Template letter about trans lessons in schools?

[TheGoalIsToStayOutOfTheHole]

Hi, I have been searching online for this and can't find it, just wondering if one even exists?

I have been concerned for a while but my husband has started getting very obsessed with this trans thing due to a kid in his daughters class deciding he is actually a girl and apparently he is now changing in with the girls, which is distressing DSD. We had a very long conversation with her at the weekend and DH rang her school today to tell them that no way was she going to change infront of boys and its disgraceful that they expect her to (she is at the age where she is only just starting to develop, and only started her periods a month ago). It has apparently been decided that she can use the teachers loos and change in the staff room. Which is not really a good resolution but is probably the best we can hope for with the current state of things.

He has all weekend been ranting about schools doing this kind of thing. So I told him about the trans lesson thing that is going round schools that I have read about on here, where basically teen girls are blamed for the actions of middle aged men and such. Now, he mentioned this whilst on the phone to the school and they said they could not withhold any lesson thats 'on the curriculum' and would not speak about it anymore. but surely this is not on the curriculum?!

So what I would like to know, is if there is maybe a letter somewhere I can use to send into the school to withdraw the parents consent for these ridiculous lessons. DHs youngest son is very impressionable and is also fairly feminine and honestly, DH is a bit worried that he will be convinced that he is actually a girl rather than just being a boy with feminine interests which he is happy with at the moment.

I am not really very good with words as you can probably tell from this garbled post, and have no idea what to include in this letter or even what the actual name of the lesson is. So hoping that it does exist somewhere, as surely a lot of parents are not wanting their kids learning this nonsense..

Thank you Stephanie. I'm in Scotland and I really want to challenge my local school over the new guidelines, but you know what, I'm actually quite scared to. I have a 9 year old boy who is the only lad in school with longish hair, and who loves pink unicorns. He is not trans but as a kid who still believes in Santa and the tooth fairy, I don't want the subject raised at all - and the guidelines contain the threat of reporting to social service any parents who don't go along with affirming trans nonsense. I just don't want to bring any attention to my family. How sad is that!

I think my tactic will be to go along to the next parents/school council meeting and see if I can raise awareness. Safety in numbers.

pencils, "non-statutory" does indeed mean that it doesn't have to be taught. That has changed in practise though as I can't see any school getting through ofsted/isi without pshe in some form (especially British Values). The pshe association are amazing in their determination that pshe is actually important. I have name-changed for this, but if you have any questions on how pshe works I will try to answer on this thread, or please PM me as I'm currently head of pshe at my school.

Marking place!

Oh God thank you so much for everything you're doing StephanieDA and others.

I'm too fucking cowardly to start sharing stuff like this willy-nilly [snurk] but I try to read everything I can, and I'm so behind you all.

Thank you.
Please let this all be resolved before my daughter goes to school...

Thanks jemimapuddleswan, I do have a question - do parents have a right to withdraw their child from any part of PSHE or just from the non-statutory parts of SRE?

TheGoalIsToStayOutOfTheHole

Is this thread helping? It’s a lot to get your head around.

The poster StephanieDA is Stephanie Davis Arai who runs the website transgendertrend, mentioned above.

She knows that schools are being given information by trans pressure groups, like Mermaids and GIRES which are full of veiled threats and deliberately leave out all the relevant legal bits that you can use to ensure your DSD has a sex segregated changing room

So your school will probably be in a big panic. They know this is going to cause trouble, but they don’t know what they can do about it. Apart from shove all the girls into a broom cupboard to get changed.

It’s worth spending some time on her website and looking at various links on here to the relevant parts of the law.

As Stephanie says, she is in the middle of formulating guidance for schools that takes into account all children. She is keen to help reach a situation where the needs of everyone is met. Whilst it not being at the expense of girls.

Your school would probably be grateful for some kind of working solution. That means they don’t get in the neck from parents of girls, or transactivists.

When they realise that, currently, the law is on their side, they can point that out to anyone who takes exception.

It’s brilliant that you’re standing up your DSD. It’s bloody awful that she didn’t want to tell you for fear of being thought in the wrong.

Bide your time. Get the information together. Remain calm.

And feel out other parents. Try and recruit them. The more of you there are, the better.

We are all behind you.

@DJBaggySmalls do you happen to know from
what age does the sex equality act go from? As in which year in primary?

We had a child who wanted to be a girl, from what I remember to respected everyone’s rights and let them change in the large walk in cupboard we luckily had, girls went into another space to change. (For info, as a teen he later identified as gay).

Ekphrasis
The Equality Act (and most acts) will apply to all ages of children and all public services, including schools. Unless there are any age specific issues (e.g. age specific curriculum requirements in legislation etc) then equality legislation applies to all.

I’m trying to work out, for other reasons, what age you might expect primary children to change separately age wise, boys and girls. As this must apply there. I think schools tend to be individual?

Ekphrasis,
For that you would need to look at the PE guidelines.
This is the guidance from the PE association, endorsed by the DfE which has been sent to all schools.
As it's a paid for document I can't see it but the link is to the guidance on safe practice in changing. It mentions dignity, decency and privacy and makes reference to primary schools finding spaces for the sexes, individuals or small groups to change.
It fudges many of these issues and that is often because schools lack the facilities to provide the statutory 2 hours per week provision - if they insisted for example on changing rooms in primary schools then many schools just wouldn't be able to meet that.

www.afpe.org.uk/physical-education/wp-content/uploads/Changing_provision_2012-1.pdf

And yes you are correct, there is no specific guidance about age for children to change separately. In the guidance they mention 'upper primary'.

pencils, as I understand it, parents can, in theory, remove a child from any part of pshe. I haven't seen this happen in practise though.

