Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Flip

1 2

Original poster

I was this morning struck by a piece of extraordinary irony.

46 replies

BertrandRussell · 31/08/2017 09:02

We live in a world where anyone deciding to identify as female is accorded the immediate courtesy of female pronouns. However a woman wishing to be known by the honorific Ms often finds it very difficult, with reluctance from colleagues, no space on official forms and general misunderstanding and occasional mockery......

(I have another 5 hours in hospital waiting rooms today.....!)

OP posts:

SenecaFalls · 31/08/2017 17:30

It's not an issue for me personally as I am in the US where it is the default title for women, no matter their marital status. But I am always shocked at these threads on MN.

I have seen posters on MN before with the DBS issue. I have to undergo a periodic background check for my job. The form doesn't even have a place for a title. It does ask about other names that I have had or used in the past, but nothing about titles. And none of my banking information has a title on it.

xqwertyx · 31/08/2017 17:31

I keep seeing these posts popping up, i've used MS for years and never had a problem with it, some of my mail may come through with Mrs on it... does this affect anything? I'm not sure why Mrs/Ms or Miss matters? Should I be correcting Mrs to Ms?!

SenecaFalls · 31/08/2017 17:37

It matters because a man's title does not reveal his marital status. So why should a woman's?

xqwertyx · 31/08/2017 17:40

Ahh ok i get it now, suppose if that kinda think bothers you then it would matter.

xqwertyx · 31/08/2017 17:46

thing

SummerKelly · 31/08/2017 18:17

Conserve I am a doctor too at the trampoline park!

VestalVirgin · 31/08/2017 18:38

How is Ms pronounced? I always wondered about that.

I am glad we don't have that problem in Germany ... we just upgraded all women to the title used for married women, and since antifeminists aren't usually proud of being unmarried, there's little resistance against it.

Rendering a word meaningless by adopting it for everyone is much more efficient than just choosing not to use it, it seems.

SenecaFalls · 31/08/2017 18:39

Miz, rhymes with Liz.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 31/08/2017 18:59

I can't recall it not appearing on forms. I've not had a problem with banks. I've been with the same bank for 41 years. I doubt I used "Ms" when I opened my first account but of the cards in my purse the debit card for this account say Ms so I must have asked them to change it, the other debit account with that bank says "Ms" 2 credit cards ( from a different Scottish bank) have Ms on 1 and 1 no title on the other.

Ereshkigal · 31/08/2017 19:01

NoLove I've been a Ms since I was about your age. I've always corrected people when they failed to get it. Just like I'd correct them if they got my name wrong. I'm not married and don't even have a steady partner, so wouldn't accept Mrs. I might not correct Miss if spoken which sounds pretty much the same but that hasn't happened for a while

conserveisposhforjam · 31/08/2017 19:44

summerkelly

I wonder if it's the same one or if trampolining is generally closely correlated with careless misogyny?

SummerKelly · 31/08/2017 19:57

Boost? I filled it in at the venue. Their iPads there were already annoying me. The woman in the cafe clearly wasn't enjoying her job and gave me a free coffee though, so it wasn't all bad (well it was for her I guess!)

drinkingtea · 31/08/2017 20:47

Vestal I was just thinking it's not exactly "a world" with this specific issue, it is very specifically the British-English speaking world (not even users of American English).

I'm Frau ... It took a while to get used to, but my preference is for first names anyway, which many Germans struggle with in a lot of really quite informal contexts, so it's not ideal either. I've never met anyone who "identifies as" anything other than their biological sex as far as I know.

FlorenceLyons · 31/08/2017 20:49

Oh god, thatstoast, I'd never even thought about the male/female non-alphabetical thing. Now I'm going to see it everywhere!

Toffeelatteplease · 31/08/2017 21:01

I've been using Ms for the last 10 years. Never had a problem with it and it has always been on every form I have filled in, although can't say I'd be fussed or probably even notice if it wasn't. My bank account is Ms Surname, my credit card is name surname is assume it's ms. The only place that default is hospital letters for my son. They alternate between Miss and Mrs Ds' surname.

But over the years I couldn't really care less what you call me. Enough people use Ms it will change.

OlennasWimple · 31/08/2017 21:09

Well done Bert - you've identified the silver lining to the cloud of transactivism! I knew there had to be one, but was beginning to give up on ever finding it. But if Riley J Dennis and all that ilk insist on being Ms, officialdom will surely have to change their ways and accept it as a valid form of address, right?

NoLoveofMine · 31/08/2017 21:32

Ereshkigal I plan to start changing my title to "Ms" soon (should just get round to it - hardly like I have many places to change it ). I'm anticipating having issues with my bank but will ensure it's changed. If I ever marry (doubtful) I'd probably be even more determined to ensure I was "Ms" everywhere because some would doubtless assume "Mrs" and a surname change, exasperating as it is this still persists. I don't think I'll accept "Miss" generally because it's sexist in the sense men only have "Mr" - so women should only have "Ms".

conserveisposhforjam · 31/08/2017 22:35

summerkelly hilariously it's a different one!

WTF trampolining venues? Drs summerkelly and conserve are calling you out on why you hate the wimmin!

newtlover · 31/08/2017 23:51

I have been Ms since forever, never had an issue, the bank don't know that I'm married and don't seem to care that I share and account with DP (Mr AB and Ms CD)- I used to sometimes get Mrs kids surname from school but forgave them if they didn't have records in front of them. The only time I have had an issue is with DBS who could not compute
Ms+married+surname unchanged.
The next time I had a DBS check I sent it with a covering note and no problems,
Like a PP said, a hard stare deals with most situations.

JigglyTuff · 01/09/2017 07:12

It's on the phone that I have a problem with it most: " And is that Miss or Mrs?"

There's always a bit of an embarrassed "oh yes I see" when I reply "Neither. It's Ms"

Also the school insist on calling me Mrs and I hate it

SpaghettiAndMeatballs · 01/09/2017 07:39

I wonder if it's the same one or if trampolining is generally closely correlated with careless misogyny?

Careless misogyny gets my vote - we went to one when visiting home, and all the boys got green socks, and all the girls pink, even if we asked for different (admittedly there were 6 kids plus associated adults in our party, so quite a lot of us). I obviously had to swap with my youngest who is our registered family pink-lover, but a boy.

My bank seems to keep ignoring my title correction. Feels odd being a 40 year old Miss with 2 kids.

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread