I’m really struggling to get on with my mum at the moment, and I think the reasons will be best understood and clarified over here.
Background: she became a housewife (her choice of description) when she was pregnant with me (first successful pregnancy). My DF is a product of his time - born in the mid 1930s; saw his role as financial provider, maintaining the house etc. Completely hands off parent, did no housework. She struggled a lot. I am the sole earner in my household; DH looks after our children while I’m at work.
DM can come out with some spectacular casual sexism at times, which I either brush off with attempts at wit, or ignore, or pull her up on. But (especially since DC2 was born) she’s been making comments about our set up which are upsetting me. This is where I risk becoming uncharitable and where I need help!
She makes pointed comments about me galavanting off to work and leaving DH at home. She is projecting her experience on to him, and casting me as the villain. I’m angry at my DF for having been so useless, cross with her for not seeing that NAMALT, and treading on eggshells trying not to say anything negative about our set up that gives her a chance to have a dig.
Can anyone help me process all this? And/or help me to be pleasant to my mum?