General moan about work sexism

[Nanodust]

So I’ve spent the last 3 years working extremely hard on projects that were not very popular, required a variety of skills and patience but chose to play the long game as I knew they were the start of the direction things were going to go at work.
Finally a permanent job has come up and I have an interview, I applied and there is another candidate. However long time colleagues (all men) have been complaining, including directly to the boss that it is a stitch up and my job. One of them even called me from time off to have a go.
What is about bloody men and there inability to accept that a woman is capable and deserve an opportunity for constant hard, sometimes very unrewarding work. Oh, and don’t even get me started on the fact that I’m younger than most of them......

So they think it's unfair that you're likely to get the job and have told you this directly and complained to your boss?! Wow. What total bastards. I really hope that doesn't influence whoever's interviewing.

I’m not sure what you mean in your OP.
A “stitch up and my job” would mean to me that you’re a shoe in. Unless you mean that the other person who has or hasn’t applied thinks he should have the job.....

Sorry if I’m being thick, but I think you’re not being very clear.

Best of luck with it all anyway. It sounds to me like you need to shine a light on your own talents and skills more.

Yes, that is exactly what has happened. They have been absolutely okay for me to have done months and months of hard slog, difficult presentations and difficult conversations, but now there’s a chance to be officially linked to a lead on activies they are getting the knife in. One even complained that he always knew I would be his boss one day and it is a stitch up- I am not going to be his boss if I get this job. Just seems a general dislike of my potential to get any more progression. Until a meeting with my boss today I thought it was just one person, but now it’s his boss, there head of department and a couple of others. Absolute shits, I wonder if it would be the same reaction if I was a 45 year old bloke?

Sorry Ginny- to clarify, because I have been doing a lot of the work ‘unofficially’, I meet a lot of the criteria already. This likely stands me in a good place to meet a lot of the selection criteria, however this is based on picking up work no one wanted and was unpopular, until it became obvious it was needed. I don’t know who the other candidates are and feel nervous as I would any interview as I have no definite or secret ‘deals’ etc, they do think it’s being shoe horned in though.

So they're basing their idea it's a done deal on their sexist perceptions, not anything that's been said or done? It's outrageous that they feel comfortable enough to express this, to senior people and directly to you. They obviously feel that there'll be no comeback from it. Have you got any of these comments in writing, or acknowledged by someone else in writing?

It’s all been verbal, although I do have an email from one asking to speak to me in person about something. You are right though, there will be no come back likely. The other concern is hopefully if I am successful I will need support from these people to move things on, that will be a great experience I’m sure.
That’s why I raised this with my manager now as I want it to be recorded so that I can raise any childish issues these ‘boys’ have and hopefully be able to demonstrate that it has been premeditated.
I suppose this comes from working in a very male dominated area, not that, that makes it okay in ANY Way, but they seem to think it legitimises it . They’ve made comments about me being a feminist in the past, to which I have confirmed and then challenged them on, what is the problem with being a feminist?

I still dont get it.
You’ve worked hard to position yourself as the obvious candidate for this job.
They’re now saying that is clear to them.
So?
What’s the problem?

Well done by the way.

Thank you museumum, that’s my interpretation exactly. It has also happened many times with other colleagues, again mostly men and no comments have been made.
I have been told it’s just jealousy and to ignore it etc etc, but I’m not sure that’s good enough for me. It’s crap behaviour, completely unsupportive and underhand. I wonder the response I would receive if I behaved like that?

You need to go in like a wrecking ball OP.

Highlight all the experience you have and tell them what you’ve been doing for three long slogging years. Make a comprehensive list of all the extra work you’ve been doing. Go through it item by sodding item untill their eyes roll back in their heads. Year by year and job by job. Be persistent in blowing your own trumpet.

Personally, I always feel it’s a good idea to let any boss know how you’ve been going above and beyond the call of duty as it’s happening, and to constantly ask for a raise every month or so as you’ve been doing more work etc.

Men bosses respond very well I find to demands for more money. In a way money is the way they keep score. If you’ve been doing all this extra work for nothing, without letting them know, well, you've learned a valueable lesson, but this needs to stop now.

Don’t hide your light under a bushel girl.
Tell the world how great you are and demand twice the money, if you’re doing all that extra work.
It’s always worked for me, but then I have more chips on my shoulder and balls that most men I know.

You need to put your dukes up and fight for that job. Use your head. Keep you voice low. Pause often, with meaningful glances, and don’t get sidetracked or let anyone interrupt you. Whatever you do, don’t take no for an answer. Bring supporting material into any interview.

If you don’t get the job, threaten them with constructive dismissal. Contact an employment solicitor.
Keep a record of all the shit you’re going through. All comments and gripes made by all the boys. Tell them they have made it difficult for you to be the boss because of all the bitching. Let the boss know that some of the lazy men have told you to your face they won’t have you as boss.
Demand 100% support from management, and retraining for those sexist pigs.
Add another 20% onto the salary.
All this is to be negotiated at the interview. Call their bluff. Be ready to say No and walk.

Personally, I’d look elsewhere. It sounds too toxic.
Contact a recruitment agency with all you extra skills added to your resumé, and finally, get an agent to negotiate a much better remuneration package.

Demand a very, very good redundancy package. Tell them you’ll work for them as a consultant at a much higher day rate if they find the men don’t pick up the slack like you did, untill they’ve got someone good enough who doesn’t mind the toxic atmosphere and laziness.

This gives you time untill you’ve found something else where you’re supported and there’s clear progression and support for you and other women.

Keep us posted.

Ginny- you sounds fantastic! It’s funny you mention money, they all seem to mention the grade of the new post, not necessarily the work!

It’s right what you say though, the whole thing has spurred me on and I actually think it will have a positive impact on my performance at interview- just to prove them all wrong.

I want to be there boss one day so they can see that they are not good enough and I can do- an end to all the last minute late meetings, knowing I have childcare commitments etc! Don’t get me started on that, my mantra has always been don’t explain don’t complain.

Just dissapoitned at the almost immediate employee relations breakdown with colleagues I’ve had for years now that I might be getting ahead, finally and worked hard for and well deserved. Screw them all.

Thankfully I have some fantastic female colleagues who more than make up for the male majority.

Not sure I will have quite your confidence to tell them to get lot, but hopefully when I am successful at interview I will have some fun dishing out order 😀👍🏼

"Demand a very, very good redundancy package. Tell them you’ll work for them as a consultant at a much higher day rate if they find the men don’t pick up the slack like you did, untill they’ve got someone good enough who doesn’t mind the toxic atmosphere and laziness."

Solid, solid advice. Great post in general Ginny, hope it will help OP!