Help. Anyone familiar with schools' Rainbow Flag Award or Proud Trust?

[RichardOfYorkGaveBattleInVain]

(Namechanged in case too outing btw...)

DC's school will soon be starting the Rainbow Flag Award programme, run by The Proud Trust.

Apparently this is a "Government Equalities Office funded project for schools...A quality assurance framework for schools, (primary, secondary and SEND), this project encourages schools to become more LGBT inclusive and...eradicate homo/bi/transphobic bullying."

There is very little further detail though, and I would really like to know more about the content of the training and activities. While I'm all for inclusiveness and stopping bullying and I'm sure a lot of it will be positive, I have concerns about some possible aspects, as you can imagine.

I wasn't filled with confidence for example by finding the main organization they recommend for gender identity/trans support seems to be Mermaids. Plus there's a document on school sports they contributed to which seems to totally follow the TA line on changing rooms etc (no mention of impact on girls of course), not to mention a heavy sprinkling of genderbread people. So I do have some worries about what messages this will be pushing.

The school is holding a session for parents before starting the programme, but TBH I am rather dreading it as if it's like I'm starting to expect, I will either have to bite my tongue extremely hard (and then raise any concerns afterwards) or go full Spartacus in public, which is a rather scary prospect. So I would like to be prepared as far as possible and any info on the project would be very welcome, or tips from anyone who's been through anything similar with their schools.

I'm not familiar with it but transgender trend may be? Their schools section is here: www.transgendertrend.com/schools-resources.
It is likely that much of this will be good anti bullying materials that anyone will find acceptable but you are absolutely right to be concerned about the transgender approach to eradicating girls, removing safe spaces etc.

And (sorry this is the Mail) www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4987780/Headmaster-apologises-gender-neutral-toilets.html
This Head found that he had to reverse his initial plans re uniform and gender neutral toilets - it transpired that when children were actually asked, they weren't keen - quelle surprise!

To be honest, I'd be tempted to make an appointment to speak to the Head and share some good gender critical articles. Let them know in advance that there are problems IF they are introducing specific initiatives that prioritise the needs of one group over others. It's always better than confronting them in public and putting them on the back foot. Schools are such busy places that these things aren't always carefully thought through - especially if a 'good' organisation is pushing this as a positive development. If there's a keen member of staff pushing this it may be that senior staff just haven't sat down and thought through the implications. Some carefully chosen questions about 12 year old girls having to share changing rooms with 16 year teenage boys who self ID old when they changing for the after school swimming team or something about safety and contact sports is always a good one. Also asking whether the Science department have been told to stop teaching about biological facts about chromosomes and sex organs maybe?

Hopefully someone will know about the programme in more detail.

I think Transgender Trend are very soon going to be updating their guidance for schools, but the info there is really helpful. e.g.:
www.transgendertrend.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/3.-Creating-a-welcoming-school-for-gender-non-conforming-students.pdf

I would also go and see the headteacher and/or chair of governors with your concerns rather than raise them in public. The bullying aspect is incredibly important - but as in the link above - if the focus is on welcoming and protecting from bullying all children who present differently to the male/female stereotypes, then that can help both children who think they are transgender (but may or may not ultimately stay that way) but also not pressurise children to think that they are IYSWIM. I would also question it from a science point of view, and what the settled science actually is on pink/blue brains (i.e. there is next to no science behind it).

Thanks both, that looks very helpful. Not got much time to read or post just now but will come back to it. The points about bringing things up before the public session are good, though I'll have to see if it's possible as the session is quite soon after school reopens.

It's also important that the school are fully aware of precisely what the programme covers - and they may not be. There's a significant amount of 'outsourcing' of pastoral programmes these days so it's important that the school have drilled down into precisely what is being said. Anti bullying messages are completely appropriate but you need to ensure that this group is not 'promoting' transgenderism to children (as opposed to explaining) and will not be seeking to change policy and practice or 'silencing' children who ask questions. What is their definition of transphobia and does it that means that reasonable questions and concerns become hate speech? This is incompatible with the values of a school.

Yes I absolutely agree about ensuring they are fully aware of the content guardian! And also your last two sentences are very powerful too and definitely something to bring up with them.

I've had a quick look at (some of) the materials on transgendertrend too and they look really helpful and positive, so I will definitely use some of those and encourage the school to have a look for themselves too.

Think I will try to get in touch this week (if possible, as school is still closed) and ask to meet, though time will be tight to do that and for them to have any time to think about what I bring up before the planned parents' meeting, so I hope it is possible. I've also remembered I know someone on the parent council a little, so might try to talk to them too. I wish I knew whether there were any other parents feeling the same! But it's so hard to bring up publicly without fearing just being dismissed as a "bigot" I might talk to a couple privately though.

