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Original poster

Woman murdered in my community

40 replies

pigsknickers · 23/12/2017 20:24

It's been in the national news today - a man stabbed a young woman to death on Thursday while she was at work in Aldi. She was thirty. She had a young daughter. Her name was Jodie. Apparently he was her ex.
Now I didn't know this woman personally, I'm not trying to be a "grief thief". But like many local people, I'm reeling with shock at this horrible thing. It doesn't feel appropriate to get my angry feminist rant on irl so I've come to do it here...
Another fucking man acting out his hatred of women brutally (and in this case publicly). Another family devastated; a child left without a mother. Another fucking statistic. And while there's plenty of anger locally, once again there's no mention in any media (that I've come across) that Jodie is another victim of this epidemic - of male violence against women - that our society is in the grip of. I just feel so sick and angry, and sad.

OP posts:
Amatree · 23/12/2017 20:30

It's awful. Truly horrible.

I didn't know until now that he was her ex but it doesn't surprise me at all. I was talking to my Dad about that case yesterday and said I bet it'll be a domestic abuse situation. It so horribly often is.

However, the media reporting may well be censored for legal reasons so don't assume that motive isn't mentioned because no one cares. I'm sure many others will have read between the lines too and thought exactly what I did.

So desperately sad for her family.

passmethewineplease · 23/12/2017 20:30

It wasn't actually her ex it was her mum's ex boyfriend. Absolutely awful. And like you say another victim of this epidemic. Seems as though he wanted to hurt his Ex the worst way possible witbout directly hurting her.

Evil.

I feel for her family. Her husband. Her daughter. Sad

boredofmyoldname · 23/12/2017 20:30

I've seen it mentioned several times on the news today, the relevant facts have been published/spoken. A 44yo man has been arrested and charged on suspicion.

As he hasn't been proven guilty (I'm not disputing it but in legal terms) and faced a fair trial the media will be unable to discuss the motive or relationship until they're authorised to do so by the police.

lolaflores · 23/12/2017 20:36

The case is awful and althought the details are to be thrashed out in court, it is alright for women to express their horror at the fate of an innocent women the victim of some man's resentment and rage.
I just wish it would not be so common. So workaday. Just stabbed to death in her place of work for no reason, simply because she was connected to another woman...go figure

brizzledrizzle · 23/12/2017 20:38

It's evil. There is no other way to describe it. I was also shocked by the man who was interviewed by a journalist and said he managed to get to the till and pay for his shopping before they shut the store.

donajimena · 23/12/2017 20:39

Thats fucking outrageous. The poor family.

Original poster
pigsknickers · 23/12/2017 20:40

Ah ok, her mum's ex. I heard it on the grapevine so wasn't totally sure. It doesn't feel right to share my views about it more widely at the moment, while people are so upset, but it's so frustrating that people don't join the dots up. I was discussing it with a friend earlier, and she admitted she's so used to hearing about men killing women that she didn't think about it in terms of hate crime before (which I'm not sure I did really, before coming on these boards).

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PaperBagPrincesa · 23/12/2017 20:40

I completely understand your anger and it is not inappropriate in any way.

I felt similar fury after clodagh hawes.

Abouttoblow · 23/12/2017 20:41

It was actually her mother's ex-partner not hers.
Doesn't make it any less horrific though.

Original poster
pigsknickers · 23/12/2017 20:43

brittle I didn't see that. For fuck's sake...just...argh. Violence against women is so normalised, isn't it? So boringly commonplace. I'm so glad that arsehole wasn't unconvenienced Angry

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TDHManchester · 23/12/2017 20:44

God only knows what motivated this man to commit this horrific crime.

thegrinchreaper · 23/12/2017 21:12

The community is reeling, such a shock. The nature of how awful it is- to have happened at work while she's going about her normal life, has made the headlines. That fact doesn't show indifference to me, or that it's normal or 'boring'. She isn't seen as a statistic, very much the opposite. A good woman, loving mother and wife. I think most people can see that it's male violence against a woman, it goes without saying.

brizzledrizzle · 23/12/2017 21:16

It was the man who first stopped the alleged murderer, thinking over it now, he was probably in shock and on autopilot.

Farahilda · 23/12/2017 21:18

"once again there's no mention in any media (that I've come across)"

Good.

Because it is sub judice, and reporting right now could prejudice a trial.

This is normal English procedure. Once the accused has appeared in court (as he has) there will be nothing until trial. This happens whether the victim is woman or man, girl or boy.

You can expect further reporting of the trial and around the time of verdict.

lunamoth581 · 23/12/2017 21:43

Women are allowed to express horror and dismay over male violence. Women
are allowed to vent their anger over yet another woman being murdered by a man. Women are allowed to be outraged at the way society ignores the problem of male violence.

