Any information on school policy on transgender changing pronouns for teenage child

[ImaMum2017]

Does anyone have experience of a school having a clear policy on what to do when a teenage student insists on being called by a different pronoun to their biological sex? My daughter - who is in the grip of sudden onset gender dysmorphia - is insisting the school call her a boy now that she is 16, in spite of our instructions to the contrary. Does a school have any legal obligation to go against the parent's wishes on this? Desperate. World gone mad.

Does your daughter's school already have a policy? Most schools do. Have you had a meeting with the school about the situation?
In most cases, schools will use the student's preferred name and pronouns - although when it comes to exam entries, they will be more cautious as this is more complex, especially as she will already have a ULN/ UPN from her GCSE entries.
Bear in mind that at 16, your daughter can legally change her name by deed poll without your consent.

This has been posted before, but you may find this blog post by Lily Maynard helpful
4thwavenow.com/2016/12/17/a-mums-voyage-through-transtopia-helps-her-daughter-desist/

Rather than saying the world has gone mad, seek to understand why your child has made this decision. It may be a phase, it may be a change that they decide to make permanently.

At sixteen, your child has the right to consent to medical treatment. Your child has the right to be known by a different name, formally or otherwise. You need to be open to the possibility that they may progress with their decision, medically and socially, and there is nothing you can do about it.

What does the school say? Have you met with the Pastoral lead and Head of Year? So much of this is uncharted territory (for schools as well as parents) and as they are often directed to get their information from campaigning / interest groups rather than from people with an understanding of child psychology and child welfare/
I'd be trying to get an agreed approach between you as parents and the school - one that is sympathetic and understanding and that offers your daughter counselling and a safe place to discuss her feelings.
Have you found this organisation ?
4thwavenow.com/

Op
I do think the key is to keep your relationship with your daughter a positive one, talking and being supportive (sorry if this is 'teaching grandma about eggs etc!) . As has been pointed out she is 16, will be 'Gillick competent ' and able to make her own decisions. There are a number of parents of transgender children who post on here and have lots of experience.
Apparently 4th wave now have set up a new support group for parents - it's a closed group so you have to apply but it might be helpful?
gendercriticalresources.com/Support/

I don't think our school had a policy until they had to deal with my child when they were 14. Then they listened to them, and changed their name and pronouns on the registers and told all the teachers. I was quite surprised as I didn't feel the name was going to be a permanent change. Several other children have done the same since.

OP I don't believe that women can be born in the wrong body. However I do have massive sympathy for people who genuinely believe they were born inside the wrong body. I am happy to call them by whichever pronouns would cause them the least distress. If you insist on calling your DD by female pronouns and try to force the school to do the same, I think you could cause her a lot of emotional harm and damage your relationship with her permanently

We would use preferred pronouns/name but wouldn't change anything officially.

Can I ask, if it sudden onset, rather than something you feel she has been building to, are there other girls in her year or class exploring this? Because sudden onset dysphoria can be due to social contagion.

Teenage girls are under such a horrendous amount of pressure in a completely porn saturated and oversexualised world. Many girls seek to identify out of the social and emotional pressure, by identifying as non-binary, or by exploring the possibility of identifying as a boy, as the media make it sound really easy.

On the other hand, this may be genuine dysphoria. Either way, keep the lines of communication open, don't add to the pressure by telling her she is wrong, and do keep the door open for her to change her mind.

This organisation linked below is for parents and is really good. The school may point you in the direction of support group Mermaids, but I would advise caution as they tend to leave less room for manoeuvre and take an immediate affirmation approach.

Good luck to you both

www.transgendertrend.com/

Another high profile school doing this OP: http://www.independent.co.uk/news/education/education-news/london-school-girl-pupils-gender-neutral-identify-male-st-pauls-public-school-a7589701.html?amp