Hi, Complete Novice Here

[lookatmeimsandrabee]

Hello fellow feminists looking for advice, tips and guidance. After 40 years of emotional abuse I finally flipped and left him. However my soon to be ex husband never really liked me on the computer so I am a novice at all this. It was only because a shelter worker said I might gain insight reading the feminist pages here. I am still not sure that I am at my final address as my ex is not the forgiving type so I may move.

Having read the boards without joining I finally realize that my ex was emotionally abusive and has been for some time. At first it was because of the kids I didn't want their lives ruined, then I wanted the grand kids to have grand parents. It was only after my ex retired I started to realize just how bad things were and finally built up the courage to leave. I won't bore you with the details but it has been a long road and finally I am seeing light at the end of the tunnel. I am still terrified my ex may come after me as he never dealt well with rejection especially at work and having to retire was a blow to his ego.

Look at me, I can't get away from talking all about him even now. I will admit to there being a lot of smoldering anger against my ex and things that he did that I never got my head round. Hopefully I will find my self worth over the next months. I don't want to right a book but I wanted people to understand why I might not read like a veteran of these boards and to explain why this was the first board I came to.

Many thanks for any help in the future.

lookatmeimsandrabee

Glad to have you aboard and I'm sorry for your painful experience.

You might also want to post under relationships on this site, though.

Feminists will absolutely sympathise, but it can get rather robust on here about general feminist issues.

Glad you're doing better.

Hi lookatmeimsandrabee Its good to see you here. There are a few boards you can have a look at, including the Relationships board, and Chat
Theres also a good few of us on Twitter, and theres a Gender Critical Reddit thats worth a read.
www.reddit.com/r/Gender_Critical/
www.reddit.com/r/Radical_Feminists/

Theres a great online newsletter called Feminist Current
www.feministcurrent.com/

Get stuck in and dont feel like you have to explain yourself or apologise xxx

Strangely it is not sympathy I am after. I got an education about some of the things men do as they get older and want to engage to help others make informed decisions. I have learned about emotional abuse and it being an active part of domestic violence from these boards. I know need to understand what I have been missing and what I can get involved in. As you can guess I am an older women who wants to get back and get involved. I am at an age where the relationship thing is long gone. So now I can either learn and get involved or sit down and mope. The moping may have been who I was, it is not who I am. An angry old lady who is fed up with the crap men have put me through over the years. I do hope that I haven't over done it with the language but I feel strongly that I want some life back.

Thank you DJ, I haven't signed up for twitter or facebook yet but probably will. I have no idea about reddit but will look into it. And I will be reading the newsletter a little later I could do with something to get my brain into gear.

That's brilliant lookatmeimsandrabee.

And for future reference it's very hard to 'overdo it with the language'.

On chat or AIBU, you will occasionally get a thread started complaining about swearing, but unfortunately all it does is attract 1000 posts saying fuck.

Welcome! Do check out the relationships board here. I think you'll find resonance there and be likely able to help women escaping violent and abusive men.

Also the feminists on here are on a range, obviously. But there is a strong radical feminist contingent.

I have late onset feminism. I'm not sure I have the credentials to call myself radical, but I certainly lean in that direction.

So it can get polarised occasionally.

Thank you, I will go have a look at the other boards. I am afraid I do get the concept of late onset feminism and I may be leaning towards radical but only because what men have done to me over the years (one in particular).

lookatmeimsandrabee

You'd be amazed at the number of women who suddenly start connecting dots. Born of experience.

And once you see it, it can never be unseen.