Brilliant, thanks.

Ekphrasis As far as I know, the equality Act covers girls from birth.

However, the current conservative party isnt good at actually using it, for example with FGM. Which still takes place in the UK every year with no prosecutions.
And they still haven't given schools any guidance on how to deal with cases of rape and sexual assault.

I cant over state how bad things are for girls and women under this government.
www.thesun.co.uk/news/4644940/schoolgirl-forced-sit-class-with-own-rapist-arrest-attack/

PencilsInSpace

Strategic litigation sounds like a brilliant idea. I would happily donate if there was a body set up to do this.

We really need to enforce current legislation. Totally unreasonable for pressure groups to bully schools into breaking the law in order to promote their ideology.
Can you imagine the uproar if any other group did this.

StephanieDA

Thank you for all the work you do. Its clear you have the childrens best interests at heart, however the child 'identifies'.

This thread is definitely helping me organize my thoughts. I will wait for stephanie to publish the schools guidance in full before I proceed I think.

Turns out, so far there are 6 girls in my stepdaughters class who are currently using staff facilities. She expects it will be more by the end of the week. i can fully see it being that this 'trans girl' has the female area all to themselves and the girls all cramp in the staff room. At which stage the transgirl will complain that they are being treat differently, and wish to use the staff room with the girls too I bet

TheGoalIsToStayOutOfTheHole

At which stage the transgirl will complain that they are being treat differently, and wish to use the staff room with the girls too I bet hmm

Good God. You are probably right. Where is this going to end?

As an aside, I was struck by how you telephoned your DSD‘s mother and she agreed with you. It makes a change from threads where everyone is at odds with one another over the children.

To me, you sound eminently sensible and concerned.

Thank you for updating us. I hope that Stephanie’s guidelines give you some material with which to go to the school.

I get on better with DSDs mother than Dh does tbh. Everyone finds us weird as we are actually friends. When I first got with DH, after we moved in together (in my house) she was evicted and she and the kids actually lived with us for 6 months until she got on her feet. Everyone found it very strange and we were the topic of so much gossip in the area but I wouldn't have it any other way to be honest. It was a bit awkward to start with, but she had nowhere else to go. DH had given up his house, her family said they had no room (they don't help her at all..its awful really) and I would like to think if I had an ex-partner in dire need, he would have done the same thing.

She knew nothing about the lesson about transgender people that is doing the rounds at schools and was grateful I was so clued up on it. I sent her the links with the breakdown of it all (specifically the bits about young girls being blamed for grown men being nasty to a transkid). I have sent her loads and loads of mumsnet links to read and she is both happy with being 'in the know' and horrified at the state of things and how it all seems to be stealth.

This letter though, is pretty much all down to me. Both her and DH are dyslexic so its been decided that I am probably the best one to do it, though she is also considering seeing a lawyer about it all if the school start being very awkward.

As a side note, apparently a girl has came out as trans a few moths back. But is not requesting to use the male facilities. Which is entirely sensible to me. But this girl is being pressured into using the male areas (this is according to DSD mind, so its pretty much school gossip and may not be true) by friends. Its all just a huge clusterfuck.

It would be worth getting hold of all the relevant policies asap to give you plenty of time to read and then when Stephanie publishes her guidance you can quickly work out exactly what you want to challenge. Are you talking with other parents? There's strength in numbers

As a side note, apparently a girl has came out as trans a few moths back. But is not requesting to use the male facilities. Which is entirely sensible to me. But this girl is being pressured into using the male areas

Her sex is still female no matter how she identifies and she is still protected by the EA on that basis.

Something really alarming has just occurred to me. Prison guidelines say if someone has a GRC they must be housed in the estate corresponding to their new gender identity. With the exponential rise in TIFs and self-ID on the cards I can see this ending very badly.

I'm not talking to the other parents as I don't know any of them, we don;t actually live anywhere near her school and have nothing to do with the school really, they come to use after school on a Friday and go home Sunday night. DSDs mother is apparently trying to find out which ones have complained so far though and is going to try talking to them all.

If the trans girl was touchy feely to the girls then he may enjoy violating their boundaries

thegoal it sounds like your DSD is lucky to have you looking out for her but what a difficult situation for you all.

she has concerns about this boy as he has been very touchy feely with girls in the class before this random announcement of being trans

This is very concerning - could you talk to DSD and get more detail and see if it is something that could be reported? The school should be alert to every possibility of sexual harrassment / assault and I'd hope that #metoo would mean that girls would feel a bit more confidence speaking out. It seems clear the only fair option is for the trans child to change seperately. Why are ALL the girls expected to just swallow their discomfort / fear for the benefit of one other child? Why is one child more important than all the others? If 6 are already changing seperately obviously they feel at a minimum some distress at the situation.

What with Lily and Lila, and the 17 year old TIM who assaulted a six year old, and another poster a few months ago who posted an identical situation to this thread, right down to violating girls pre-transition, are we seeing the rise of teenage autogynephiles who are being turned into sociopaths by trans ideology?