Examples of The 50:50 Fallacy please...

[BertrandRussell]

As in "Oh, we split the jobs equally- I cook and clean-he puts up shelves and mows the lawn. We play to our strngths"
A good one on another thread today- the woman changes all the nappies-the man deals with sick.
Any more?

My brother (in his 40s) moved in with his girlfriend not long ago. My mother commented to me that it gave her more time because she now does his shopping and washes/irons his clothes (I had not been aware but apparently mum used to do this for him on a weekly basis).

He and his girlfriend both work full time but her hours/level of responsibility is slightly more than his. I asked why he needed a woman to do this for him and was told that it's just the way they share the jobs that need doing. She doesn't like driving at night so if they go anywhere when it's dark he drives the car (he doesn't drink so this would make sense anyway) which is apparently a fair match for doing all the shopping and making sure he has clean clothes. Anyone want to bet who does the cooking and cleaning too?

One of the biggest problems with taking on all the domestic responsibilities is that you don't get to retire from them.

FIL retired from his job 30 years ago and MIL's workload actually increased at that point as he was at home most of the time. He preferred home-cooked meals (but yet couldn't cook himself) so she started cooking 3 meals per day then. Every day was about preparing, cooking, cleaning up. Then do it again. Then do it again.

And I think he lived for so long precisely because he was so well-looked after by her.

Now he has passed away, she finally gets to have a retirement. At 85 years old.

Not 50:50 fallacy exactly but it is interesting to ask which partner cleans the toilet.

My dh is of the opinion that he 'did everything' domestically around the time of our children being tiny babies. Yes you were having to pull your weight dh because I was breastfeeding every three hours day and night you stupid arse which was no doddle. And it wasn't 'everything' by the way, it was simply that there was so much more to do upon the arrival of a baby that there was plenty to keep two adults busy. But no, I must have imagined all the stuff I did. I am still cross about that comment all this time later.

Popchyk My DM was exactly the same when my father died. Luckily he was pretty organised (and as he had been terminally ill, time to plan), so had let me know all about his financial affairs. In practice it meant I managed my mum's finances for a few months and she gradually took them over - she's now more organised than even I am.

The targeting after my dad died was horrific. I was on maternity leave so spent a lot of time at my mum's house and basically ran interference, but it was a very very difficult time, and as you say, made a stressful time even worse.

She also now phones me / DH whenever she gets a letter / email that she's not sure about - there's a load of things she thinks might be a scam, but she's not good at working out what's genuine...DH deals with that mostly.

DH and I don't split things evenly, but he has arthritis in hands and other joints which do limit what he can comfortably do, and he does do what is reasonable, including a chunk of the mental work. eg Christmas, I might go out and actually buy stuff / do the cooking, but he's the one who looks into Christmas presents, thinks about what people want, discusses what we'll have for dinner, talks to family about where we'll be / who's coming over etc etc - in consultation with me, but it's his task to deal with.