Hi sillage, and herein lies part of the problem.
I start from the point whereby I believe that all human beings whether male or female are affected by socialisation. If I didn’t think this then frankly, I wouldn’t see much point in carrying on. If we don’t believe this then we just have to accept that nothing will ever change because our sons will inherit a ‘Curse of Adam’ and our daughters will carry on behaving as they always have. I don’t want to think that that is the case, and I suspect that you don’t either, otherwise you wouldn’t be here.
If we accept that boys are affected by socialisation – internet porn, toxic male culture, consumerism – then we also have to accept that girls are too. After all feminism has changed the behaviour of women and girls, that is an effect of socialisation.
We live in a pretty damned toxic world right now whereby consumerism teaches people to treat everything as a commodity – and that, sadly, includes other people.
I am old enough to have seen a massive change in the way that women behave. Some of those changes have been for the better without doubt. Some of those changes - resulting from socialisation - have encouraged women to seize more opportunities and do a great many things they would never have done before.
Unfortunately I have also seen some changes in the way that women and girls behave that are not so positive. Recently here on Mumsnet there was a thread on AIBU about ‘minor acts of vindictiveness that you do to your partner’ or somesuch title. It was commented on here on the Women’s Right board with horror. The examples given on that thread included gasslighting, surreptitious drugging and God knows what else. Mumsnet HQ deleted that thread – a pity really, I always prefer it when evidence is left out in the open for all to see. Women here on this board were – rightly - horrified. Many women on AIBU however thought it was ‘brilliant’ and should go in Mumsnet Classics. This suggests a distinct difference between the women here on this board, and many of those who comment on AIBU.
Interestingly, the thread hasn’t disappeared forever – a friend of mine who works as a divorce lawyer – she also uses Mumsnet - copied the lot for training purposes. She works with younger lawyers and is now apparently using it to teach them about the sort of things that women do to their husbands. A study in manipulative and toxic behaviour if you like.
I have seen some of the frankly disgusting things that younger women get up to on hen nights and some of it makes my blood run cold. Displaying the same kinds of commodification of human beings that was – in our society at any rate – previously exhibited only by men.
I have also had the dubious pleasure of meeting some thoroughly evil - that is the only way I can describe them – women over the years.
No, I do not think that women behave in this way to anywhere near the same extent as men, but things are certainly changing, but, just as male sex offenders manipulate others, and deliberately place themselves in positions where they can satisfy their urges, so do their female counterparts.
I could give you dozens of examples of changes for the worse among women over the last few years, but this is supposed to be a reply to your rather trite and clearly ideologically based dismissal, and not a whole damned essay – I gave up writing those years ago.
To sum up, socialisation on children changes the way that they go on to behave as adults, and many women younger than me have been socialised in a pretty lousy way and taught to treat others as commodities. Not to the same extent I agree, but it’s getting worse, and denying it simply gives help to those who want to pull us down and take away our gains.