What am I? Confused and interested.

[confusedhelpme]

I have never considered myself a feminist.

But what am I?

I am fiercely independent. I am financially stable. I have always worked. I am a lone parent (father never been around). I believe woman should of course vote and I have my own political views.

I bring my son up to respect everyone.

I hate the thought of relying on a man for happiness.

However, I want a man to open a door for me, I still open doors for my elders.

I think I'm rather confused!

Just interested to know if I am actually a feminist or I've NO idea what I am talkng about

Masculinity is seen as the positive in the culture and femininity is seen as the negative

Yes I agree but I also see situations where the reverse is true. Particularly in the education system, feminine behaviour is seen as good behaviour.

OP " I believe woman should of course vote"

I had to check what century it was when I read that.

People seem to think "feminist" is bad, have you been influenced by that maybe?

OP where do you think you got the right to vote, to own property, to get an education/professional training, to not get sacked when you ģet married or pregnant, to get credit without your husband's signature, to be paid equally to men for doing the same job, to be considered a legal person in your own right and not the property of your father or husband? Do you think that just "happened"?

I think there’s a longstanding belief that feminism means more than equality. That feminism involves putting down men. Even without this notion women are generally socialised to be conformists (to a patriarchy) so even wanting equality doesn’t sit easily with some. Perhaps that’s you too OP?
It is definitely a process as said by guardianLions A lot of what she said resonated with me.

@confusedhelpme
I hoped we all helped you to focus on your confusion and are confused no longer : )

If you have any more questions, don't be afraid to ask!

We are here for you!

Thank you @AsMenDclaredWomenTheirInferior

@ladyballs .... how am I disingenuous. I was asking questions!?!

OP we get a lot of trolls and Men's Rights Activists on here so some people will be suspicious, if you saw what we see here regularly, you'd know why, so please don't take it personally

so how do you feel on the history of feminism? is there a reason you're nervous to call yourself a feminist?

What Nyx said @confusedhelpme

confusedhelpme
I do believe men and woman are not equal biologically, for example a man is physically stronger than me.

Its not that you dont believe men and women are equal, its that you recognise men and women are not identical. 'Equal' does not mean 'the same'. It means of equal value.

Yes the average man is physically larger and stronger than the average women. Its why they compete separately in sports that rely on strength.

Irk Thank you for the equal/identical thing. I have been trying to find a way to articulate this for years but couldn't find a way to do it concisely.

@ladyballs

Yes I have read a lot of female accounts on the holocaust that is committed against them.
China, India, Congo, Honduras, it's all across the world and here to of course.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jewish_women_in_the_Holocaust

@formerbabe
Masculinity is seen as the positive in the culture and femininity is seen as the negative

"in the education system, feminine behaviour is seen as good behaviour."

Sorry but I am not certain what you mean by this, so can you clarify what this feminine behaviour is that is seen as a positive?

Sorry but I am not certain what you mean by this, so can you clarify what this feminine behaviour is that is seen as a positive?

Being quiet, sitting still, listening, being calm...all seem as good behaviour and traditionally seen as feminine rather than masculine behaviour.

Girls outperform boys in schools now so I certainly think it's an issue.

Being quiet, sitting still, listening, being calm...all seem as good behaviour and traditionally seen as feminine rather than masculine behaviour.

Those were always the expectations in education, even back in the times girls were not allowed to attend.

formerbabe

"Being quiet, sitting still, listening, being calm...all seem as good behaviour and traditionally seen as feminine rather than masculine behaviour."

TBH you seem to be describing a monastery of monks?

Nah that is not a feminine thing, it's an imposed thing.

rosaliegilbert.com/manners.html

"I want a man to open a door for me"

Yeah I find this weird. I open doors for people and people open doors for me. Its polite and usually who ever gets to the door first should do it. Waiting for a man to do it is just odd really. Poor weak women struggling with the door......

@scottishdiem
The Art Of Chivalry and the ultimate catch.

Sharon Osbourne wrote
"When I was skinny in the eighties guys would hit on me all the time. They'd go out of their way to make conversation with me. They'd offer to put my bags in the overhead compartment on planes.

When I weighed 107 pounds, they'd be fighting over each other to help me at the baggage claim. They'd ask to share a taxi.
But once I got a hundred pounds heavier. I'd be dragging my suitcase across the airport sweating, my dress sticking to me and nobody would lift a finger.
I enjoyed the attention of being skinny but it was bittersweet.
I'd think to myself, you fucking jerks. when I am fat you do't give me the time of day."

When Sharon lost her weight, the men all came running back to offer her their help and when some guy at an airport offered to help her with her luggage she told him to just
"Fuck Off.!"

It's always fun (well I think it is!) to have a go at a "what kind of feminist am I" quiz. You may find your metaphorical home, or you may spend the entire quiz thinking "wtf?", but it'll give you some clue :)

How I do love ye olde "feminists hate men who hold doors" canard, it never stops being funny.

Do you really need the label?

Some of my views are feminist and some are quite old fashioned really in comparison. I guess that's what makes us who we are.

No I don't need a label
@doobadodobedoey

Here's one :)
www.playbuzz.com/christopherwallace10/what-kind-of-feminist-are-you

(Not with the aim of finding a label, just with the aim of seeing the variety of possible responses that still come under a form of feminism)

The faces you pull when....