A man's behaviour treated as a disability when should have been treated as a fetish

[ItsAllGoingToBeFine]

www.cbc.ca/amp/1.4400306

"She believes that as soon as the university knew the student had what it terms an "atypical sexual drive that he may impose on non-consenting individuals" staff needed warning"

This article is not about transgender folk, but the phrase I quoted above really struck a note with how I feel about being forced to share spaces with AGP men for their safety. I think the article as awhile really shows up some issues with the way things are going regarding self-declaration. To me even if no physical harm is caused it is a bit disturbing to be involved in someone else's fetish.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine

Good Lord. I read that article with a growing sense of incredulity and, it has to be said, a little nausea.

Some creepy bloke with a sexual fetish, pretending he has a disability, and is required to wear a nappy because of it?

It was clearly self evident from the off. And those teachers were creeped out. And when they refused to participate they became fearful of his behaviour.

But the way the article is written, the neutral language that is used, and the way people appear petrified of condemning this behaviour is astonishing.

How have we got to this position where you can’t just turn round and say yeah he’s perv tell him to fuck off? Is it because we are in such litigious society and people are terrified of being sued?

If universities are meant to be 'safe places' then how on earth was he contributing to that?
Unbelievable that this dragged on for 2 years! This seems to be a chilling example of how eroding the boundaries of socially acceptable behaviour to allow fetishists to operate in plain sight compromises women's safety.

This seems to be a chilling example of how eroding the boundaries of socially acceptable behaviour to allow fetishists to operate in plain sight compromises women's safety.

This is IT.

In an effort to fall over themselves not to offend, people are allowing completely unacceptable behaviour to flourish.

I saw this article and completely saw the parallels between this persons fetish and AGP. Its the eroding of the rights of people to say - NO this is not right in my workplace/university over a single persons right to engage in any behavior they like, no matter what the social group thinks or feels.
It's like a mass GasLighting of women to endure any male behavior and to ignore our own instincts and inner voice - which is the very instinct which keeps us safe and should not be taught to be ignored.

I certainly will not teach my daughter to ignore her own instinct over the worry at being seen to be rude/impolite/bigoted to the "weird" person - as this is the thing that can help keep her safe.

And, yet again, it is women
who are being disadvantaged.

Every. Single. Time.

Good god. Canada seems to be particularly suceptible to this kind of nonsense, as long as someone, somewhere tells them this is the "progressive" thing to do.

Jesus fucking Christ.

A disability? The entitlement is beyond belief. Threatening with legal action for human rights violations - where do these men get the fucking nerve for this? Ooh I'm so angry.

Its annoying this happened in Canada, since they have gender self ID. How the hell did he get to demand he was dealt with by women?
Any male member of staff could have dealt with him, stated they were a woman and there would have been nothing he could have done about that.

I genuinely think I'll be buying the book The Gift of Fear for a number of my younger female relatives this Christmas. We are constantly expected to override our gut feelings to be NICE and this is the outcome - women's boundaries pushed further and further back.

But why would any member of staff need to ‘deal with him’?!? This is a university, he is a man in his 40s, presumably academically able to have been accepted as a student there. Then he claims he has a “disability” and claims he is 3(!) years old, and wants staff members to change his soiled adult nappy?!?

How the hell did he get to demand he was dealt with by women?

Exactly! How much louder do the warning bells have to ring?

A disability? The entitlement is beyond belief

The thing is though, is there a precise line between mental health issue and fetish? Everyone is tying themselves in knots trying to be polite and nice and inclusive - I can see how it might be hard to challenge someone in that situation, especially if they are disabled (as I presume this person registered as)

He shouldn't have been allowed in the university to begin with.

If self ID trumps material reality then he actually is 3 yrs old and not eligible to go to Uni. Of course you then have to let him go to kindergarten or whatever is the equivalent in Canada otherwise they are discriminating against trans-age people.

It will be interesting to see how far this self ID bullshit goes because boundary violators, by definition, will not be able to help themselves but to push it further and further.

Are fetishes mental illness? Perhaps. Do they require special accommodations under disability guidelines? Absolutely not.

There's obviously a back story here - but it's interesting that these women felt powerless in a country (Canada) where the rights of women appear to have been fatally compromised by their new laws?

his 'exceptionalness' says it all.

Its about the right to overturn boundaries and be indulged and supported in a fantasy identity that has a sexual drive, and uses other people willing or not. (And often reluctant women being involved makes it hotter.)

This has to be firmly stood up to. Equality is not a men's sexual rights movement.

I posted something on a thread only yesterday saying it was only a matter of time before we had age play people insisting their 'trans age' identity was openly accepted and indulged. Apparently I'm behind the times.