What really does my head in too is that DH is not really in agreement with me on this either. I think he is starting to see my point a little (though he hates to admit it), but is still not convinced. Ironically, I think it's partly because he grew up in an environment that was relatively racist, homophobic etc (not so much him personally, but it was considered pretty normal) and went through a real growing-up process where he'd now be horrified by those attitudes; so I think he is worried about "getting it wrong again". But given I am a BIG supporter of human rights, anti-racism, women's rights, LGB rights and even the "QT" up to the point where it affects other people's rights, and have been signing petitions, donating money etc as long as he's known me, it really makes me that he can't just give me the benefit of the doubt on this one, or at least just listen to my viewpoint properly once and then make up his own mind rather than dismissing it as "my ranting"

(Sorry, slight self-derail there!)

Richard
Most of us understand your last point about the reactions of others, especially partners / families. It's because this is an essentially right wing and intolerant movement that is actively oppressing others but it is SEEN as liberal and inclusive.
In relation to children and schools, I try to focus on three main points;
Transgender pressure groups are pushing for children to have early access to life altering drugs rather than ''watchful waiting' in response to gender non conformity. There has been no research on this and is is unethical to promote what are essentially untested medical experiments on children.
Is the anti bullying focusing on being respectful and kind , understanding and tolerance of different view and life styles? Have they ensured that the training is compliant with all safeguarding policies? (no promising confidentiality to children). Are any mentions / statistics about suicide and mental health from peer reviewed studies and in line with the Samaritans guidelines?
Accurate use of science, biology and language .. beliefs not taught as facts etc.(pink and blue brains)
When discussing issues, I use several approaches starting with 'how great it is to see society being less gender stereotyped. Now how can we ensure that the needs of one group don't unwittingly impact on the rights of others? If we give this transgender identifying young male access to the girls changing rooms and toilets how can we ensure that the girls struggling with managing their heavy periods, the Muslim girls, the shy girls, the bullied girls, the overweight are able to use changing rooms and toilets where they feel safe? We know that if girls (and boys) are embarrassed and intimidated when changing for PE, then they will stop using these spaces, won't undress in front of a teenage boy, won't participate in PE etc and may even stop attending school. How can we ensure that they all have access to toilets and changing facilities where their privacy and dignity are respected?. How can we manage this?'

The poster RedToothBrush has some insightful views on turning this round and putting the onus on institutions to explain their thinking and actions in relation to this - it is not ethical to medically experiment on children or to start excluding women from safe spaces so we need to make schools and organisations to start explaining why they are promoting this . See her comments on the Mermaids thread.

Good luck.

Quick update:

I managed to have a short phone chat with the head of inclusion at school ahead of the parents' session (though no chance to meet in person). I didn't ask quite all my questions due to time, but it was a fairly positive discussion and left me feeling a bit reassured. One thing I was pleased to hear is that the groups involved will not be having any sessions directly with pupils - all work with pupils will be done by the school, so they can control exactly what is shared. Also, they will be looking at changing some policies but there will be consultation done on these, so more opportunities for input.

She also said they were thinking of making some accessible toilets gender-neutral, but keeping the existing boys'/girls' toilets as they are (though we didn't get as far as talking changing rooms and so on), which sounds reasonable (as long as it does not mean the girls' will be open to anyone who just says they are a girl, but it didn't come across as though that was the intention).

Also she mentioned they had had a couple of gender-questioning children already who they had had to support through this, but both had ended up desisting - I found this reassuring too as it means a) they'll be well aware many children do desist, and b) they have clearly given these children space to make up their own minds without too much pressure.

Overall it sounded as though they will be trying to take a common-sense approach as far as possible, which is good. We agreed on a lot of other things such as the need to address bullying, homophobic language and so on, so I don't think she has written me off as a horrendous bigot or anything , and we agreed to talk some more at the parents' session. In fact she mentioned they may be looking for some volunteers to help get involved with the plans later on, so who knows....

I also plucked up courage and approached a parent I know on the parent council to raise this with him too. It was all pretty new to him, but again we had quite a good chat, and he asked for some more information so I've sent him some links (including the transgendertrend resources etc). So hopefully he can also raise things with school/parent council if necessary - again, I don't know to what extent he agreed with my concerns, but he didn't run away screaming "bigot!" either and seemed to listen with an open mind and ask relevant questions, so that also seemed quite positive.

