.

I work a fair amount with fire fighters. Some of them are obviously easy on the eye. But I've been offered (more than once ) a fire fighter calendar by the blokes in the calendar. That's weird.

Fine to appreciate that someone is attractive. Not fine to reduce them to just their physical appearance. That's sort of the definition of objectification.

There's a difference between objectifying someone and admiring them physically. One is treating that person as a non-human sex object, the other is perfectly natural.

As long as it's not done in a pervy way, as long as you (generic you) aren't treating that person as an object, I don't see a problem with it.

I think finding an athlete attractive while also understanding that person is a human being who is there to play their sport is okay.

I think it can be disrespectful if someone is completely ignoring the actual sport and just lusting after the players. If it's too blatant and too many people have that attitude then of course it's demeaning to the athletes.

This. Imagine if everyone attended sports events to perv over the participants instead of supporting and having a genuine interest in the sport? Grim.

We are not things. If you view people as things you need to sort yourself out.

FYI, I don't view people as things. If I absolutely love someone's hair/makeup/nails/female beauty, I'll admire it. It's the same for the fit men doing the gymnastics, diving, at the beach, in a film, out in public. Didn't realise it was a problem tbh. I don't stare at anyone.

If your primary focus is to watch the sport then it's not a problem. We all find people attractive, that's normal. It's how you act on it that matters. Sitting there going "phwoar look at the arse on that" isn't acceptable or respectful. Quietly appreciating someone's appearance as an aside is fine.