My son's Y3 homework

[AngryBurds]

I am not really sure if this is the right place so post but could do with some advice.

My son has come home from school with year 3 homework (he is 7) for English in which he has to imagine he wakes up as a girl. And apparently tomorrow theyve got to imagine that theyre a girl at school. thetopic is gender sterotyping.

In fact, I have a huge problem with this not least because my boy goes against all male stereotypes and is totally unaware of this, or was until we discussed the homework tonight.

In the end I instructed him to write what would actually happen ie not much as girls at his schoolwear trousers: he is into art, no change there, and he completed the homework stating basically that his gender is irrelevant to him.

Am i being joyless old cis-human about this or would this annoy you? Is this part of the NC? I think that 7 is way to young to be focussing on gener stereotypes even if its well intentioned because at this age, kids are happily unselfconscious and I would prefer to delay this for a few years. I think even if he were a typical boy, id still be very cross that there's any need for this sort of education at this age.

I'm finding this and some of the OP's other comments bizarre. Lego is a boy trope? Being female and into outdoor sports is worthy of a special mention? Being into art is a female trope?

Do you have primary aged children lass? Because I'm surprised you're surprised.
Perhaps Argos have a gender neutral stance on toys (great!) but click on children's arts and craft sets in amazon and tell me that's neutral.

Also, why do you think girls' participation in sports drops off a cliff in the teenage years?
We're not making this stuff up.

I agree with Lass about the arts and crafts stuff. Just did as jellyfrizz suggested and searched arts and crafts sets on Amazon and the only gendered one on the first page was a headband making set. On the second page there were a few more: jewellry, fairies. But still in the minority.
I don't dispute that crafty pastimes can often be seen as "girly", but to say all the craft sets are pink, not blue is just....not at all true.

I was just about to say that I bet they're reading Bill's New Frock. I also have a seven-year-old son and if he had this homework, I'd get him to think about the limitations imposed on girls because of their clothes, or the expectations of their behaviour (I'd not phrase it like that, obviously!).

Because it's all very well to say in theory nothing would change, but it's not completely true, is it? My son can roll around the floor at playtime without worrying that anyone will see his pants, he can hang upside down on the monkey bars, he can stomp in puddles in his chunky shoes without spending the whole day with wet feet, and that's just to do with the clothes. I'm sure there are other things.

I've often thought I'd like to spend the day as a man, just to see what it's like. But a proper man - one that takes up too much space in the world because he's been brought up like that - not as I'd be. Which is obviously impossible, but nice to imagine.

Do you have primary aged children lass? Because I'm surprised you're surprised

My husband has several primary aged child relatives- his default setting for presents is crayons, colouring books, paints etc. He seems to manage perfectly well finding non gendered stuff from local shops. But I suppose if you are determined to find sexism everywhere then you might be focussing on that.

I can see why school might think this activity is a good idea, but at that age tbh I think it's a bit misguided. It is probably more likely to draw attention to gender stereotypes rather than challenge them.

Young children are surely only going to grow up without gender stereotypes by seeing equality in action around them, not by being told by a teacher that actually football isn't for boys and ballet isn't for girls (when their experience tells them otherwise). The school should be making very sure it doesn't reinforce any stereotypes itself, rather than trying vainly to impose gender ideas on the kids when they are to young to be aware of the implications.

Agreed Eolian. It seems an absurd exercise.

I think this would be an excellent exercise for a group of 11 year olds. For 7 year olds not so much.

I am going to see his teacher. She wrote a fairly snarky retort in his marked homework about not bothering to use his imagination (he had said that a gender change would make no difference to him as he was "a human, not just a boy" - not a bad point for a 7yo to make. )

What do I say? Dont want to be awkward with her, but I really think this was misguided excercise. And...I dont want to be "that" parent.....

If she's made a comment in his book, that's a good excuse to start a conversation without being "that parent". Keep it neutral ( "I saw your comment about DS's homework. Just wondered what you were looking for, because he found it quite a confusing task." ) And see where the conversation heads.

I would have been fine with this as homework in Y3 - it's a good starting point for empathetic creative writing, an opportunity for the teacher to challenge gender stereotypes, and a chance to discuss gender-based discrimination.

I can see how the current transnarrative that's being played out could distort it. But I don't think I would assume this would happen.

