Am I a feminist?

[NeverUseThisName]

Very naive question, but how do I know?

Do you believe in the equality of women and men? That's pretty much it.

As above. I don’t know why some people think it’s all bra burning and hairy armpit.

Absolutely I believe in the equality of both sexes.

Is that all it takes?

Absolutely!

It is believing in equality for both sexes.

But of course, it's firstly recognising the inequality, so can be addressed.

So I am exercising my equal freedom of choice when I choose to do traditionally female household tasks, and leave traditionally male tasks to dh?

(Dh, who also changes nappies, bathes dc, puts them to bed and gets up with them in the night, cooks, does laundry, and vacuums, BTW.)

Of course it's a choice. The feminist context would be whether that inadvertently disadvantages you and whether you are making it as result of inherent gender bias generally.

Datun got it perfectly right with, "firstly recognising the inequality". The other thing is, IMO, being aware of the bigger picture.

You personally may have made a choice to do "traditionally female" tasks, but many many others do not get that choice. Whether through force, coercion, or the influence of societal pressure/norms.

As with absolutely everything you can be a feminist whilst doing non-feminist things, but I don't think you can reasonably call yourself a feminists whilst ignoring the inequalities that affect women in our society.

OP. It's leg shaving as a microcosm.

Is shaving your legs a feminist choice? No.

Do I shave my legs? Yes, occasionally.

I know why though. I am adhering to a patriarchal system.

I do it, but I know why I do it.

It is of course a fairly superficial example.

And there are other examples that are far easier to reject.

Porn, prostitution, etc.

Equality isn't about being free to do things because men do them, OP, it's about being free to do the things that enable YOU to fulfil your potential. It's not about swapping on set of restrictions for another.

I've been a working mum and a 'traditional' stay at home mum at different points - as I felt best served me and my needs - the equality lies in my right and ability to make those choices without being unfairly penalised.

I have to say I did feel, and clearly was, unfairly penalised in career terms for taking time with the family and that is wrong. We've a long way to go on getting equality there.