Tearing down women

[QuentinSummers]

I've been reading the thought provoking threads about if it's ok not to be beautiful, and what's great about being female. And posted on one abput how important it seems to be to society to portray older women as out of touch and irrelevant, to prevent women passing on their wisdom.
Then I read this tweet by Jessica Eaton
mobile.twitter.com/Jessicae13Eaton/status/950846932750098432

Nothing really changes does It?

Btw Jessica Eaton is amazing, follow her if you don't already

Oops
mobile.twitter.com/Jessicae13Eaton/status/950846932750098432

Think for a minute what the fact that the same ways of cutting down women who refuse to behave in a sufficiently compliant way are being used now as were then. Calling us ugly and declaring "you'll never find a husband that way"? That's literally all misogynistic men have as far as "reasons" why women shouldn't be feminists. It's pathetic.

What is says about the men using those tropes, I mean (hit post too soon).

you'll never find a husband that way

This used to be a genuinely terrifying threat because it implied all sorts of awful financial consequences before women were allowed actual careers. But what does it mean now? "You won't have to do twice as much laundry and remind your husband about his dentist's appointment"? Sounds bearable to me

I'd have to go to the supermarket myself and get cheese rather than asking him to pick some up on his way home? That would be awful, I see now why I must renounce feminism immediately.

This used to be a genuinely terrifying threat because it implied all sorts of awful financial consequences before women were allowed actual careers. But what does it mean now? "You won't have to do twice as much laundry and remind your husband about his dentist's appointment"? Sounds bearable to me

Spot on!

genghis

@AngryAttackKittens

And as the type of man who uses that 'threat' is also the type of man no sane woman would even consider marrying it's almost like encouragement.

That's why the only answer to that comment is 'thank God'.

That or "do you promise?"

And as the type of man who uses that 'threat' is also the type of man no sane woman would even consider marrying it's almost like encouragement.

I love it!!!

This used to be a genuinely terrifying threat because it implied all sorts of awful financial consequences before women were allowed actual careers. But what does it mean now? "You won't have to do twice as much laundry and remind your husband about his dentist's appointment"? Sounds bearable to me

couldn't agree more.

Derogatory comments on women's appearance have always, and still are, used to put women firmly in their place. It's a reminder from people what THEY value women for. As women we have to (try to) rise above this rhetoric. It is difficult because it is so ingrained in us that our outward appearance is vitally important. You only have to read some of the threads on MN - women put themselves down, sometimes I find myself doing it almost unconsciously. It is one of the most harmful aspects of internalised misogyny the way we judge ourselves on appearance and can be so hurt by insults about it. Patriarchy created a big chink in the armour with that one and it continues to this day. The obsession with how women appear is constant and relentless, it's no wonder we internalise it and it is no wonder it is a default insult for those opposing feminists. It's an easy (almost lazy) jab at women.

They want us to think of ourselves as things not people.

It does my head in a little bit that so many of us are willing to oblige

I think it is hard to extricate yourself from years of being told tacitly or directly that is what we are WhatWouldGenghisDo there are images and words littering our lives that are inescapable and they have been there since we were young children; adverts on TV, billboards, posters, programmes, pictures in magazines ... the list of sources goes on. Even if you don't take these ideas in directly you cannot fail to take them in on a subliminal level. Pretty much every where you go there is a message that women are not enough, to the extent that we are now subjected to images that aren't even a truth; air brushed and photo-shopped. With all that floating around our conscious and subconscious it isn't surprising that women oblige it is a very difficult thing to reverse. The targeting of feminists now and suffragettes of the past in this manner is calculated because EVERYONE has seen the message about how women should look (and behave). So many times I have talked to people about the sex industry, porn and normalised soft porn and the first accusation most defensive men make is that you are jealous - because who wouldn't be jealous of a job where you pander to men on a sexual level or a job you are forced into as a result of circumstance. It's a very common diversion tactic in arguments about patriarchy.

Anyway I've ranted now and gone off on a tangent - sorry I know what you mean about it being frustrating that we oblige but I think it takes an enormous effort to shake off that kind of indoctrination.

Oh I agree. I didn't mean to sound as if I blamed women for this.

But it's upsetting seeing so many (amazing) women restricting their own lives and energies and living with completely unwarranted self-loathing. And especially for such a fucking stupid reason. Men would rather see us as sexual objects than people so we have to do the same. Ffs.

Oh I know you weren't blaming women, I understand where you're coming from. I just didn't put that across very well. We agree on this. It's so annoying that it is this way. I wish it wasn't.

It's nuts though because if you do go about your business being a feminist and taking no shit, you find plenty of men who are fine with that and if it were the case that feminism puts men off then how to explain all the married/in a stable relationship feminists...... I feel sad for women who end up with douchy men because they were afraid no one would love them if they stood up for themselves (I imagine this happens).

you find plenty of men who are fine with that and if it were the case that feminism puts men off then how to explain all the married/in a stable relationship feminists...
Well because the women wear the trousers and those men are pussy whipped. Obviously.