Advice for young daughter on LGB

[LumpitMcCrumpet]

I know this isn’t a particularly feminist issue but there are so many erudite women here and in some respects my worry is about a feminist issue.

Although it comes as no surprise to me, my 10yo daughter has been saying more and more that she likes girls in the same way her friends like boys and tonight asked would I be ok with her bringing a girl home to meet us when she’s grown up. I said of course and that i’ll always love her and fully support her whomever she likes. Having never so much as had a girl crush, I’m absolutely shit with advice and can only offer unconditional love. She also asked was it ok to like both boys and girls, and what was that called, I’m not pushing her in a direction and keeping things as age appropriate as possible. I’m so pleased she felt able to come and ask me about these things but she’s asking questions about something outside my personal experience and I wondered if there are any good resources for young people exploring their (for want of a better word) sexuality, which aren’t pushing a trans agenda, and Are age appropriate that I could look at for some answers? Are there any good young adult fiction books that address the issues of sexual preference in young people?

We live in a place where any kind of difference is unacceptable, I hide my ASD for fear of judgement and exclusion and I worry that she’ll feel she has to hide her crushes for the same reason, I don’t want to teach her it’s something to be ashamed of but I need to know she won’t be picked on or ostracised for being open about it. How can I support her (I’m assuming it will be more pertinent in the future than now) and I guess protect her or give her the tools to protect herself from bigotry and homophobia?

I know she’s young and everything may still change in a multitude of ways but i’d Like to be prepared and knowledgeable (part of my Asd)

@Flamingowings yes, I had seen it and thank you! Sorry I hadn't been affronted in the first place and just wanted to elaborate on the possibly atypical environment I brought my dcs up in. Atypical is too strong a world, but talking to friends and teachers, it does seem as if teenagers are at schools where either everyone dates or no-one does.

Personally, i can say, i would have been overjoyed to have the accepting love and support you offer your child. Imo, being open with them, emphasisng that whatever they choose is fine, at heart you want the same thing for them whomever they choose. A happy, enjoyable,fun,respectful relationship,whether thats for the school dance,a few trips to the films, or a longer more serious relationship when older.
I think emphasising whatever they decide they are not fixed with one choice forever. In my experience a great fear when coming out,even to oneself, or a potential date,is somehow being stuck, the ‘what if i make a mistake, whatever will i do then’ kind of feeling. Knowing you are there,that she is only choosing for the moment,she can be whomever and whatever she wishes with you is supportive.

Oh justs saw your additional message...i would just simply talk about ‘feelings for’. That could be anything, being excited at seeing the person, wanting to spend time with them, liking them, and of course vague nonspecific excitement which could be related to physicality, but honestly, i think feelings for cover everything both in terms of orientation, warm feelings, and burgeoning sexual feelings. No need to be specific, i shouldnt think.

flamingowings the lady penis issue is mine and certainly not something I’d be discussing with her any time soon. In fact if they could just ftfo before she hits puberty I’d be quite happy!

harpyone I like the feelings for phrase it works well. Thank you. She talks about girls in her class having crushes and she’s had small celeb crushes herself before now so she’s aware of that experience. I certainly hope to keep it as innocent as possible for as long as possible.

I am lesbian. If either of my children felt they might be gay or lesbian and we're a bit older than your daughter, I would really carefully vet info they got about 'LGBT' issues. Particularly special groups for 'queer youth' (there is one in my area).

Absolutely agree with this.

The way young lesbians are treat is heartbreaking. Chances are any 'LGBT support group' will be entirely focussed on the T, telling lesbians they have to be attracted to 'gender' (ie. clothing sense!) rather than female people, and possibly telling lesbians children who are more likely to be GNC that they are actually transmen.

I am so dreading my kids getting to the age where they will get all of this rubbish thrown at them. I will try to counter it all of course, but peer pressure..scares me.

Even lesbians specific groups are chance to be dominated by 'transgender' issues given lesbians are not allowed to meet together without the presence of a 'male lesbian'