I think the intention behind the homework - to make children aware of stereotypes and encourage them to challenge them - is good. But tbh the assignment is a bit strange. Some children don't have gender stereotypes at 7 and it seems counter-productive to ask them to come up with stereotypes and then to challenge them. What would be the point? I think a different kind of assignment with the same educational aim would have been better - maybe watching a children's movie that touches on the subject and then talk about it. I understand the teacher wants them to have a sort of personal experience to draw from, but one day wouldn't be enough for that anyway.
I have to say though, as mums we tend to overthink all of this while our children forget about the whole experience the next day I think one strange homework on gender stereotypes wouldn't affect a child permanently so if it was me, and if it was just this once, I would let it go.

I think one strange homework on gender stereotypes wouldn't affect a child permanently

I wouldn’t be so sure.

I remember clearly, at primary school, a student teacher sitting us down for what I imagine was some teaching training research project or other, and getting us to tick boxes to indicate whether we thought jobs on a long list were for men, women or either.

Coming from a progressive milieu I ticked ‘either’ for every single one, because I had been told, and believed, that men and women could do any job.

I became aware of my class teacher being summoned and them peering over my shoulder, whispering to the effect that I must have ‘guessed’ the point of the exercise and be giving answers accordingly. It made me very sceptical about social science.

And I’m still pissed off about it thirty years later

But tbh the assignment is a bit strange. Some children don't have gender stereotypes at 7 and it seems counter-productive to ask them to come up with stereotypes and then to challenge them. What would be the point?

That is a very good point.

i was going to let it drop but she was kind of arsey in her comments and the truth is, I feel I have to stand up for him now as well as get on my soapbox

I get the point of it. But not at 7.

I once sat through a hugely depressing y3 class assembly. Each child in the class stood up in front of the whole year group and assembled parents and said what they wanted to be when they group up. The boys all said footballer/policeman/fireman. The girls all said teacher/model/dancer. With the exception of one small girl who wanted to be a clown (which got a big laugh). Nothing was said or done, either in the assembly or in the planning for the assembly, to challenge the stereotyping.

Most seven years olds are quick to embrace and reinforce rules, it is up to adults such as teachers to encourage them to broaden their ideas. I hope this is what your Ds' teacher is planning to do. It does sound like your DS' experiences of gender stereotyping are somewhat exceptional.

I went to a Y4 assembly where the boys demonstrated a model railway they had made to enter a competition and the girls were being cheerleaders for them. I think a lot of primary schools just don't think about this stuff.

i know, but she has prompted him to question why he is different from other boys which is presumably not the aim. Hes all about unicorns, rainbows and his teddies and already feels very different from the other boys in his class. he dreads every party - theyre all football themed.

I don't get what is wrong with actually confirming to gender stereotypes if that is naturally what the child wants. I'm sick of my DD feeling that being 'girly' is seen as a bad thing and that any girl with a 'personality' would rebel against this. There are so many people projecting and second guessing the intention of the teacher on this thread. It's a harmless exercise that requires a child to try and see a situation from another perspective.

Oh I wasn't disagreeing with you Angry birds. That assembly gave me the absolute rage! If I were you I'd be really unhappy too. They'vw created a profile lemon.for your DS which wasn't there before. I hope you do speak to the teacher and I'd be interested to hear the response.

Alex, this is not what the thread is about. My child doesnt NOT particularly conform to sterotypes and has been led to questioning himself by this task. I just think none of it should be approached until 9/10 It;s counterproductive.

Would be very interested to hear what the teacher has to say in regards to this task. Annoying she wrote such a snippy comment on what seems to be a perfectly fine answer!

I worked in Year three last year, one of the texts we used in guided reading was called Bill’s New Frock and the storyline is very similar to the task your dc has been asked to complete. It may be that they are also doing this text.

not bothering to use his imagination

Or alternatively, he used it very well, and still, having thought it through, realised that his day wouldn't be any different.

My DS is 7. He already questions himself enough (probably dyspraxic, has issues with organisation and co-ordination, and overthinks everything), about whether he's doing things right, or what other people will think. The last thing he needs is for people to then wade in and point out how different he is to other boys (doesn't like action cartoons, family isn't into sport so he isn't either, generally is a gentle kid), or accuse him of lacking imagination because his family doesn't think what's in his pants should affect anything about his personality.

It’s totally unreasonable to expect a child whose own experiences run against the stereotypes to imagine their way back into thinking in stereotypes. And then to say they haven’t made an effort.

Maybe the intentions were good but the teacher hasn’t demonstrated a good understanding of the child in front of her.

If you saw those secret life of 3 year olds, 4 year olds etc. you'll see that tons of kids far younger have really ridiculous ideas of gender stereotyping already. I think it's good to challenge this as early as possible to be honest. I'm sure it could have an impact on the way their opinions develop as they get older.