Mother and her very sexualised daughters

[Mrsmiguelcervantes]

Just trying to process why I feel so uncomfortable with this.

A FB acquaintance has daughters who she regularly post pictures of. They all look far older than their years and often are pictured wearing very grown up clothes and make up.

Recent photos include her 11 year old in tiny denim hot pants, a crop top and heavy make up, sticking her bum out with her finger to her lips with the caption ‘my big girl’; the 15 year old in a tiny red pvc skirt, sheer top that shows her black lace bra and heavy makeup; her 16 year old in a black rubber tiny mini dress with heavy make up pouting at the camera looking about 25.

It makes me feel sad that these girls don’t look like children but very sexualised adult women, and uncomfortable that their mother is to some extent encouraging this.

Prepared to hear that IABU though.

You feel uncomfortable because she is encouraging her daughter's to behave in ways that they barely understand and will get them into hot water.

Sounds appalling and I'd be worried about the children's welfare to be honest.

It is not unreasonable to be worried about the inappropriate things adults do to their children.

I think that’s it. I’m certainly uncomfortable with her sending her young teenagers out in a way that may encourage male attention they are not equipped to deal with.

I don't like the sound of her, either, though I never did find out how you impose your own dress style on a 15-year-old.

That’s usually because the adult is trying to tone down what the 15 year old is wearing ‘ You’re not going out like that’ rather than ‘ You need a push-up bra’

Tbh the 16 year old doesn't sound too bad, I've seen girls here wearing much worse and even to an extent I can kind of let the 15 year old pass as many 15 year olds I've seen dress like that and put on loads of makeup, I guess it's about experimenting at that age.
However I completely agree about the 11 year and also the 15 year old mostly. Even if the 15 year old is at that experimenting age, her mother shouldn't really be pushing her to act like that. The mother sounds quite ridiculous.

Why is mother posting these photos and who for?
I would feel quite disturbed by this as well OP and it feels as though the mother is pimping her daughters... or they are possibly being groomed in some way.
Might be worth having a chat with NSPCC and getting their take on this?

I do know what their mother is wanting to achieve by taking photos of her daughters in prevocative poses and posting them all over the Internet. It sounds very distasteful and perhaps sinister. I agree with speaking to the NSPCC.

I’m not sure. The mother is extremely thick and does dress in a similar way herself. I wonder if it’s more just about basking in the reflected glory of her pretty daughters as lots of her friends commenting about how gorgeous they are. I think they will have received messages from her from an early age about how girls should look and dress. There’s also a baby who is only ever dressed in giant pink bows, frills, headbands and glitter.

I know someone like this. It's sad and not what I would want in my daughter. She is also very keen to give a running commentary on her daughters puberty. It is odd but I have put it down to insecurity and a desire to be desired herself which she is now doing through her daughter. Grim.

This could be it. Looking back there were pictures of the middle one in full make up aged seven.

I have teenage daughters so I understand that you lose control of what they wear as they get older but this woman is actively encouraging them to go out looking far older than they are. And as I said before attracting attention of potentially older men that they’re not equipped to cope with.

CB how bizarre to comment on daughters puberty and what an invasion of her DDs privacy!

I know. It is grim . She's a very odd woman though. When the girl was 11 she turned up to a Halloween party dressed as Harley Quinn. Denim hotpants and red lipstick included.

I think dressing like that at 15/16 is fine, but not 11.

Are they travellers ?

I think it's about living through your children. And about them looking "nice" - whatever that means for you.

My mum used to try to dress me up - not in skimpy stuff but in stuff she thought looked "nice" and maybe that she would have liked to wear when she was my age / or would like to wear now but doesn't feel able. It's a vicarious thing. The only difference I see here is in terms of the style - it's the same mechanism.

Men should learn not to take what a girl or woman is wearing - clothes or makeup - as a statement of availability to be quite honest. That's a weird thing. They shouldn't be approaching girls fo sex (which I assume is the concern here). Girls who are 14, 15, 16 have always "looked older" at what point is society going to say, girls these age don't look like children, they do experiment and want to look more grown up, they are however still children, and so what needs to happen is that society needs to adjust its idea of what girls this age look like. Then "she looked older guv" won't be a popular and frequently accepted excuse any more.

FWIW I wouldn't like this either but as she dresses like this herself, it's obviously what she thinks looks "nice". We live in a hypersexualsied society, images of women are often like this advertising all sorts of things or on the telly, so it's not that surprising that it propogates.

No, they’re not travellers.