So I'm feeling a bit more optimistic now but will see how the parents' session goes later - I'll print off some info to take along as well hopefully (if I can get printer working....) and update after that. Thanks again for all your support, it definitely made it a bit less daunting to speak out!

Oh I also forgot to add that I made myself bring this up with DH again too (by asking whether he was thinking of going to the session), and when I outlined why I wanted to go and some of my concerns, if he didn't exactly agree out loud he did at least listen and not object. I think now it's coming a bit closer to home, he may be starting to see my point more. So I'm hoping even if we're not 100% agreed yet, then at least we're not entirely opposed and he's becoming a bit more open to discussion. Also good news hopefully!

That sounds quite positive!

That really does sound positive, having a third gender neutral space is the ideal option imho.

That sounds great. The thing is, most schools will work this out in sensitive and appropriate ways - schools are very used to dealing with the latest challenge / initiative / social change and with some sensitive / appropriate support.
It's only with transgender issues that a this government has recommended political pressure groups as the 'experts' and they are the ones coming up with inappropriate child-hostile practices and policies. If everyone wasn't so frightened of them we could have some constructive discussions and support children wisely.

Just updating again....

I did go to the meeting, but didn't feel it went that well. It was meant to be a drop-in over a longer period, but I think most people must have gone earlier as I was pretty much the only one there when I managed to get there after work.

The downside of this was it ended up with 3 members of staff, one person from one of the organizations involved, and me all talking together. But I think they had already been through some of the "training" sessions with the org, and one of the staff members in particular seemed to have very much swallowed the whole manifesto and didn't seem at all open to other concerns. The other two I think might have been more open-minded but I didn't get much chance to speak with them directly due to this lady. (The representative of the group was actually very nice and I think we could have had a good chat even if we disagreed on some things - and I'm sure we would have agreed on a lot of things, at least on the LGB parts if not so much all of the T). So I did feel a bit outnumbered and "talked at".

We were also a bit limited for time, so couldn't cover everything I would have liked, and we got rather stuck on the changing-rooms-and-toilets stuff for a lot of it. Unfortunately although the staff member I spoke to about this before seemed to suggest they were looking into "third space" options, the other lady seemed to be very much on board with the organisations' line that any pupil saying they were trans must automatically be allowed in their preferred changing rooms etc and that if any girls (or boys) were uncomfortable THEY must be the ones to move - no consideration of puberty, periods or anything else nor of the risks of them feeling they had to pretend to be OK with it even if not really comfortable. (I wish I'd had the chance to ask more about how this would apply on school trips etc. too).

They also talked about some projects that the org would be doing with small groups of children, although the first staff member I spoke to before seemed to say they wouldn't be working directly with the children. And it seems they ARE using the guidance for schools which one of the orgs had produced, and which is very heavy on the unquestioning TA stuff...

We did agree that making the uniform gender-neutral was a good move though. But overall I left feeling doubtful that I'd made any difference and a bit concerned they will have put me down as bigoty mcbigotface (though the head did have a quick word with me on the way out and she did come across a bit more understanding of my concerns, if not necessarily convinced). Though it's possible some of my points may have sunk in to make a difference later on, I suppose...

Anyway I think I will have to follow up with an email and ideally some links to alternative resources/info - I wanted to take some in but couldn't due to printer trouble - and then see where we go from there, and maybe also chat further to parents I know and the one who's on the parents' group who I already spoke to. But also going to take my time a bit and make sure to have a few "nights off" thinking about it in between, as I found the whole thing was getting me a bit stressed out.

How very depressing... but predictable.
You may wish to consider a formal letter to the Head teacher asking for clarification? Although I am always slightly reluctant to focus on the changing rooms and toilets issue, the following can be quite powerful in getting Headteachers to think again:
The Equality Act allows for the provision of sex segregated sexes and the rights of both sexes to privacy, dignity and safety. It is likely that those girls (and boys) from backgrounds where their religious beliefs will not allow them to share showers and toilets will withdraw from PE and possibly from school. Girls suffering from dysmenorrhea who want privacy while they deal with effects of their heavy periods will not access toilets if teenage boys are present (no matter how they identify). Obese girls, shy girls, girls embarrassed by their bodies will stop undressing for PE in mixed sex changing rooms and it is likely that their attendance at school will suffer. This of course will also apply to the shy, obese and embarrassed boys. While of course the school should support gender non conforming children, this should not be at the expense of the rights and welfare of other groups of children. The school must find ways of providing appropriate gender neutral facilities while allowing others to maintain their rights to safety, privacy and dignity etc.