Being a wife

[lovingthehoney]

Before we got married we had sex every day. It was great for both of us. 2 children, 15 months apart, clearly the daily activity was off the agenda. 20 years on ...I thought I had cleverly re-educated him over the years to understand that mothers were on duty 24/7 for their children, and that sex had to be a consequence of love and affection rather than a duty. Oh how wrong. He's been amazing in that over time he's accepted that sex is ? Once a week? Sometimes less. but now the children are disappearing off to uni etc, he thinks daily sex is - ought to be - back on the agenda 'just because'.
I can't do 'just because.' I want affection, conversation, consideration, and then I'll want to return the affection. Help?? We do love each other, there's just an expectation gap in there somewhere.

Anyway, in my eyes, either a) you find a compromise (i.e. less than he wants but more than you want) or b) you let him fulfill his sexual needs elsewhere or c) he will cheat at some point without you having talked about getting it elsewhere or d) you separate.

Denying that sex is hugely important (to some people) is naive, and expecting this situation to go on forever will not serve you well. Thinking at some point he will just put up with it and stop looking for sex and stop being grumpy about it, is a long shot.

And to add my two cents, you need to "re-educate" him? Imagine if he went on a men's forum and wrote "my wife was always too busy with the kids to have sex regularly, now that they left the house how can I re-educate her to be as sexual as prior to kids".