I remember watching a video of some jumped-up alt-right dude (yeuch, it’s so uncomfortable when opposing philosophies end up on the same ‘side’ of this) was countering the ‘transwomen are women’ argument. He asked the questioner how old they were - I think she was about 20. Then he asked, why aren’t you 60? Why couldn’t you be 60? It stumped that one at least.

Anyway, I’m trans-age, according to the cashier who just served me in Tesco. I’m 35 but present as a 20 year old who is required to produce ID to purchase her expensive bottle of plonk difference being, I’m just going around being me looking/feeling/being me, I’m not demanding to participate in, say, a mental health support group for 16-25 year olds. Although maybe I should, there’s bog all for us proper grown ups.

Sorry.... MASSIVE tangent. Not sure what my point was.

I don't understand why anyone ever entertained the idea that academic staff should be asked to provide personal care to any student. If the student is disabled then they may need appropriate assistance from a carer, but that's nothing to do with the university and the academic staff. It's bizarre. He should have been given a warning and then removed from his course if he continued with the inappropriate behaviour.

That's made me feel quite nauseous.

It makes me come over all Daily Mail and want to rant about political correctness gone mad. Because that is fucking absurd on every single level. But it's the logical conclusion to the prevailing mentality that above all one should not judge.

I think we should judge a lot more when it comes to boundary invading fetishists pressuring women into participating in their fantasies and everyone else just nodding along. Happy to judge that all day long.

That link makes for totally sickening reading. But not unsurprising considering the logical conclusion of self ID really. I just don't know how his complaints have been taken seriously to get to that stage. He ID's as three years old? I mean come on, I'm proud of my three year old if she wipes her arse properly or recognises a couple of letters. How the fuck has this person been accepted on to a degree course. And even considering a physical disability...why the dummy and baby outfits and insistence upon a female changing him. Utter pervert.

But why would any member of staff need to ‘deal with him’?!? This is a university, he is a man in his 40s, presumably academically able to have been accepted as a student there. Then he claims he has a “disability” and claims he is 3(!) years old, and wants staff members to change his soiled adult nappy?!?

They don't. The university has to be accessible to students with physical disabilities but it has no obligation to provide personal care - or, if it has, it would be to allow him to find his own carer to accompany him on campus.

I think that this man has a mental health disorder and thus is likely to have a disability. This behaviour need not be a sexual fetish (there are mental health therories/disgnoses that can explain this behaviour and it is not always linked with a sexual kink, but it may be), but it is certainly disturbing, and for his own sake as well as everyone else's he needs psychiatric evaluation.

However, if (clearly!) he has a mental health problem and thus a disability, then he needs appropriate care and treatment (and likely not in the community or by the community) and certainly this behaviour should not have been ignored and enabled or appeased. A reasonable adjustment for his disability would be allowing him to take time of for treatment and to return to his course when he felt well again, not playing along a changing a diaper as if he were asking for a wheelchair ramp.

I cannot understand why the man was not sectioned for his behaviour and grip on reality - he would be in this country I am sure. I think he has been failed by the Canadian health service to be honest and the women were also failed because no one took action.

I could be completely wrong, but give that Canada has a pretty good universal healthcare system, I'd speculate that the fact he hasn't been sectioned is because he doesn't have a mental illness.

With favourable interpretation, I guess most extreme fetishes could be classed as a mental illness technically. However, this man is seemingly capable of studying for a degree and submitting work in the first place, and argue his human rights when he doesn't have his bum changed for him or is refused his requests regarding women, so it seems unlikely to me that he is genuinely infantilised. And if it were true, why would he need to only be handled by women? I could of course be completely mistaken but he can't have it both ways - if this is a genuine disability then most likely he's not well enough to study for a degree (I'm disabled myself and wouldn't be well enough to do another degree!). At the very least he should have insisted on his own career rather than expecting academic staff to handle these issues. Are we really expected to believe that a severely mentally ill person with this kind of condition would attach a photo of themselves with a soiled nappy to an essay submission? He's not just trying to get through a degree with a mental illness, he's actively finding ways of including others that are unnecessary.

Spot on, Tammy. kinka I absolutely get where you’re coming from - and it’s typical of us women, ingrained into us, to attempt to look for all the possible, more favourable explanations for men’s abusive behaviour. But it just doesn’t add up. If this man was suffering from a psychotic delusion that he was a toddler, I sincerely doubt he could function on a high enough level to submit essays, photos, cite human rights, attempt to manipulate women into colluding with his delusions...even feed, clothe himself or attend lectures on time... nope, I don’t accept that he genuinely believes he is a toddler. He knows he is a man, but he wants specifically women to treat him as a toddler because it fulfills a sexual desire. Now that’s fine, if the women are consenting and fully aware of what they are participating in. It’s not fine to attempt to force his fetish on women in their place of work (or indeed, anywhere).
Noone’s going to deny that fetishes can have deep-seated psychological roots and may indeed represent a way of dealing with psychological trauma..... but they are not psychoses, there is a difference.