What the OP, and the rest of the posters here, are expressing outrage over is not that this particular man isn't being tried and convicted in the press; but that this has happened over and over and over again and no one wants to connect the dots. No one wants to point out the obvious: men commit the vast majority of violence. And that you can't say that or express outrage about that or analyze that or suggest that society do something about that without someone popping in to say NAMALT. Or someone popping in to evoke the letter of the law and "innocent until proven guilty."

It's understood that not all men are like that. Saying most violence is committed by men (a statistically proven fact) is not saying that all men are violent. Saying that society should take violence against women more seriously and should take positive steps to prevent male violence is not saying that the legal system needs to thrown out the window or that the rights of the accused should be ignored.

I feel sick and angry and sad about this, too. And tired. So very, very tired that violence committed by men against women is so commonplace yet nothing is really being done to address the root causes.

Ashamedandblamed · 23/12/2017 21:50

You don't even have all the facts and what you do know was heard through the grapevine.

Yet you posted a thread about it. Could you not have taken two minutes to read the truth.

How distasteful.

boredofmyoldname · 23/12/2017 21:53

@lunamoth581 if that was geared toward me, I am angry that yet another woman has been murdered.

I am upset that yet another child is left without a Mother.

I am frustrated that some men seem to see women as a means to revenge.

BUT I was replying specifically to the OP's point about there being no mention of "Jodie being a victim of the epidemic of male violence". It's not hard to connect the dots here, although I also wrongly assumed that she had been murdered by an ex, and I fully agree that people should be angry and more needs to raise awareness of and should be done to stop male violence.

Regardless of how we feel about it the media are censored until the legalities are out of the way.

Farahilda · 23/12/2017 21:55

You can deplore it for all those who have been convicted. Of for whom trial is underway and some reporting is emerging.

But the OP is asking why reporting has vanished for this specific case. And that is the question that I answered.

And it will continue to be the factual answer. There are times in English law when reporting is suppressed. It is not anti-feminist to state the workings of the legal system when they are relevant to the issue in the opening ending post.

brizzledrizzle · 23/12/2017 22:02

It's a fact, supported by witnesses, that she was murdered by a man. What is not yet known is who the guilty person is. I don't have a problem with discussing the issue in general terms about violence to woman by unspecified men, where's the problem there ?

lunamoth581 · 23/12/2017 22:05

Sorry, boredwithmyoldname, that was more geared to toward the comment by Farahilda above me.

I agree with you about the rule of law. I agree we shouldn't try people in the press and that the accused has rights that need to be safe-guarded, and that proper legal procedures should be followed.

But I also agree with the OP here: And while there's plenty of anger locally, once again there's no mention in any media (that I've come across) that Jodie is another victim of this epidemic - of male violence against women - that our society is in the grip of. I just feel so sick and angry, and sad.

Jodie's case is one among many. There's a long history of cases like these. That have already been tried in a court of law. There's a pattern. Pointing out the pattern meets with resistance. That is what I'm trying to (probably poorly) convey.

Farahilda · 23/12/2017 23:21

'Pointing out the pattern meets with resistance.'

Yes, it's bound too, when it is muddled in with a specific and sub judice case.

There will be no media comment, as OP laments, not because of anything to do with a pattern, but because contempt of court can mean a fine or imprisonment.

It is also true that most men are not criminals. And that the majority victims of male violence are other men.

It is not anti-feminist to point out facts, even when they are inconvenient facts to the general point which I think posters intend. Which is appears to be 'Why is most violence perpetrated by men? What does that mean for society? How can it be changed?'

NotSupposedtobeHere · 24/12/2017 06:38

There is no other way to describe it

I call it gendercide. 2 women a week murdered by domestic partners or ex-partners. I’d count Ms Willsher as one of those women.

We live in a patriarchy. The “rule of the father” in which women are still considered largely goods and chattels.

NotSupposedtobeHere · 24/12/2017 06:40

It is also true that most men are not criminals

However, it is also true that men as a class profit from the violence perpetrated against women as a class.

BeakyPlinder · 24/12/2017 06:50

It's just awful I was so shocked when I read about it as it was such a public attack. You are justified in feeling the way you do about violence against women. I remember thinking something similar when Jo Cox was murdered.

Original poster
pigsknickers · 24/12/2017 06:56

Thank you, luna, you understand exactly why I made this post. I don't believe I've written anything at all distasteful. I got something wrong - I hadn't seen any official news updates at that point; my post was about my feelings about male violence towards women and how it is so woven into the fabric of society. My point still stands.

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