We only have 10 years?

[NikiBabe]

I keep seeing posts on here about women worried to be turning 35 or whatever and it has made me realise now I'm above 35 we really only have 10 years to do everything.

Under 25 you're still very young and finding your feet with careers. Just 10 years later you are aware your time is running out for meeting someone settling down and having a child if you already havent.

Men dont have these limitations.

Might it be worth investigating the cost and procedure of freezing your eggs? You might meet a man - the right man for you to raise a family with - when you're 41 for example. Don't give up hope. Visualise clearly everything you really want and get ready for it. Live the life you want now or at least take steps towards. Travelling on your savings might seem reckless, but it can really give you clarity. I'd update your CV, send it off and book a one way flight to your favourite place tomorrow.

It does piss me off when people who point out the fertility cliff get criticised. Sex ed classes should include basic info on women's diminishing window of opportunity IMHO

But knowing of our fertility window doesnt make us able to plan for every eventually.

In my twenties I ended my long term relationship as he became abusive.

My next serious relationship we had discussed names for children, etc. Nothing bad happened he never indicated he was unhappy and yet he cheated. Nothing I could have done.

Knowing of your fertility window doesnt mean you can do anything to make it happen unless I lied about being on the pill in a relationship which I would never do as it is reprehensible.

I know, Niki - it sucks.

I am slightly jaded by the experience of too many of my friends who have decided to spend their 20s travelling and partying, their 30s saving for a house and getting into a career and suddenly in their 40s realising that they won't be able to have the family that they wanted (either no children without assistance of some sort, or only one or two when they had wanted more). In most cases these are people who are still with the same partner most of the way through - it's not the lack of a decent OH that has pushed back their family plans, it's thinking that they had plenty of time to get round to it later

Niki.
It sometimes feels like the world punishes women for choices that they never actually made, doesn't it?

Olenna I know a few couples like this and now we are turning 40 it's hitting home. One df actually said I was lucky I am happy living in my small house as it meant I could start my family earlier.

In your case OP it's bad luck, you haven't been niave thinking you can have it all on your own terms.