I was reading 'The Metaphysics of Gender' by Charlotte Witt (OUP, Studies in Feminist Philosophy). Which like a lot of this academic feminist stuff is fairly dense (but unlike Judith Butler not totally incomprehensible!). And the same basic separation talked about, I think, between biology/material reality (i.e sex, and what bits and bobs you have, for example), your 'inner' sense of who you are (which may or may not include a strong sense of 'gender identity'), and then your 'social gender' (which is all about how others treat you and where you fit in socially).
Trying to impose your inner sense on gender on others (i.e force them to treat you differently in terms of your social gender), and ignore biology in the process, really does begin to seem quite mad when you view it like that. Why should your personal, subjective, internal view of yourself override everything else?
Those who try to draw parallels with gay rights -- I'm reminded of one of the first uses I came across of the use of 'identify as'. In terms of men who had sex with other men (hence objectively would classify them as either gay or bi), yet they did not 'identify' as gay. But when it came to safer sex advice and the AIDS crisis, it was rightly realized that however they identified, their needs had to be addressed, hence the 'men who have sex with men' phrase appearing. Their subjective 'identity' (or refusal of one) was not allowed to override their own objective risks to their own health and that of others. Whereas TRAs would have us go totally the other way. It would be like ignoring the health risks for 'men who had sex with men', and calling anyone who protested that 'but they are putting themselves and others at risk if we do not address their actual behaviour' a nasty name.............