Casual sexism - being an MD

[rightsofwomen]

The email I have just sent to an accountancy firm.

To whom it may concern,

I have recently set up my own Limited company. As a result I have been
inundated with letters from banks and accountancy firms, like yours.
While I appreciate this is a good way for you to find new clients, I
am afraid you lost any interest from me after the second word of your
letter, which is "Sir" ie Dear Sir....

I am astonished that you default to assuming an MD is male.

It is quite clear from my name ([obvious female name) that I am female.

Please correct this.

Best wishes,

[obvious female name]

I was hiring for a position recently. My name is obviously female and yet the number of covering letters addressed to 'Dear Sir' was pretty depressing. Helped weed the field though I guess.

I'd have gotten a serious bollockin' for changing anything dictated to me!

@hiddley I'm the CEO so it's not dictated to me, just sent as a template.

Assuming MD is medical doctor, surely the most stupid thing here is they could just refer to you as DrRights and you wouldn't have known they thought only men were doctors. If you are a managing director then yes they need to sort out the people entering data and get them to use their brains a bit more.

She is a managing director

We worked with a company recently. First 2 letters Dear Sir, fine I have a unisex name. A bit emm that it’s assumed the ‘boss’ is male but ok.

Then had to speak to them, and mentioned that I was a Ms and asked them to correct their data. The letters are by their nature personalised.

So sorry, I’ll sort that straight away.

Thought no more of it; next letter still Sir, mildly irked. Had another call about something else, mentioned it again, so sorry, will sort it now (em that’s what you said the last time...)

Then got a call from them asking to speak to Mr. Damn. Said it’s actually Ms.Damn, oh can I speak to the boss....😡😡😡

Yes we are a small business, and my DP is involved (I employ him) we do not share a surname. Nicely pointed out that Mr Damn my father is dead and the only other male they may have had contact is my employee.

Moved my business that day. If they can’t get who the decision makers name right why would I trust them???

That’s from a business point of view, but from a feminist point of view To me it’s equal to the broken windows effect, if you don’t address the small things, (being the boss does not equal male, if in doubt check or address both) people push and suddenly it’s a big thing.

I'm not only a manager but also in the tech sector with an engineering degree.

Quite frankly, I'd consider 'Dear Sir' an upgrade at this point. I get several emails and even letters addressing me as 'Mr Bitch' a week.

My first name is Madeleine and it's part of my email address in full!

OP, YANBU!

Reply. nb my name really could not be mistaken for a male name. It is a bit like Sarah Jane or Lucy May.
Good they replied though.

"Thank you for your email.

I very much appreciate you taking the trouble to contact us.

Rather than being a case of casual sexism, as we only do a handful of these mailshots at a time, instead of using the clumsy 'dear sir or madam', which would be the easy blanket approach, we instead try to manually identify the gender of the person concerned and address it accordingly, but unfortunately this approach runs the risk of getting it wrong, as in your case. I apologise for any offence caused.

Thank you again for your input and I trust that your new company is a success.

Have a great weekend.

Kind regards."