the use of non-binary pronoun 'they'

[sphinxminx]

Hey, first time posting, but long time lurking.

I just wondered if we could have a chat about the use of 'they' by feminist women/ lesbian women/ gender non-conforming people with vaginas because as a cis hetero woman and radical of sorts feminist I really do not like it? I know it really doesn't matter if I don't like it, I am definitely not a 'TERF' I actually hate that term though, I love that we live in a world that allows people to identify and present more and more as whatever gender they wish, however as someone who takes pride in being a woman and loves being inspired by women I then feel slightly 'sad'??? when women choose to distance themselves from being a 'she'. This is specifically with reference to Jill Soloway and Eileen Myles' brilliant manifesto which I just discovered today:

topplethepatriarchy.com/

They are fantastically inspiring, intelligent and wise women and yet their move away from the category woman puzzles and saddens me.

Back in the 80’s I taught p/t in a Women’s studies dept in a uk University. We were encouraging the use of the gender neutral pronoun “they” in situations where the sex of the person was unknown or irrelevant - to replace the still widespread use of “he” to stand for “she”. Eg replace “Man is a tool making animal, he is able to ... “ with “a person is a tool making animal, they are able to ...”

It was not intended to be used here the sex of the person WAS known.

It’s got a long history - back before the 18thC (?) prescriptive grammarians decided that the male was inclusive of female it was commonly used. Dale Spender’s book “Man made language” was a must-read back then.

Thanks for the book recommendation, after a quick google it looks like Spender's theory is still relevant now. I think often there is a need to re-examine what was necessary reading 'back then' to remind us where we've come from and how much we have (not) achieved.

I completely agree about the use of they if sex/gender is unknown. I

I think the use of "they" is dehumanising, I find it deeply offensive.
There seems to be some objective to neutralise male and female- so that we can become "things".
There's something at work here and it's not good.

Heard of a woman taking a baby to a playgroup and referring to baby as "they"- it infers plural so is confusing to say the least and she may as well call baby an "it".
Then she dressed baby alternatively in pink and blue each week and calls this gender neutral- more like swinging from one gender stereotype to the next. Poor little one is going to be so confused. It's an adult projecting their ideology on a helpless newborn. I really feel like I've just had enough of this nonsense.